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Service

How to Walk Beside Someone in Service

December 22, 2015 By Cara Lumen

helping hadn 5-2

I want to be a better fellow traveler. I want to learn to be more helpful as I share a portion of my journey with someone. What does that look like? What do I need to learn to do? How do I walk beside someone in service?

I see life as a journey. We wander along paths of our own making, we follow the paths made by others, we explore venues that interest us, we change directions. We run up against barriers, we float down streams, we sit on a boulder and enjoy the view. Life is fluid and it’s an adventure.

Who is on a similar journey?

No one is going to walk the whole journey beside you. Life doesn’t work that way. But periodically in your life you will travel alongside someone who helps you, or someone whom you help. You share a leg of the journey. You help each other and, working together or alone, you help others. That’s how we travel through life, traveling our own path in the company of others.

How do you recognize the moments we should walk together?

When I finally realized that I wasn’t going in the same direction as anyone else in my senior community, I had to go find a whole new tribe. It took a while for me to realize that that was what I needed to do and a bit longer to figure out where to find the people in my new tribe. I found people online who were going the same direction as me, people on an adventure similar to mine.

You have to want to travel

Not everyone wants to go exploring. In fact, few do. And those of us who do have learned to stand alone and are willing to travel alone. We understand ourselves and are eager to deepen our song. We are adventurers, curious explorers with a passion for life.

Recognize the shape of your own journey

Some of us take really long journeys. Others make short trips, they sort of put their toe in the water. Others train for a long-distance swim. There’s no right or wrong way to move ahead, there’s simply your unique journey.

The more I allow myself to be immersed in the direction I’m going, the more relevant my work becomes. I understand why I’m taking this particular journey. I open myself to explore whatever shows up. I trust. I relax and let life unfold.

Many of us are seeking to sing a deeper song but we’re at different levels on our journey, different degrees of awareness. I seldom know what the members of my tribe take from me but I do know what I get from them. So I continue along the path, seeking to walk beside them for part of our journey.

When do you know when to part?

At some point we will part ways. Each of us will move in a more specific direction and take separate paths. The more refined your focus, the more alone you will be. You’ll have to gather bits and pieces of inspiration and insight from various sources. The possibility of someone walking closely beside you for a long part of the journey is slim. But there will always be others to shed their light on your path just when you need it. Let go and move in the direction that calls to you.

How do you help others on the path?

Sometimes helping others along the path is deliberate, sometimes seemingly accidental. The bottom line is to be aware that you’re on a path with others, all of you on a journey, not all going in the same direction. Begin to see how you can give someone a helping hand, or share news of a route you found, or alert them to a bump in the road ahead.

I have an online friend with whom I exchange emails full of self-questioning and soul-searching. Each time I respond to his email, I learn something. It works that way for him too.

I write my posts and podcasts to figure things out that resonate with me. When I share them, they also help others. I know because people tell me. How and why I help are mysteries to me, but I’m changing lives. I thought about trying to figure out the why and how, but decided to relax and follow my passion and instinct and this powerful drive I have to explore in a certain direction.

You help others simply by being true to your own journey.

You can hold their hand

The choices of how you serve others on the path vary with personalities – both yours and theirs. Figuratively holding their hand as they move through a process is one way. Life coaches are an example of that.

You can teach them

People who create systems for others to follow leave strong marks on the trail and guide others in a certain direction. Entrepreneurs who teach a system do this.

You can mark the trail

I think I fall into this category. My writing follows my own exploration, explains my discoveries and shares how I put my new insights to work. It’s not about teaching, it is about being a trail blazer, an explorer, a seeker who leaves markers on the trail. I know many people in this category. People traveling as explorers have interaction with other travelers but mostly in short periods of exchanging or gleaning information before making a decision to move on.

You can leave a map

These are the thinkers who come to a conclusion and tell you why they think that way. It is up to you to read their “maps”, look at the topography they discovered and plan your own journey.

You can outgrow your companions

The more you know, the more specialized is the knowledge you need. Once I learn to ski cross country, I can tackle more difficult trails. Maybe you ski better than your companion. Maybe you have a stronger urge for adventure. Maybe you want to ski jump and your companion doesn’t. Know that you will need to find new teachers, guides, seekers and trailblazers depending on where you are in your own journey.

Walk beside someone. Offer them support in a manner that befits your own journey. Take what you need and then be prepared to travel your own path.

To Sing a Deeper Song consider:

How Are You Exploring Your Essence?

