Cara Lumen | Sing a Deeper Song

Sing a Deeper Song

Self Awareness

How to Work with a Procrastinator – Or Not

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I could tear my hair out.  I’m ticked, I’m annoyed, I feel disrespected and I’d like to give up the entire project.  I’m working with a procrastinator and I don’t like it one bit!

I don’t really want to figure out the reasons a person keeps putting things off until the last minute, but I do want to explore how they make people feel when they do.

How do you make other people feel when you procrastinate?

If you are a procrastinator, if you are always late, never complete your work on time or prefer to put things off until the last minute, please take a moment to think about how your actions affect other people.

It feels like you don’t care

When people put off doing their part of the work I feel like they not only don’t care about the project but they specifically don’t care about me, my feelings, or my needs.  It’s as if they don’t appreciate or value my contribution enough to make any effort to accommodate my working style. It’s no longer a partnership; it’s me carrying most of the load.  I know that is not the intention of the person who keeps putting things off, but those feelings make it difficult for me to work with a procrastinator. I have a choice.  I can figure out how to live with it or I can quit.

If you are working with someone else, accommodate their work pattern

When you enter into a partnership, get clear about how each of you likes to work. Make a schedule that will accommodate both working styles and honor it.  For instance, I always work ahead.  I’m enthusiastic.  I get excited. My mind is full of ideas, I quickly grasp the overview and I make decisions easily. I write rapidly and I have many skills around writing and publishing. I am always ready long before a due date.  Those qualities and preference could feel as irritating to a procrastinator as a procrastinator’s habits are to me.  They are definitely not a good match for someone who likes or needs the pressure of working at the last minute unless one of us makes some changes.

Change your habits to accommodate your team

If you are a leader, you want your team to care about the project and you want to help them do their best work.  You cannot be a last minute procrastinator and lead a team.  There is no way.  You will lose valuable people who will refuse to work with you. You must build into the schedule the working styles of every member of your team and hold team members to that schedule.  And that includes you!

If I’m building a house and want to put windows in on a certain date, I backtrack from that date and on my organizational chart I put “order windows” on a date that allows time for delivery. If I don’t order the windows on that date, they will not be on hand when they are scheduled to be installed.  When you are leading a team project, the completion of each step affects the ones that follow.  No procrastination allowed.  You’ll mess up the whole project.

I have to change my own response to procrastination

I’d like to stop working with the procrastinator I am currently involved with, but I also love what I do.  What can I shift within myself that helps me honor my own working style and still allows the last minute work to not bother me?  I do all of my content part at my own tempo within my preferred time line. I could simply be content with that.  However, the other person’s procrastination makes me have to sit around and wait on her to do her part so I can make the final adjustments. When her work finally appears, I put myself under pressure to finish the project on time.  Is that OK with me?  Is that how I want to work?  How do I feel about the end result?  Does what we produce together feel significant enough to me that I stay in this circumstance?

I have to choose what is important to me. 

The scenario that prompted this exploration into working with a procrastinator is that I’m the volunteer associate editor of my senior community newsletter.  The editor is the person who is paid to do the job. She is in charge but I have skills she does not have. Since I took over the formatting and content editing the newsletter has gotten rave reviews from the Board of Directors of our community.  I know my work is valuable and it is appreciated, but the editor still puts things off until the very last minute. Although this has been going on for six months, it really freaked me out this time.  I began to examine my choices to see how I could change my experience around our work together.

I took time to coach her in time management and organization skills and still the content she needs to produce is never ready when we have our finalization meeting.  There are always last minute changes that could have been avoided had she given any thought to the final product at an earlier point. So every month, unless I make a change in me or in the situation, her last minute rush annoys and upsets me. It makes me feel like she doesn’t really care about the quality of the newsletter and has no regard for my time or that of the people who hang around all day waiting for her to do the copying so they can fold and distribute it.

If you are a procrastinator, how do your actions make the people you work with feel?

I have to drop my judgments

There is no point in my being upset for the other people she inconveniences.  If it annoys them, they can speak up.  I have to make it OK for me to work with her.  Or I need to quit.  I have to make it OK with me for her to work the way she does.  I need to let go of my judgments and my opinions.  No two people do things the same way.  In this situation, we have a pair of opposites working and I’m the one who has to change.  Creating change in myself falls on me because I’m the one who wants things to be different.

