Self Mastery

How to Make Good Decisions Quickly

December 18, 2009 By Cara Lumen

I decided to move half way across the country within an hour of knowing that I must. It was a huge decision, made quickly and acted on in confidence. Do you know yourself well enough to do that?

Had I known I was going to move I would not have invested in my yard, I might have waited to get my two kittens rather than drive young animals across the country. But I didn’t know I was going to move, until I did know. And when I did know I knew it absolutely and irrevocably.

In our lives we contemplate many choices. Sometimes we explore them rather deeply and then decide against them. Sometimes we act impulsively on the spur of the moment. But both scenarios happen when we know ourselves, when we have a relationship with our inner wisdom that we trust. Here are four steps for making a good decision quickly.

The situation has changed.

One of the major reasons we make decisions is because something changes. In my case, my wonderful housemate lost her job and made a decision to move across the state to be closer to her sisters. But the other thing that had changed was that she was the best housemate I’d ever had. So I had changed and the situation had changed.

You need a new solution

What had been working was no longer a viable solution. I needed a new housemate and after several interviews I realized I could not possibly live with someone else. I knew what it was like to live with someone who was really compatible. Financially I either needed to find a housemate or move so I could live alone. To live alone meant less expensive accommodations and those were to be found in the Midwest near my children. Two choices, two solutions to consider.

There are other circumstances building up that need to be considered

I’m 77 and although I plan to live to 114, the reality is that I’m still an older person who should be living near her family. The reality check was that I was ready for some physical help and to be in an environment that was easier to maintain. When I told people I was moving from California to Kansas City they said, “Why?” When I said “To be with family” they all agreed it was a wise move. When considering a change be aware of all the circumstances surrounding your decision, your current needs as well as your future needs.

Take a Reality Check

In order to make a good decision quickly, you have to be aware of the reality of what you have created so far. Your finances, your health, your relationships, your spiritual nourishment, whatever is out of balance should be balanced. Whatever is not working should be dropped. Whatever is working should be increased.

I do a quarterly heartbeat check to see how I’m doing in my business and in my life. Look to see how your situation has changed, seek a new solution, and consider all the changes that may affect both your current situation and the one you are choosing, then tune into what you truly want and you’ll be able to make a good decision quickly with accuracy, conviction and confidence.

How Much Bigger Can You Think?

December 17, 2009 By Cara Lumen

by Cara Lumen

I sat down to mind-map the next four years and couldn’t do it – I could get part way through this year but only very slightly into next. And forget any years after that. I had no idea what I wanted or what I could expect.

I wanted to think bigger but I only did a fair job of it. It was easy to write down the things I had already thought of to do this year.

Then I tried to see where some of those would take me next year, what new doors they would open up, what new people they would attract and I realized that I have to let it happen organically.

What I can do is be very aware. Aware of the new ideas I have. Aware of people who respond to me and might make a potential collaborative partner. Aware of what new skill I have learned and how I might use it to make something new. Aware of changes in the world that affect my target audience. And most of all to be aware of the signs and signals of new possibilities that come my way all the time.

The one trick to thinking bigger is to move your thoughts outside the perceived reality of the physical plane and the limitations we know here. If you have an idea and think it will cost too much or take too much time, or maybe you don’t have what it takes to do it, that’s physical plane thinking. That’s trying to figure out how to do it the human way. To really expand your thinking you have to cut that tie to the physical plane and let your imagination soar in the realm of infinite possibility – where anything and everything is possible. You can do that with visioning. You can do that with daydreaming. You can do that in your dreams. Trust what you discover through your inner knowing. If you can think it up you can do it. Keep expanding your thinking and push the boundaries of what you think is possible. That will help you think bigger than you thought you could..

Do You Give the Gift of Gracious Receiving?

December 13, 2009 By Cara Lumen

by Cara Lumen

As I watch the people around me prepare gifts for others, I realize how important the moment of acceptance is. Do you take a long time unwrapping your present, noticing and admiring the wrapping and the bow and the care that was taken to make the gift packaging beautiful? Whatever is inside, do you truly let it touch your heart and feel the love behind the gift, tune into the person who gave it to you and appreciate the time and the thought and the choice that went into it?

A long time ago when I was in theatre someone came up to a friend of mine and complemented him on his performance. He said, “I could have done better.” I later pointed out how that negated the person making the observations. When someone gives you a compliment let it sink in and then acknowledge it with a simple “thank you.”

In New York City years ago in an est communication seminar exercise we sat in chairs opposite each other and took turns giving the other person compliments even though we didn’t know each other. It was interesting to see how I stopped those compliments from coming in, from really feeling them and accepting them, from believing them. If you can’t feel and accept the compliments that come your way, how will you ever feel nourished, or worthy, or appreciated or any of the great ways you feel when people give you a positive comment.

I keep all the nice things people say about me in an Acknowledgement List on my computer. Whether it’s a short line in an email or a whole testimonial which ends up on my web site, I keep them in one place and periodically read them to give myself a personal acceptance boost and to see how I’m doing – how others see me and if I’m touching hearts like I want to be. Since I appreciate being acknowledged so much I’m going to be better about acknowledging others this coming year.

This holiday season, surrounded with family that I have not been around for awhile, I’m going to pay attention to the anticipation of the gift giver, the expectation of the gift receiver, and the lovely joy of acknowledging and being acknowledged. I’m going to soak it in and give a lot of it back out.

