Self Transformation

Mindfulness and the Moment

November 25, 2016 By Cara Lumen

There’s only one way to be mindful – that is to be present in the moment. Present to the feelings in your body. Present to the focus of your mind. When you are mindful, you’re filled with the power and beauty and simplicity of the present moment. It’s a powerful and impressive place to be.

Corral your wandering mind

“What if’s” get in the way. We spend time thinking about what has not even happened and may never happen. That’s not productive.

The tendency to plan needs to be modified too. It’s about control – if we do this, then that will occur. When you begin to live in the moment and allow your life to unfold, nothing is to be considered but the next step. You choose in the moment.

Be attentively curious

When you’re mindful, you hear the sounds of silence. You feel your cat breathing under your hand. You notice your own body and perhaps sit up a bit straighter, or relax your shoulders. You actually hear the sound of silence.

Be attentive and curious in whatever you’re doing. You’ll hear the subtleties of nature and feel the Qi energy moving through your body.

Bring mindfulness to your actions

The practice of Chi Walking asks us to be aware not only of our posture but also of how we place each foot. Yoga asks us to breathe into a tight place and invite the breath to release. The mere act of eating mindfully will totally change your experience of nourishing your body. Act with mindfulness.

Create a mindfulness reminder

Mindfulness takes practice. To develop the habit of mindfulness we need a trigger, a nudge, a reminder to bring our mind back from its wandering and allow our entire being to be present.

When I’m working at my computer, I have a timer that calls to me every 20 minutes. It’s a signal for me to check my body for poor posture, tight muscles and too much intensity focused on my work.

When I stand up, I take a moment to stand straight and tall, to invite all the proper muscles to do their work correctly.

There are times I simply listen – to the world around me, to my own rambling thoughts – and make a conscious choice to still my mind and simply “be” for a moment.

Cultivate Wu Wei

In his book Do Nothing and Do Everything, Quiguang Zhao says, “Wu Wei is a behavior that arises from a sense of being connected to the world. Your inner voices, the voice of nature, and your intuition are your connection to the Tao.”

Listen to your inner voices and those intuitive nudges that invite an aligned action. Listen to the rhythm of nature, the natural flow that has no calendar, or watch what simply unfolds in the perfect time.

Mindfulness trusts life to unfold.

Mindfulness is a moment-to-moment practice.

To Sing a Deeper Song consider:
Trust the Message of Now
Get To Know Your Inner Voice
Allow Life to Be a Meditation
Live Like Water
Mindfulness as a Path to Self-Awareness
Live in the Nowhere That You Came from
45-How to Become a Mindful Presence
06– Unfolding And The Art Of Wu Wei

In Gratitude for this Opportunity to Grow

November 22, 2016 By Cara Lumen

I’ve never felt so tested in my life. Idea and beliefs have emerged that I thought no longer existed in this country because I’d been working so hard on my own spiritual path. And yet, here I am, faced with so much negativity I didn’t even know existed.

This is a huge opportunity to grow

Where do I begin? What do I work on in my own life? How can I change my energy into one of empathy and compassion and tolerance and acceptance?

I, like you, am trying to figure that out.

Don’t let it pull you down

First we have to have faith. Faith that core values such as kindness, inclusiveness, respect, and freedom of expression are still prevalent in our country. I know I can find that in many people I interact with. I can nurture and support myself by continuing to interact with those who are focused on inclusiveness. Who I hang out with matters.

Understand the opposing viewpoint with open mindedness

Judgment sneaks up on you. I got a good look at my own unconscious judgmentalness in the grocery store. There’s a man who works in produce whom I’ve had friendly exchanges with. It was the day after the election when he asked how I was doing. I answered, “Trying to recover.” He said, “I know what you mean.” And we began to talk about it. He laughingly said he wasn’t one of the white men who caused this, as the news polls were indicating.

As we talked, I mentioned that we had to stop using fossil fuels in order to stop global warming. He said he was from coal country. That immediately shifted my thinking. I had an entirely different picture of what people in that profession were like. I mentioned that one of the challenges is the need to retrain people because the technology changes so rapidly. He said he couldn’t do the technical things but his kids could. He was not drawn to it.

So here was a beautiful person who had surprised me and made me realize that I’d been holding certain beliefs and ideas about people, based on their profession. I’d had an entirely different picture of people in the mining industry. It was based on not knowing and not learning in order to know.