I need to change my expectations

I work on the newsletter periodically throughout the month.  I am on the lookout for meaningful content.  That’s how I like to do things.  It’s my enthusiasm, not hers.  Her last minute decisions make more work for me because I have to change things around but in reality, those changes do not take long to make.  They are more annoying than time consuming.  If I drop my annoyance, it will not be a big deal.  I’m the one who has to change my expectations.

I know that in her eyes she has set aside one whole day to get the newsletter out.  That feels like a lot of time to her.  I could start from scratch and produce and publish the newsletter in one day.  So what.  It’s her job, her responsibility and if she’s not doing it the way I would I have to let that judgment go.

I had to let go of the outcome

It was the day of publication.  Everything was ready except the editor’s part.  She asked me to send her what was ready and she would add her part.  Here’s the deal, she doesn’t care as much about making it look good as I do.  She won’t take the time to tweak it into visual balance.  She will leave gapping white spaces on the front page.  I would have preferred she send the copy for me to insert so I could take the time to make it not perfect, but as well balanced as I could.  I had to let go of the outcome.

I need to put it in perspective

How relevant is this newsletter to the state of the Universe?  That concept takes the wind out of my sails.  This is a monthly newsletter to a small senior community in a small town.  Not a big deal.  So if I go within and remember that what I want to do is change some lives through what I write, then my one philosophical article in each issue has a chance of doing that.  But I also want to contribute to my community which is why I volunteered.  Don’t diminish what you do or your part in it, but do put it in perspective of the other person’s workload. I’m retired.  She is not.  My time is flexible.  She has many interruptions.  Take time to get some perspective on the situation that is bugging you.

I did discuss these opposite working styles with the editor.  She of course, never meant for me to feel the way I did. Will things change because I expressed myself and made her aware of how her procrastination makes me feel?  Maybe. Probably not.  I am the only one who can create this change in me.  I will do my part to the best of my ability.  I need to learn to be content with that.

What is important to you?

My big Zen lesson around working with procrastinators is to be clear about what I matters to me.  I care about writing for the newsletter. I could hold my participation to the submission of one meaningful article a month.  However, I have a huge desire to learn and share what I discover so I have a good time keeping an eye out for additional meaningful content. I take pleasure in creating an editorial calendar.  I enjoy doing the formatting and I’m the only person in our community with those skills Those reasons, along with the satisfaction I get from participating and adding value to my community, are much more important to me than the upset feeling I get working with a procrastinator.

Do I want praise? Not particularly.  Do I crave recognition?  Acknowledgement is always appreciated but I know how much my participation means to the final product.  Is it a need to control?  I probably have to look at that one.  I’m in the habit of working alone.  How much is the final project a reflection of me?  Probably not as much as I think it is.  The only thing I can control is the quality of my own work.  I can definitely do that.

How do you need to change?

If you are a procrastinator, think about how your work style affects others you work with.  Think about how it puts last minute stress on them where there need not be any.  Most of all think about how they feel – that you think so little of them you will not do anything to make their jobs easier.

If you are working with a procrastinator, either adjust your own reactions and responses or move on.

Out With The Old, In With The New

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This is one of those times I get reflective about how I’m doing and where I want to go. How can I make the next quarter better? Or the next year? Or the next five years? Am I headed in the right direction for me?  Am I headed for success?

Am I still going where I want to go?

How has my vision changed?  Can I see myself playing bigger, reaching more people, touching more lives? Have new paths opened up that I want to follow or explore?  Starting right this minute, what do I want to attract, create, and manifest over the next twelve months?

Write it down. Make it concrete. Prioritize. What’s at the core of all you do that you want to keep doing? Why do you get up in the morning and do what you do? What is your passion and are you still following it?

What new skills have I learned?

We are constantly learning and changing. What have you learned, discovered, experienced that has brought a new realization or insight that you want to incorporate into your life and business?  Have you added a new credential? Is there a new venue you want to explore?  Have you met new people to partner with? Write down your skill sets, see how many ways you can use them. Prioritize them and build them into your business.

What’s working and what needs to be phased out?