So in the spirit of giving and receiving, I want to thank you for being a part of my community, for reading some of my posts and articles, for coming to some of my teleclasses, for letting me participate in your business as a coach partner, for being a peer mentor and a friend. I am grateful for each of you and very glad to have you in my life.

May your holiday be filled with love and gracious acceptance.

Purposeful Acts of Kindness

December 10, 2009 By Cara Lumen

by Cara Lumen

Her co-worker had just separated from his wife. She went with him to the doctor and then offered her home for his recuperation because he had no place else to go. Her husband went with that co-worker when he had his surgery and spent the night at the hospital with him so he would have an advocate there. Those are not random acts of kindness that’s purposeful kindness, the kindness I find myself surrounded with here in the mid-west.

At the store I was looking at a 40 pound box of cat litter wondering how to get it in my cart when a young woman stopped to help me. I hadn’t asked. She just saw my need and addressed it. At the grocery store I asked the Sara Lee delivery man for a product that turned out his company didn’t make. He even went over to the racks to help me look. It wasn’t there. So I just continued down the next aisle. A few minutes later there he was with two varieties of the product in his hand. I was totally touched by his kindness and we semi-hugged. I think he was touched by my being touched. A young man in my building helped me get my laundry up the stairs. And my niece who unexpectedly helped me find a government building I was having a hard time locating and it took a lot of pressure off of me. I have never before been so surrounded with purposeful acts of kindness – organic acts of kindness.

It has made me stop to see how I measure up in thoughtfulness. I may no longer be able to step in and lift something, or tall enough to reach a high shelf for someone, but there are other things. I can write these posts and hope they inspire someosne. I can write thoughtful comments and acknowledgements to people I interact with. I did recently rescue a mother cat and four black kittens that someone left in a box on the second floor landing outside of my apartment. I was new in town and had to go find the humane society to help them be safe. Sometimes it may be as small a kindness as a cheery word on a gloomy day, or a sincere thank you to the checkout clerk.

I have added something new to my coaching sessions. I have always asked, at the end of my classes and my coaching sessions, what the participants are taking away with them. It’s a good way to help them realize what they have gained and for me to see what was meaningful for them. But recently, I’ve been telling both the participants in my courses and my coaching clients what I’m taking away from our time together and it often ends up with an acknowledgement of the progress the client made, or the collaboration the class shared, or how they have touched my heart. It feels good for both the receiver and especially for me, the giver.

How can you increase your purposeful acts of kindness? One thoughtful act a day. Or two? Kindness is definitely contagious.

I’ve caught the kindness feeling. I’m more aware of what I can do for others. It’s my turn to see how thoughtful I can be. They say you are like who you hang out with and I’m hanging out with some really great people. Purposeful act of kindness, here I come!

2010 – The Year of the Entrepreneur

December 8, 2009 By Cara Lumen

by Cara Lumen

Entrepreneur Magazine says 2010 will be the year of the entrepreneur because unlike a large company we are fluid and flexible and can respond quickly. We’re also small and light on our feet since we use Cloud Nine technology to outsource even some of our core systems. And that frees us up to stay fluid, to monitor and respond to the changing moods and needs of our target audience. Between home offices and virtual assistants and tech people from all parts of the world, we can even start up with very little money and the trend now is for friends and family to bankroll a start up. Anything is possible. Your dream can become a reality even now. Especially now.

I hadn’t thought of myself in that light – fluid and flexible, and if I get too bogged down in where I think I should be going I may not be able to see where I could be going.

How fluid am I? How often do I thoughtfully examine the changes in my target community? Do I look for their new concerns? Do I think about what keeps them up at night? And do I keep adding skills and look at my talents and passion to see if I can add something to my business that will meet those needs?

Are my business systems fluid? Do I have a VA and an accountant in place ready to move quickly if I need them to do more for me? Have I located a virtual team to meet the needs of new clients? Are my own systems set up so that I can quickly add more clients or effectively promote a new telecourse? How have I freed myself up so I can stay creatively tuned into the people I serve?

Is my measuring system in place so I can spot what’s working and what isn’t and quickly do more of what is working? Do I reevaluate my business every quarter and redirect its course if necessary?

How flexible am I? One thing I did do well this month is plan my direction for the coming year. I did a lot of thinking and analyzing and I figured out what my community will want from me and I set up some new offerings. I increased the number of courses in my Magnetic Marketing Method Mastery Program. Then I designed a schedule and blocked off time to make it happen. I even know what new information products I will produce. I’m excited about my plan and I’m a bit like a train going rapidly down the track in one direction. So what if something comes along that seems like a better idea? Will I be flexible? Will I fluidly change gears and directions to absorb or accommodate the new idea? I like to think so.

If I keep my attention on the needs of my community I will know when I need to change. When I hear them call I will answer. And if I have my systems in place I will have the time and resources to make it happen.

If you get too caught up in the details of your business, you can’t do your job – the job that says you are the idea person, the one watching the ebb and flow, the one who creates the new programs and services. As the core of your business, you have to be its heartbeat, you have to tune into its rhythm and keep all its working parts going in the same direction.

Are you set up to change directions easily? Do you have the systems in place you need to grow rapidly? More importantly do you have the mind set to respond quickly? Think agile, think quick, think decisive, think fluid and flexible. Then you’ll be ready to keep up with the changing needs of your community and keep your business in tune with the times.

Self Mastery

Almost Done!