Try to move beyond your own needs and beliefs

I’ve mentally dismissed a huge portion of the population because they’re different than I am. I have to work on that. I realize that while I spend time searching for people who share my interests, I have thrown in some judgmentalness about those who do not.

Test your own beliefs

Look carefully at how you subconsciously judge others, particularly people who don’t share your way of life. And here comes another possible judgment. It’s probably those who are the most flexible and expansive in their spiritual practice who will be among the first to figure out how to heal our country.

People are already gathering in group meditations throughout the world. I participate in those. How do we include and feel empathy for people who are so removed from our own experience? It’s a huge opportunity for us to grow.

First you work on yourself

There’s only one thing we really have control over. That is our own feelings, beliefs, actions, and words. One of my first steps is to look at how unconsciously judgmental I am. Once I’m aware of that tendency, I have a chance to change that.

I’m shaken by the amount of anger and prejudice that’s so prevalent. And yet people are simply trying to survive. All of us. Each of us.

What do you believe?

This opportunity to grow ourselves is enormous. We have so much deep spiritual work to do. We have so much compassion and empathy to extend. We have so many of our own beliefs to question and alter.

Are you wiling to change?

Here’s the tricky part. There are some beliefs that I’m not willing to change. When I say they are my spiritual beliefs I realize that people who seem opposed to the way I think are responding to their own beliefs.

I don’t set out to change their beliefs. I just get to work examining and adjusting and questioning my own — moving my own spiritual growth towards feelings my oneness with everything. It’s not always easy to do.

We have to heal

We have to heal ourselves. Only a portion of the population is willing and even prepared to do this. And they can be on either side of these divided beliefs.

All we can do is work on ourselves. This is a huge opportunity to explore. To question your beliefs, to expand your spiritual awareness. If this country is an example of a peaceful transferring of power, an acceptance of our beautiful diversity and a strong spiritual foundation, let’s prove it. Let’s work on ourselves to heal and unite.

There’s much work to be done. Now, begin with yourself.

To Sing a Deeper Song consider:
The 50/50 split
How Labels Dehumanize Us
How To keep Negativity Out of Your Life
The Creation of an Armchair Activist
How to Activate a Tree Messenger to Send Your Healing Energy Out Into The World
How to Use our Interconnection to Heal the World

How Labels Dehumanize Us

November 17, 2016 By Cara Lumen

When we label people in our thoughts and conversations, we remove them from our basic connection as fellow human beings. If I label a group by their religion, or race, of gender, I add a whole layer of “garbage” on top of it. I add beliefs I’ve inherited. One experience may have translated into a generalization of the whole. That dehumanization separates us and we cannot heal until we remove it.

What do you label?

When you begin to label groups, you dehumanize them. They’re no longer people but a collection of your own fears, beliefs and misunderstandings. Labeling is extremely distancing and divisive.

It’s easy to label a group. I, unfortunately, am not fond of old people, although at 84 I’m definitely one of them. That probably doesn’t give me the right to be judgmental and I need to look at that. My general experience is that old people have given up and are no longer trying to be relevant in the world.

Of course, there are exceptions. I’m one of them. And I have to go online to find other exceptions. There’s a lot of personal judgment in my label of “senior.”

In my 40’s, I went back to college to get my Master’s degree in theater, so I’ve had a lot of gay friends in my life. I remember standing on a stage in a park with my friends when a group of straight men came into the general vicinity. I could feel the fear coming from my gay friends. I hadn’t experienced the same discrimination that they had, but I could definitely feel the fear. Nothing happened. There was just the awareness of my friends that they could be in danger.

I learned a lot from my gay male friends that enhanced my life and that of my family. One of my major takeaways was to realize that they all knew how to cook and clean and care for themselves because they would never have a wife to do that for them. So I taught my own sons how to cook and clean and do their own laundry. They make great roommates and partners.

Get to know the group you fear

I think fear is a big part of what keeps us separate. I remember sitting in my office in the Public Theater in New York City. I glanced out in the hall and saw a group of young black men who were going to put on a play there. They were simply talking among themselves. I realized that I felt fear and said so to myself. My co-worker quietly said, “Shut the door.” And when I turned I realized I had spoken out loud and that my companion was my friend and he was also black.

See how these unvoiced and unidentified prejudices sneak up on us?

When I was training to become a spiritual practitioner, there were many very strong women moving along the same path. It took me a while to realize that much of the strength I admired came from them being lesbians and, like their male counterparts, they had developed into strong, self-sufficient people, a quality I very much admire.

