How To Design Your “Next”
Living Our Deeper Song
Ashe
(“Ah-Shay”)
The Creative in me honors the Creative in you!
I had been living in Santa Rosa, California for 17 years and in order to afford the house I rented, I needed to have a housemate. One was not showing up this time. I suddenly knew that it was time for me to move and begin a new phase of my life. My daughter had said that when I needed physical help, I needed to come to Kansas City where she lived and worked.
I got online, looked at apartments near where my daughter lived, called her and told her I was coming. She checked out the apartments I had found and I rented one. Within a month I was on my way moving from California to Kansas.
What I didn’t know was what would unfold next. My daughter took one look at me and said I need knee replacements which I had never even heard of. In the process of doing that, I stopped earning my living as a Content Development Coach and it became evident that financially I needed to move into subsidized independent living where I could live on just my Social Security. This happened in the space of a year.
Give some thought to your aaging process. Understand what you can afford. Anticipating how much help you need to manage physically is a whole other challenge because it definitely sneaks up on you. Then actively start designing the next part of your life.
It was hard for me to give up my car as my eyesight diminished. It was a strong loss of freedom and independence. Then it became hard for me to walk to do my laundry or take out my trash. Notice your physical changes and be prepared to make a major change in order to have the physical help that you need. Find the people who are trained and willing to do that.
Although I needed a lot of help to make this move, I have never wanted to be dependent on my daughter. Taking care of an older person requires physical stamina and a definite degree of skill. The people that are caring for me now are professionals who chose this line of work. Don’t leave the physical care you need as you age to your children. Keep on being responsible for your own life including your aging process.
See if you can identify what is important in your life and try to keep providing it. It was important that I get to bring two live plants to my new space. And if someone would give me a third plant with maroon leaves, I might even cry. Having that life around me is that important.
Explore all types of communities for seniors to determine the type of support you need and the social life you have in mind. My computer supplies so much learning and entertainment and connection with my friends that it is a cornerstone of my daily life. I am a loner so my computer is more important than any social activities a place may provide. Just know those kinds of things about yourself and honor them when you make your choice of a new place to live.
Don’t try to stay in your home when you are no longer capable of taking care of yourself. My daughter and her husband live in a split-level house which is going to get harder for them to live in as they both age.
Be clear about what physical support you need your new environment. I am being more productive with this extra physical support than I have in the last five years without it.
They are not building very many more of these subsidized independent living facilities in the US and the waiting list can be as long as two or three years so make your choice and get on the list before you need it.
Decide what is really important for you and keep in your life as long as possible but not at the expense of your family.
My sense is that there is subsidized housing everywhere but because the Boomer population is coming up, there will be a scarcity unless they build more. Go exploring and see what will work for you. The waiting list can be several years, particularly as the older population proceeds to grow faster than the community is being built to support it.
Take a close look at what do you want to have in your life during this next stage of your life. Then go exploring until you find the perfect place for you to move to next. Design your own future living experience and make sure you have the assistance and care that you need as you age.
DEEPER SONG AFFIRMATION
I go exploring to find new living opportunities and thoughtfully design the next phase of my life.
DEEPER SONG PROCESS
- Do some very specific assessments of your current physical, emotional, and financial situation to begin to assess your future housing needs.
- Literally make a list of what you want in your future life and prioritize it.
- Begin to network with your friends and relatives to find out what types of independent living or assisted living are available. Go exploring and perhaps get on a list or two.
- Begin to visualize how you want this next phase of your life. Do you want to be with people? Do you want to have access to learning? Do you need to be in nature? Identify the aspects that appeal to you and prioritize them.
- Network to get recommendations. Go exploring. Check out a few places and get on a few lists if something appeals to you. Imagine yourself in these various situations and begin to select the elements that you want in this next portion of your life.
- Know yourself. Know what you need emotionally and physically. But also listen to what your family describes as your limitations.
- We have control even as we need more help. Go exploring while you are physically able to examine potential living spaces and then get on a few lists and see what unfolds. Take charge of your future as you age. But be honest about what you truly need.
===INNER WORK===
Deepen Your Inner Awareness
How To Create A Ceremony
A ceremony can be simple or elaborate. It begins with establishing the purpose of your ceremony. Do you want to release or receive or honor?