Get real with your dollars and cents. What is earning you money? What is fun but doesn’t bring in income?  How can you streamline your costs? What help do you need to get?  Shed the worst 10% of everything you’ve got – that includes clients, products and time wasters. That leaves room for you to add 10% more of the great stuff.

What are my goals for the year?

Only take the steps that forward the goal you have chosen for the year. That will keep you on target and produce more relevant results. Do you want to get more clients? How many? What do you need to do to make that happen? Get a coach? Do more networking? Do more referral education?  Pick tangible goals with measurable results and track your success. That helps you know what to keep and what to toss at your quarterly 10% house cleaning toss.

Re-price, Repackage, Reposition

The easiest way to increase income is to re-price – as in raise your prices.  Don’t look at what you do according to the time it takes you to do it. Look at the value it produces and price accordingly. When I coach a person in developing an information product, it’s not about the time we spend together or the time I spend strengthening the content, it’s about the value of the results she will get with the content we produce. Even more important is the knowledge she obtained that she can reuse again and again to make more  information products. That changes our thinking, doesn’t it?

Repackage – position your offering so people sign for longer periods of time. That allows them to make the buying decision only once. I ask for a three-month commitment because the decision-making process takes time.  The completing of the project is a snap after the decisions are made.  Some coaches have a six-month or twelve-month commitment.  How much time do you need to get the results you promise?  The coaching process is about change and that simply takes time. If you are settling for a three month commitment, look for other offerings you can make to up-sell that client to a longer coaching package. Keep finding ways to serve those loyal customers who already know and love you.

Chunk your products up or down. Present the same material in new formats. I broke a five-week telecourse down into a series of eight ebooks so people can access the information at a lower price point.  Breaking that information down also gave me the chance to expand each topic.

Reposition your offerings to a new target market. As I move into semi-retirement I have discovered a whole new set of personal challenges.  How do I stay relevant?  Who am I if I am not my business?  My passion to learn and teach and write remains but my interest has shifted.  I now help entrepreneurs who are moving into retirement with all their creative juices still flowing, to re-purpose their passion and talent so they can slow down and still feel productive and relevant. I’m focusing on personal growth. I help my clients find balance.  My business background can help them downsize and reposition their business. My spiritual background can help them prepare for retirement.  It’s the same me with the same skill set. It’s simply a different focus for my offerings.

Move more deeply in service

If you continue to move more deeply in service, to continue to find ways to support, nourish, guide, encourage, inspire your target market, you’ll be happy and they will keep coming.  Don’t throw out everything. Don’t start over with everything new, but take time to reflect on how you’re doing and how you’d like it to be different. Then simply take the steps to make it happen.

One Way to End Procrastination

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There are many reasons for putting something off – it’s simply not time to do it, you are fearful of doing it, you don’t know how to do it, it feels like a huge undertaking or you plain don’t want to do it. All of these are reasons we use to put off doing something. If you play a few tricks on yourself, you may find yourself willingly doing exactly what you have been putting off.

Procrastination means “to postpone doing something, especially as a regular practice.” We have two types of procrastination – a one-time project and the embracing of a new habit.

Abraham-Hicks says, “When you feel enthusiasm to do something, it means you’ve lined up the Energy, and you are being inspired to take action from that point of alignment. When you don’t feel like doing it, don’t push yourself, because your effort is not worth it. But, when you line up the Energy, the feeling of procrastination goes away.”

Here are some ways to line up the energy so that you can move forward.

Change the timing

My first big ah-ha about procrastination came when I changed the timing on a habit I wanted to create but kept putting off. I wanted to spend a few hours one day a week cooking something that would serve as several meals throughout the week and provide meals for my freezer. I chose Saturday because I seemed to have less to do that day. However, several Saturdays went by with no action. Then one week I cooked on a Tuesday and it was perfect! It turned out that I play cards on Saturday night so there was always the pressure to be ready to go out. By switching the time to Tuesday, I had nothing else to do but enjoy cooking the meal and could take my time doing it.

Exercise is another activity that could benefit from changing the time. I planned to exercise at 11 AM while watching The View, but after a morning of writing what I really wanted was a cup of tea while I watched it. The tea usually won. When I looked closer at my day, I saw I really needed a physical break in the afternoon. I started taking a walk when I went for the mail at noon and began doing some yoga in the afternoon when I am ready for another break.