Get to know people in the groups that seem frightening to you

I don’t know people with very diverse backgrounds. There’s a bit of a mix in this senior community but the whole county is predominately middle-class white with a lot of affluent professionals, outstanding schools and a liberal approach to life. But this is Kansas. The population is organically not very diverse. So I’m faced with the challenge of finding interesting people from different heritages. I have to find a way to do that online.

I do find people from all over the world connecting on the world peace calls I join and some of the spirituality-based events I attend online. Our diverse backgrounds are simply part of the worldwide power when we are focused on the same cause. That in itself is a lesson in how to eliminate a label. Focus on our similarities.

The key, of course, is to get to know them as people — not groups, not labels — but fellow human beings on our planet home.

Get to know the stories of people in the groups you’re labeling

On the news I heard of a young professional couple who left their home in Syria and walked for ten days to get to the border and safely. Can you imagine what it would feel like to make that decision, to begin that trip and have no idea what the outcome would be?

Another Syrian refugee family was relocated to a town in the US where they were fundamentally isolated, not because people were unfriendly, but because the culture they encountered was so strange to them. They have no support system in this country. They’re on their own. What kind of labels do they have for us? Do they lump us into a category by the color of our skin, our beliefs, our actions?

When we remove labels we find our sameness

We’re all humans. We would like to survive. We would like to be loved. We would like to love. We would like to be productive and valued. That’s all you need to know when you start to label someone — we’re all part of the web of life. We’re all made from the Great Nothingness. We’re the same. We’re one energy, from one source.

Look for our sameness and the differences will disappear.

To Sing a Deeper Song consider:
The 50/50 split
How To keep Negativity Out of Your Life
How Do You Nurture “Different”
46 -How the People You Hang With Affect Your Life
45-How to Become a Mindful Presence

The 50/50 Split

November 15, 2016 By Cara Lumen

50/50 is about as even as it gets. Half see it one way, the other half doesn’t. Half want one thing, the other half want something else.

And yet.

Here we are. One world. One country. One outcome.

Here in the US, we have the opportunity to mirror to the rest of the world how to honor diversity.

And none of us knows exactly how to do that.

People who hadn’t been listening or understanding what was going on with half of our country finally hear. They don’t know what to do with it, but it’s very evident that some aid is needed — some change.

People who worked hard to obtain rights for they way they chose to live are in fear that what they have accomplished may be taken away.

And here we are with a 50/50 split.

MAJOR understanding is vital. HUGE compromise is necessary

That means we will not get our own way. There must be compromise in order to honor and include our diversity. It means that we must become really, really earnest in understanding why the other person feels so adamantly, what their fears are and we must try to understand these fears and address them.

That takes huge skill. That takes statesmanship, not political sides. That takes choosing for the highest good for all.

LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN

Before you judge, listen. Before you make a decision, consider it from several viewpoints. And take yourself out of the mix while you do. Put yourself in the shoes of the other person, their fears, their longings, their needs. We are similar but not exactly the same. We each add depth and value to the mix. Cherish and honor that. In each person.

Protect yourself or walk away

I make a conscious choice to walk away from negativity, anger, discrimination, and mean-spiritedness. But there’s a line in the sand where I will turn and fight.

You need to measure carefully before you draw your line in the sand.

A line in the sand, to me, involves certain core values that I will not compromise. Not beliefs, not habits, not wishes and wants, but core values.

Openness to change is high on my list of qualities I value. Life is a constant series of cycles. Change is constant, although it can be uncomfortable to live with.

I don’t relate well to people who refuse to change, or won’t even consider change. Of course, change brings fear. Adapting to change takes determination and willingness. Not everyone can do that. I have to be patient with those who deny change.

Live and let live. The more specifically focused my beliefs and interests become, the more I’m alone on my path. That’s why the idea of leaving lots of room for people to be who they need to be is high on my list. Take care of your own life. Let others do the same. People in a position to make rules and regulations need to weigh carefully the reasons for their decisions. Live and let live if you can.

I value a deepening spiritual practice. That should have been first on this list of core values but I got caught up in living in the outer world. People who spend time in some version of spiritual contemplation and exploration have a strong foundation to stand on and build upon. Your spiritual foundation is uniquely yours. As is theirs. Honor that. Honor the spiritual path of every other person.