A ceremony begins with an intention.
A ceremony can be focused on releasing something, blessing something, changing something or honoring something. Or a ceremony can be made in order to attract something into your life. Set your intention. What is the purpose of your ceremony?
Create Sacred Space
Preparations for your ceremony can be simple or elaborate. It can be indoors or outdoors. Set your intention to create a sacred space and let your inner voice help you arrange it accordingly.
Decide on the form the ceremony will take.
If it is a ceremony of releasing what form will the releasing take?
Will you burn something or tear up a piece of paper? Will you dissolve something in liquid? Would you blow it out on soap bubbles? What symbolic move will you make that indicates you are releasing whatever it is you choose to release?
If it is a ceremony of honoring or attraction, what are your offering or attracting?
Is it a blessing? Is it an affirmation? How are you going to express your intention to attract something different into your life or into a situation?
Open Your Awareness
Choose your intention, focus your awareness and set up your sacred space. Think of this as creating a small receptive surface to focus your ceremony.
When you’re ready to begin your ceremony, place yourself in a state of receptivity. You might begin by taking calming centering breaths. You might use a mantra like AUM. You might light a candle or use flower essences. Create your own method for bringing yourself into the heart of the ceremony. Let your inner voice guide you. As you proceed with your ceremony, trust the nudges you get from your inner voice. Whatever images and ideas that show up are meant for only you to interpret.
You can sing. You can play music. You can state affirmations. This is your ceremony. Craft it so that it speaks deeply to you.
If you move into a meditative journey, go to your Sacred Garden, trust what shows up. They are metaphors only you are to interpret. Ask for the guidance and clarity that you seek.
Journal to Go Deeper
When you take time to write about your experience, it captures your surface awareness and allows you to explore what lies beneath it and move more deeply into the more subtle message and insights that you received.
Before you close your ceremony, pause to review your experience and notice what has shifted within you both energetically and in your expectations.
Close the ceremony with gratitude
When your ceremony is complete, bring it to a close with gratitude. Offer gratitude to your metaphorical guides that offered you insights into the universe and large. When you feel complete, honor the energy of the items you used in the ceremony by placing them carefully away in a sacred place.
Create ceremonies for many purposes.
Honor the Solstice or the Equinox with ceremonies you design.
Create ceremonies to release. Release worry and anxiety. Release energy and ideas that no longer serve you.
Create ceremonies to attract positive energy to a situation or circumstance.
You could create a ceremony to begin your day, to end your day, to begin or end your work, to honor a family member or friend, or to attract positive insights and ideas to help you move forward.
Ceremonies can be simple or elaborate. Set your intention, create your steps, and conduct your ceremony with strong intention. And then watch the results that manifest.
Take Time for Contemplation
Contemplation is about thoughtfully and mindfully considering an idea or topic by examining it from various angles to see if it is still aligned with your goals, your philosophy, and the path you have chosen.
It is a good idea to thoughtfully contemplate your profession, your relationships, your health, your spiritual growth, and your role in the world on a regular basis. That means you take time to look at each of those areas from different perspectives to see if you are going in the direction you want to go and if you are taking advantage of all the new opportunities that are presenting themselves.
As we move along our lives, we are presented with new concepts, new opportunities, and new possibilities. New objectives appear and we must make adjustments and course corrections to make certain we are aligned with our innermost awareness and goals.
Make time to contemplate various aspects of your life, to make certain that you still want to go in the direction you’re going, and decide what you can do to change that direction if you choose.
Look closely at your profession to see how it is changing, what new opportunities are opening up and decide if what you are doing still resonates with you. Re-choose and make a course correction.
Look closely at your relationships – your friendships, your professional interactions – to make certain they are nurturing, rewarding and aligned with your current goals. Change what is necessary. Look closely to see if that change needs to come from within you.
Go exploring to see what new elements you might add to your spiritual practice that would bring you deeper insights, greater understanding and new adventures. Explore the new paths that have opened up and create and adjust until you find the right balance for this point in time.
Take time to rethink and re-choose on a regular basis. Perhaps align these moments of reflection with phases of the moon or the seasons, but several times a year look closely at where you are, what got you there, what has changed, where you want to go next, and what you need to do to make that happen. Then re-choose, take action and move forward.