What timing do you need to change in order to stop procrastinating?

What if it feels like a huge undertaking?

I need and want to rearrange my web presence. That means absorbing one blog into another and repositioning my major web site. It’s a huge amount of work and my procrastination is compounded by the fact that I am still in the process of getting clear how I want to reposition myself. It is such a big job that even though I am a fabulous organizer, I blanch at the thought of moving all those pages. The first step is to figure out my new position, that alone may unleash a flood of ideas. Another is to see this new positioning as creating a better home for the direction I want to move in. It means moving a lot of posts and creating new opt in offers and new mini-courses and a lot of the links in a lot of places. Of course it feels huge – it is.

Part of my reluctance comes from the need to get clear about how to reposition myself. It also means I have to let go of some things to make room for the new. Once those decisions are made, I know I will jump in and get it done.

Let it unfold

My big Zen lesson in life is to allow things to unfold. Allowing it to unfold does have some action steps in it. For me that means to contemplate the idea on a regular basis, watch how I feel, see what steps I figure out and decide what I am willing to do. When the time comes, I will know what action to take. Set your overall goal, break it down into small steps and see where it leads you.

It may not be time to do it

The idea to consider giving up one of my blogs showed up a few months ago but I had to get used to the idea. One day, in a few hours time, I realized it was time to take action so I gathered information that would help me make it happen. In this case, it was choosing between keeping an HTML site versus converting it to a WordPress site and the feasibility of moving content from one to the other. That actually was a key step in unplugging the stopped up energy around this project – I uncovered my options and could make an informed decision. As I explore these options, I began to outline the order in which I could make the changes. I even know that I could do it all in a few days. Each new piece of information I gather adds to a gathering momentum.

You don’t know how to do it

I do know how to make these changes which is why I know it is a huge job. I have tons of products all with landing pages and delivery pages to move. I have to find a place to begin and start doing it. If you don’t know exactly how to do your project, spend a few hours gathering information. If I change my HTML site to WordPress there is some folder manipulation to be done and some page forwarding that I need to understand before I make my decision. I contacted people and identified someone to help me with the steps I don’t know how to do. Learn enough about what you don’t know how to do to identify what sort of help you need.

You are fearful of doing it

I’m not fearful but I am reluctant. When we identify ourselves though our work and we change that work, we are left seeking a new identity. The change I seem to be reluctant to make is about giving up a marketing position I’ve held. Or at the very least, emphasizing it less in favor of my new direction. Change is often a challenge. It means giving up something but it also means embracing something new. What do you need to give up in order to move forward? What fears of the unknown do you hold? Do some inner work. Find out how you feel with the change you are contemplating. That alone may help you put your fears at rest.

You plain don’t want to do it.

It is possible that whatever it is that you have been putting off is not yours to do. If you know how to do it, you realize that it needs to be done, and you still can’t bring yourself to do it, hire someone else to make it happen. I’m an idea person not a maintenance person and the project I’m stuck on feels like maintenance, not creativity. Ask yourself why you don’t want to do it. In my case, I do want to do it, but I have not been motivated to set up a specific time line. So I sit with the idea and let it unfold. One morning I’m going to wake up and know this is the day to begin making those changes. It will be done. I feel my interest and desire it making it happen increasing. It is unfolding.

Make a decision and begin

Out of all these reasons to put off doing something, the one that stops me the most is that of simply making a decision. Do I want it or not? What do I want to change it to? How will this change my life – or will it? What is my most pressing need and does this project/action address that? I know I want to move back into writing that is more philosophical. I know how my target audience has changed. I have a major book in progress just for them. There is a need to make a change. One of my blogs in particular does not reflect this new direction. However, the information on it is valuable. The first step is to move the information from that blog either into my other blog or onto my web site. Until the decision is made about where to move it, I can take no action. First, make the decision. Then the action will become clear.