Those who build on their spiritual insights work to become mindful and inclusive. We have a variety of practices that deepen our awareness of the core fact that We Are One. The stronger your spiritual base, the more connected you will feel with others — regardless of how different they seem.

How do I honor the 50/50 split?

Begin within. Look at the labels and prejudices you have in your own life. Examine them for the human story, the basic need, the similarities.

Listen to the stories. What is at the core of the other person’s action? Fear, need, belief? Don’t judge. Listen and work to understand. Hear what is not being said.

Question your own beliefs. I’ve already caught myself in two generalized labels that were absolutely wrong. When you find yourself labeling a group of people, look carefully at what that means to you. What do you fear? What don’t you understand? Where did your belief originate? Become more conscious of the beliefs that are driving you, reexamine them and choose again from your more enlightened present consciousness.

Approach everyone with deepening respect

We’re all many variations on the theme of being human. We’re all born and we’ll all die. We all make choices and live with the results. Our choices differ. Our outcomes differ. Our gifts differ. Our passion differs. And yet we begin at the same place — our humanness. Feel that. Know that. Start with our sameness as a place to heal and connect.

Find the balance

No one will get it exactly his or her way. Whether you’re a leader at your work, or the CEO of your home, or a single person trying to figure out life, find the balance between what you believe and what others believe, and work to find a middle ground.

Be inclusive

Don’t dismiss those who disagree with you. Don’t dismiss those from different backgrounds and experience. Don’t dismiss those with different skills and talents. Don’t dismiss anyone. Be inclusive. Be aware of their humanness. Know that they’re doing what they can with the circumstances they have created for themselves. Accept their incredible and beautiful uniqueness.

Change your thinking

As we mindfully move toward acceptance and consideration for “the other half”, know that all of the work begins within each one of us. When you change within, your reflection in the world changes, and others respond differently. Drop your anger. Release your fear. Expand your empathy. Listen. Be inclusive.

We have a great deal of work to do to address our 50/50 split and we can only do it together.

To Sing a Deeper Song consider:
Everyone Walks the Same Path
I Am You
You Are All-That-Is
The Creation of an Armchair Activist
How to Use our Interconnection to Heal the World
How to Activate a Tree Messenger to Send Your Healing Energy Out Into The World
How Labels Dehumanize Us

Living with Expectation

November 10, 2016 By Cara Lumen

When we live with expectation, we overlook the “now”. We are so busy looking for what “will be” that we don’t see what “is”. And that’s not a particularly good way to live.

A lot of expectation is about hope

We build our dreams around the way we would like life to be. The way we hope things will work out. And we focus on what we want, what we hope for. Some people think of that as “visioning”; but without action, it is simply “hope”.

Some of expectation is assumption

If I do this, then that will happen. If I learn this, then I’ll automatically be able to…. If I go to college, I’ll get a great job. If I spend enough time on my job, I’ll get a promotion. Those are all assumptions. Without action, none of this has any chance of happening.

Some of exception is prediction

Prediction is about making stuff up based on what you know and can see right now. It leaves no room for unexpected discovery, new opportunities or a simple change of heart. Prediction is not possible.

We must learn to live in the moment

There will never be a moment when it will not be now. This moment is all we have to work with. This moment is the only time we have to make a choice. We choose, something shifts, we choose again.

Trust life to unfold

The key to living in the moment is to trust. Trust life to unfold with the perfect opportunities and lessons you need right now in your life. And trust that you’ll make an aligned choice, one that honors your values, your beliefs and your current needs and wants.

You need do nothing in the moment but choose

Not choosing is a choice. Choose a small amount or a lot. Tweak what shows up or turn your back and let it pass by. The present moment will never return. Simply choose – or don’t.

Allow your future to simply become

If I’m not going to expect anything, if I‘m not going to hope, assume, predict or even anticipate my “next”, then what am I supposed to do?

Be patient. Allow your future to unfold, to come into being, to simply become. It will be perfect.

Whether it’s a lesson you need to master or an opportunity that pushes you forward, it will unfold in the perfect time. Accept it. Take it within yourself and choose – in the moment, in the now.

That’s all you need to do. Be present in the now.

To Sing a Deeper Song consider:

The Power in a Ceremony of Releasing
Live Like Water
The Length of Your Reach
Mindfulness as a Path to Self-Awareness
45-How to Become a Mindful Presence
43 – Intolerance and the Need to Be Right