Answers From Within
Your inner voice is your best friend. It can help you figure out what to do next. It can give you answers to a problem. All you have to do is turn within, and ask and listen. Do you do that?
Trust the answers. Follow the thoughts and insights to receive the guidance you seek. That’s your inner voice speaking to you. Learn to interpret it. Learn to trust it.
===SELF-HEALING===
Take Responsibility for Healing Yourself
Surrender and Accept
Sometimes things just need to be the way they are. We have to accept that and we have to move on. It doesn’t mean you don’t try to change something but it does mean you recognize when changes are not going to happen and accept it.
That may mean that you have to change some plans, perhaps even a major focus. It may mean that you have to put off a dream or get busy and make it happen now. We do need to think big. We do need to use our imagination to explore new possibilities. We do need to vision. We need to feel our own creative ability as we move through life, but we also need to recognize when change is not going to happen and move around it or through it or beyond it.
How Well Are You Caring For Yourself Emotionally?
Emotions are subtle. They begin as small pokes and nudges but sometimes they get out of hand and we can we find ourselves out of balance.
How do you do an emotional wellness check? I think you need to create your own system but there are certain aspects of your emotional and over-all well-being to keep track of. Here are some I thought of. You may want to add to it. Perhaps begin by rating these on a scale of one to 10 – 10 being very satisfied
- Overall Happiness
- Physical Well-being
- Feel appreciated/loved
- Mentally stimulated
- Interestingly interactive with the world
- My impact in the world
- What action steps will I take?
- Satisfaction/Contentment
Answer these for yourself before you read on.
Here’s what I discovered. This is what is true for me at this point in time.
Overall Happiness – 8
I am very happy considering my body is still recovering from hip replacement surgery and my whole body is a bit grouchy. But I am in a good place to live and I’m experiencing an extremely positive response to the kind,loving, caring people around me on the staff. My mind is my best friend and entertainment. We stay very busy.
Physical Well-being – 3-4
At this moment in time, I’m doing major body healing but there are still a ton of things that need to keep healing. I am gradually being able to stand up straighter than I have in years and that’s calling for all sorts of physical adjustments. And I still have to contend with my diminishing eyesight both physically and psychologically. It looks like there is a lot that still needed here and a whole lot of work on my part to heal my body.
Feel appreciated/loved -10
I have a few longtime friends that I speak with regularly online that nurture and support and stimulate me. We are important in each other’s lives. My move to long-term care has put me in contact with a kind and loving and smart staff and I am having some of the most stimulating interactions of my life.
Mentally stimulated -10
This is a very important area for me and I’m really good at making it happen. I am going to have to get very creative in order to work around my diminishing eyesight. This is an opportunity for me to get really innovative.
Interestingly interactive with the world – 10
I’m doing the work. I keep listening to understand the overall direction our planet is taking. I know that more and more of us are recognizing the light within ourselves and are raising our vibration so others can see that soul light in themselves. This is inner awareness work and I am consciously expanding it.
Impactful in the world-10
I am doing daily energy and contemplation work to impact the world. I explore and write about ways to be in the world. I encourage others to be active, aware Light Workers in raising the consciousness of the planet. And I have a strong and fluid spiritual practice. I continue to deepen my own awareness and share those insights with others. I know I’m changing some lives but I actually don’t know to what degree. This journey of mine that I share with others is for my growth as well as to stimulate a deeper awareness of choices in the lives of others. I’m not actually impacting the world at a rate of 10 but my intentions are high and I’m giving my all.
Satisfaction/Contentment- 8
This is all up to me. If I am not satisfied and content, what am I going to do about it? What do I need to do more? Less? Differently? I’m focused on healing my body. I’m trying not to be scared about my diminishing eyesight. I have great friends online who are loving and nurturing.
What action steps will I take?
I have four areas of focus – my physical recovery, my mental expansion/simulation, my spiritual expansion and how I can help change the world for the better. I am active in all of these areas.
What did you discover when you took this quiz? What steps will you take to expand your life experience?
===OUTER WORK===
Explore New Potential and Possibilities
How Thoughtfully Do You Fill Your Day?
How do you fill your days? Do you make mindful choices? You go with a spontaneous flow? Do you live deliberately in each moment? Or are you kind of a free spirit floating through your day?