Look at what lies beyond

Be patient with yourself as you search for the answers and decisions that will allow you to move forward. As I resist doing this work, as I do my research and explore my options, I look for the one concept that will focus all this action. In my case, what I really want most is to have more of my books online in digital format. That choice allows me to keep on writing (my favorite thing to do) and has the potential for some passive income. It also allows me to continue teaching though my books, which is my second favorite thing to do. I feel myself aligning with this idea of creating a new platform for teaching and sharing the topics I want to explore next. That is my motivator. That’s what I want to prepare – a new home base for this next part of my journey. Knowing where I am going will make me start getting this change made.

Ask yourself, if you do what you have been putting off, what door will open, what path will it take you on? Look at what lies beyond what you have been putting off and let that motivate you to action.

 

Why Is What You Do Important?

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We all want to feel useful. We all want to feel that what we do has meaning. How do we take what we love to do and put it in service where it can really make a difference?

Why do you do what you do?

We do what we do because we love to do it. We do what we do because we are good at it. I love to write. I love to teach. That has turned my life work into coaching and teaching and writing. Those activities fill my heart. They get me excited as I help people in person or through something I’ve written. I have this huge collection of ebooks and teleclasses and radio shows I’ve created and each one of them taught me something. I do what I do so I can learn and grow and be creative.

When I was a young housewife with four children I decided to find out why each of the men in our collection of friends did what they did for a living. One was in the same job he had gotten right out of school. Another was in his father-in-laws business. When I asked one of them what he would do differently he said he would work outside more. Too often we are unconscious about why we do what we do. But you’re in business, you’ve made a choice. Why did you make that choice?

What elements of what you do excite you? Are you interactive with people? Do you work by yourself to create something new that didn’t exist before? Do you love to use your organizational and management skills to turn around companies? Look at your passion – those things you have loved doing all your life – and be certain what you do today still contains that passion. Your passion contains your purpose.Why do you do what you do?

Why is what you do important to the people you serve?

Here’s the rub. If you love to do something and no one needs what you create you’re in a bit of a bind. Sure, you can create and keep what you do to yourself but that’s not what our life’s work is about. Our life’s work is about making a difference in the lives of someone else. That can be one person or it can be a country full of people. Whatever we do needs to be useful to others.

I’m suddenly attracting more people to sign up for my two blogs and I’m not certain why. I’m looking to see what has changed in me and what has changed in what I’m doing that is drawing more people to me. The answer is going to be in the topics I am writing about on my blogs and the fact that I am posting regularly in one article submission site. Those are the two obvious physical changes I have made – exposure and content. What is less tangible are the inner changes within me that have altered the topics I explore and how I express myself. My business focus has moved into helping people build their business from their inside out. My articles are self-examining and they are hopeful. That is important to the people who are fining me. And it is attracting new people e to my community.

Focus on the difference you can make in the lives of others. What do your services do for your community? My business is about helping people teach what they know. When you make a difference in people’s lives you make a difference in your life. Why is what you do important to the people you serve?

Why does the existence of your work matter?

We came into this world to give our gifts – those unique combinations of talent, skills, beliefs, personality and passion that make us individual. That we offer those gifts can make a difference in the lives of those around us. What is really special is when you put something out there and it makes a difference in the life of someone you don’t know. What I wrote recently touched new people and caused many of them to join my community. They wanted more from me. I have no idea what chord I touched but I do know that what I wrote came from my heart and the topics were about our inner work. My goal has always been to help those who set about to help others. My work helps them do their work better and they in turn can touch more lives. My purpose will never be about being the head of something, or running a huge organization. My purpose is about changing the world one powerful life at a time. And that is going to make a very big difference in the world. That’s why the existence of my work matters.

You never know when you will have an effect. In a telecourse I gave several years ago there was one five-minute section on forgiveness. One small section in the entire 90 minutes. At the next class one of the students shared that she had really heard that section and made moves to reconnect with her father whom she hadn’t seen for years. You just never know how your heart and your sharing will change a life.

Follow your passion

If you are passionate and excited about what you are doing you are working close to your purpose. The journey to find your purpose can be an adventure. You may explore many paths. When you find it you will sigh and settle into an inner serenity that you know will carry you forward one authentic step at a time.

When you identify your purpose and start focusing on it, others will get excited about it because you’re excited. Your enthusiasm will shine through everything you do and become contagious. When you have a purpose it helps you easily make decisions because if an idea or action doesn’t support your purpose you simply don’t do it.