We Are Part of a Larger Spiritual Order

You Are All-That-Is

What Message Are You Modeling?

 

18- How Your Light Illuminates Paths of Darkness

20 – Why Are You In Service?

05-Do You Have the Courage to Stand Alone

06– Unfolding And The Art Of Wu Wei

Do You Hang Out with Givers or Takers

If You Are A Rock – Who Supports You?

Filed Under: Alligned Choices, Self Awareness, Service Tagged With: Deeper Song, service, Spiritual Awareness

How to Free the Logjams in Your Life

May 26, 2015 By Cara Lumen

If I would learn to do just one thing, take one small step, I know that the logjam of my work would spring free and the results would flow down the river of creativity to completion. So why won’t I address that one little stuck place?

Logjam #1 – You can’t make a decision

The first place a logjam shows up is when you need to make a decision and keep putting it off. Look at a choice as an experiment, not a commitment. Then explore that choice more deeply to see how it resonates. Remember, not choosing is actually a choice. What do you want to do? What will change because you choose to do it? Make a decision to get unstuck.

Logjam #2 – You need to know more about the situation

Part of the decision making process is that you may need to do more research to see what appeals to you, what resources are needed, and how much time it will take. You may need to know how much it will cost to produce, its earning potential and how much impact it will have. It took awhile for me to move back into podcasting, but now that I have, I see that podcasts are meeting a big need of mine to have a conversation – even if it’s just me talking. When considering a new choice, notice what need or yours will be met if you go that direction.

Logjam #3 – You can’t identify what is stuck

In my Deeper Song Mantra Day Process, I have added two lines, “Is anything keeping you stuck?” and “ What steps will you take to move forward?” Not every day contains a potential stuck place, but if helps me look for the potential logjams and do something about them. Even if you know you are stuck, you may not know where the jam is. When you continually fall behind on projects, notice what happens to pull you off track. Where is the logjam? What can you do to un-jam it?

Logjam #4 – You need to learn a particular skill

Needing to learn a new skill is where I get stuck the most. I need to learn a new step in a program, or work my way though the first time of doing something and I keep putting off even the most basic step – I don’t even look to see what I need to learn. I put off podcasting a few weeks because I hadn’t used SoundForge in a lot of years. It felt like a lot to relearn. Once I got in, I remembered a lot and I’m back up to speed. Camtasia is next and it feels like there is a black hole waiting to devour me. All I have to do is open the program to see what awaits me. It’s always easier after you take a small step towards clarity.

Logjam #5- You don’t even know you are stuck!!!!

Not recognizing you are stuck is a little harder to work with. When I noticed I had a rather large collection of almost-but-not-quite-completed projects, I created a new workflow process to help me complete more of my work and turned it into a course. One of the realizations the process taught me was that I love to create, but I’m not as excited or diligent about the technical completion to get the work out the door. That’s a major reason for my lack of consistent completion of my projects. With that knowledge, I created a new workflow process that scheduled in technical practice/study time.

What are the logjams in your relationships?

Is the give and take in your relationships unbalanced? Are you being supported in the new direction you are now going? We are in a constant cycle of change. That means we change and our circumstances change Do you need some new friends or even a new tribe? Re-examine your relationships on a regular basis to make certain you are being supported and noursihed.

What are the logjams in your work?

Look at the balance between work and play. Make certain you are getting the support and nourishment you need in your place of work – especially if you are a solopreneur. Are you still happy and fulfilled by the work you do? What needs to change and how will you change it?

What are the logjams in your health?

Aging creeps up on you and takes you by surprise. Get real about the organic modifications in your body and keep up with its ever-changing needs. Adjust your diet. Try new versions of exercise. Learn a new sport. What does your body need to help it get unstuck and moving back into the mainstream of strength and flexibility?

First, acknowledge that you are stuck. Then see where you are stuck. Finally, take action – you have to figure out one small step you can take that will release the logjam that is keeping you from the success you know you desire and deserve

To Sing a Deeper Song consider:

Unfolding And The Art Of Wu Wei (Podcast: – 20 minutes)

How to Find and Express Your Distinctive Voice (Podcast: – 20 minutes)

How Willing Are You to Change – And Why Not? (Podcast: – 20 minutes)

Your Work as You

Overcoming Overwhelm

The Sit Around, Turn It Off Day

How to Find Your Work Rhythm

The Deeper Song To-Do List

The Set Aside Day 

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Filed Under: Self Awareness, Service Tagged With: positve change, self-awareness

The Deeper Song To-Do List

March 31, 2015 By Cara Lumen

Think-of-Your-life--400

I’ve been working with a “Three Most Important Things to Do Today” list for awhile. I wondered what a Deeper Song To-Do list would look like.