Here’s your assignment, should you choose to accept it. In a quiet place center yourself and one at a time search for the answers to these three questions.

Why do you do what you do?

Why is what you do important to the people you serve?

Why does the existence of your work matter?

Out of that inner inquiry you will begin to find your true purpose. You will see why your work is important. Or you may identify the small changes you need to make in order to place yourself more deeply into service. This is your calling and it is worthy of giving it everything you have.

Are You Reading the Signs?

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The Universe has an interesting way to offer us guidance. It sends signs. Sometimes those signs are about bumping into someone on the street that creates an opportunity you hadn’t considered before. Sometimes it is a phone call or an email suggesting collaboration. It may be a surge of interest in a particular product or service you offer. And it may be an idea that simple floats in out of nowhere. These signs indicate an interest from somewhere directed at you and what you offer. They are worth considering.

Signs that say change direction

I’ve been moving steadily in one direction for about eight years. Before that I was going in another direction. What’s currently showing up are people interested in that original niche – those initial products and services that I still offer on my website. I’m wondering and watching. Part of me feels that if I moved back to that old niche it would feel like going backwards. Another part says maybe I’ve learned all I can from the niche I am in and have something more to contribute to my original niche. Since learning new things is more important to me than just about anything in the world I need to find the place where I can keep learning and be in service while I do. So the question becomes how can I approach this former niche and make a new type of product and service around it.

Signs that inspire new work

I began my online presence as a spiritual counselor. Then I decided to take that metaphysical approach out into the world as I helped people develop their online business. I became a business coach, curriculum developer and an educator. The spiritual part has always been in my work. The current signs are about increasing the spiritual work. I’m observing and thinking and considering.

I feel that a lot of my earlier work was about teaching what I had learned from others in my own unique interpretation – which is pretty much what we all do. But I have now developed what feels like a relatively original idea and would love to find more of those. However, my unique viewpoint has changed because I am more knowledgeable and experienced so if I went “back” to offering more spiritually oriented products they would be different than what I produced ten years ago. That’s a good thing.

I learn when I teach and since I’m going through an introspective period in my own life, I plan to write a new teleclass that will give people tools for self-exploration. That’s quite different from the practical courses I’ve been teaching. My target community is certainly going to be surprised!

What ideas are coming to you that seem a little off the beaten path that you would be interested in exploring?

Signs that a change is in the air

My Passionately on Purpose blog has always been a mix of practical and philosophical – like me. In the past year, I have written more personal development posts than practical ones. That was a conscious decision as well as an organic one. It seems that the Universe has been steadilly laying the groundwork for this possible change. Look at what you’ve been doing the past six months. What has changed? Is there a new direction being suggested?

Signs that suggest new relationships

Some of the signs are coming to me in the form of the people that are showing up to be coached and the products that they are buying – the older spiritual ones. As I examine the world around me, I see major, major changes and as I look carefully at what people want it seems like hope would be at the top of their list. Hope, spiritual awareness and a way to get control of their lives at least internally since, at the moment, the physical plane seem skewed. I could do that.

New people are also showing up who would like to collaborate. People are showing up for coaching who not only want practical guidance but help in defining their values and their passion and their deepest place of service. The people who are seeking me out are coming because they feel a spiritual connection. That’s always been that way it works but these people are expressing it in those terms. Who is showing up in your life that you are immediately drawn to, or who seek you out with collaboration in mind?

Signs that you should take the leap

I haven’t made this leap yet. I’m just reading signs. And I also realize it doesn’t have to be a complete leap, it doesn’t have to be an abandonment of what I do now. It can just be an addition to what already exists. I have to look at what I want right now. What do I want to learn? What do I want to write about? What do I want to teach? Who do I want to coach? And what do I want to help them to accomplish? I can offer a personal development class alongside a business class. It would be a stronger position if I stuck with one or the other but I’m just going to let it unfold. It may also mean that this is the beginning of a gradual transition. Are you being nudged to change directions? How does that feel?

Are you noticing the signs?

What signs are showing up for you? What are people asking you to do for them? What new need do you see out in the world that you would like to meet? How does your present focus need to expand or change in order to continue to be relevant and necessary? Read the signs and see if it’s time for change.