The label on your list

The search began when I explored a word substation for “important” What if I chose a different word like three things that will “move me forward”, or “get me unstuck”, or is the “easiest to do” or will “give me the most leverage.” I like the word “leverage.” “Power, force, control” are synonyms. That helps color the choices.

The criteria of “Deeper Song”

The purpose of a Deeper Song To Do List is to create specific do-able action steps that will nurture the community you serve. This could mean:

  • A product you need to complete that will change some lives
  •  A connection you want to make that will nurture you both
  •  An idea you are burning to explore in a blog post series.
  •  Courses that assist people in their journey
  •  A change you need to make in your own life that frees you to deepen your song

What choice has the most impact?

I have so many ideas it is hard to choose where to begin. What if I examine the degree of impact they will have?

  • Who will they impact? Some choices will have a huge impact on me – my life, my understanding, and my personal growth. Inevitably, those translate into clarity for others and it’s often a place where I begin
  • How often will it impact? How soon can you complete it? There are projects and then there are PROJECTS. You’ll have both but a balance is good. You want to keep nurturing your community on a regular basis. A consistent blog post schedule is foundational. I’ve been writing in a series of articles and the ideas pour out. Podcasting takes more time but it is consumed differently and connects with a multi-tasking audience. A course asks more of the participants. You need a mix. Set up a foundation that keeps actively supporting your community, then work on the bigger projects.
  •  How deeply will it impact? You really have no idea how much impact our work will have until you put it out there. In a 6-week teleclass, I once had a 5-minute segment on forgiveness have a huge impact on the life of one of the participants. Our cornerstone content will have great impact. The courses we write ask people to actively participate in their own personal growth. A concept in our podcast series may be an ah-ha for someone. Keep putting your work out from your heart and notice and track what resonates.
  • How do you need to change within yourself in order to sing a Deeper Song? Your personalized spiritual practice will influence how you change. The people you hang out with will inspire and motivate you or hold you back. Your commitment and perseverance will have impact on how you grow yourself. Make adjustments in your personal life that nurture you.

A simple Deeper Song To-Do List

Oh man, I want to choose three most impactful things out of all these possibilities I just wrote down. As your criteria changes, it will influence your measuring stick. Here’s where I started:

Action:  Establish a podcast schedule of 1 per week
Impact: Consistency and a new way to serve my community
How I feel about that: I very much want this in my regular offering.

Action: Write more article series
Impact: Series have impact because they explore a topic more deeply
How I feel about that:I’m going to craft more series .

Action: Compose the “Melody for your Deeper Song” Course
Impact: I’m in a course for this so it makes sense to complete it next.
How I feel about that: I really like these 21-day daily email courses. I will do more of them

Action: 1:1 Skype calls with my community
Impact: Love these. I am letting them evolve organically.
How I feel about that:The new course I’m in has great new people to get to know This is probably the most self-nurturing thing I do.

How do I make a Deeper Song To Do list from this?

If I choose three qualities I want to inspire/motivate/encourage in others what would they be? Mine are:

  • Unfolding: Stay in the moment. Allow life to unfold and shape things as they come.
  • Connection: Interact meaningfully with others. Find my tribe(s) and participate. Allow myyself to be nurtured and supported.
  •  Impact: Putt my gift into the world. Harvest my own crop – all the life experience and wisdom I have accumulated to date. Share it with others – generously.

Unfolding, Connection, Impact

Now I have my measuring stick. Whatever I put on my daily Three Things to Do list they must be aligned with these three purposes.

Action: Establish a podcast schedule of 1 per week
Deeper Song Results::Impact-Put my gift into the world, Connection-Interact meaningfully with others,Unfolding- Stay in the moment

Action: Write more article series
Deeper Song Results: Impact-Put my gift into the world, Connection-Interact meaningfully with others,Unfolding- Stay in the moment

You get the idea.  I’ve only shown you a process

As you develop your own Deeper Song To Do List please share it with me at cara@passionatelyonpurpose.com. We’re on this journey together and we will all follow our own version of the map. We can learn from each other.

What does your Deeper Song To Do List look like?

To Sing a Deeper Song consider:

How Do You Measure The Quiet Progress Of Personal Change?

Why is What You Do Important?

Nothing Is Required But the Next Step

Patience and the Unfolding Process

Filed Under: Service Tagged With: self-awareness, service

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