Being both deliberate and spontaneous can make for a fun day. I deliberately read my email every morning but I spontaneously stop and write in this newsletter when an idea from what I’m reading calls to me. I interrupt my day often to explore ideas through writing.
In my depressed days before I moved to long-term care, I’d waste hours on Spider Solitaire and reruns. Now that I am happier my days are much more interesting and productive.
Continue to explore and learn as you age. Perhaps you expand a hobby that you have enjoyed all your life – maybe even turn it into an income stream. Perhaps you now have time to volunteer to help a cause that is dear to your heart. Notice how you spend your time and see how you would like to adjust it.
What do you want to learn? Do you want to learn to play a musical instrument? I’m playing my drums and thumb piano. Do you want to study a specific topic? I want to finish the Joe Dispenza’s book and read the third Michael Newton book about life between lives. I’m taking Deng Ming-Dao’s newest Tai Chi class. There is a great deal of exciting work for me to do there. And I keep getting nudges. I’ve begun to reread some of the books I have found meaningful in the past. I’m adding more mindful movement to my day that will help my body strengthen itself. I would like to listen to more classical music. I would like to journey more.
How do you spend your time? Does it deepen your awareness, or expand your knowledge or lead you down a new path? Examine how you spend your time and see if it is producing the results you desire. How thoughtfully do you fill your day and what changes do you need to make?
Are You Sharing Your Gifts With Others?
We have been given gifts in our life to help us live an impactful life and we have gifts we are to give to others. Are you aware of those gifts? How are you sharing them? What is changing as a result?
I have been a metaphysical explorer for a good portion of my life and that continues today.
I feel I am at the beginning of a new phase of exploration but that’s all I know. I get little glimmers but no major light how shown up to show me the way yet. What is calling to you? And how are you exploring it and how are you turning to share it with others?
Put Yourself Out There
I have begun to sit in my wheelchair in the doorway of my room that leads into the hall. I’m doing it because I can move my legs back-and-forth to free then from the stiffness of sitting. But the benefits have been unexpected. I have begun to meet some of the residents. I’m also going to greet more of the staff who probably know me better than I know them even though I have a list going in an effort to keep track of everybody.
Today Ruth stopped by on her way down the hall. Ruth is 94 and told me there are several people here are in their 100’s and one who is 104. I get to change my vision and start planning what I want to do for the next 12 or 13 years. That’s a long time.
Another person stopped by whose husband used to live here. She is now leading some of the volunteer activities several times a week. I’m not a huge fan of group activities but it was lovely to see how touched her heart was by this place of service she has created for herself.
Two of the staff members went on a hunt for my navy blue cover with sleeves which has gone to the laundry and had not come back. We have name tags on everything. Leah from laundry remembered that she had put it in the closet of someone named Carol since our names were similar. We found it. Those were some of the adventures I had simply because I chose to put myself forward and sit in the hall and speak to whomever passed by.
What small steps can you take in your life that would change your experience simply because you placed yourself in a different environment? Go exploring and see what gifts you receive.
===DEEPEN YOUR SPIRITUAL PRACTICE===
Self-Healing Spiritual Practice and Deepening Awareness of Our Cosmic Oneness
Forgiveness
Who do you need to forgive? Who would you like to forgive you?
I made an unusual choice 40 years ago that impacted my children and they have not forgiven me. However, if I had not made that choice, I would not have been able to explore and travel the deep path of service to others that I have been on for 40 years. I have been following my inner voice and have made some very dramatic changes all my life.
Who do you need to forgive? Why? Who are the people that you wish would forgive you?
I have followed my deepest calling all my life because it has been so strong in me. Many of the people in my life have no idea the depth of passion that drives me because my choices are not something they would ever consider doing.
My life experience has been that I come together with people who share a current mutual interest and when those interests change so does our friendship.
It makes sense that even family members do not all like the same things. Our job then becomes to find figure out how to love them and at the same time give them space to follow the unique path they are called to take.
Who do you know in your life who has made unusual choices that you have not forgiven them for? Is there anyone in your life who has not forgiven you for a choice you made from the core of your being?
Look carefully at the grudges you hold. Let them go. There was a reason that lesson came into your life. Did you get it?
I know that my choices have been unusual but they were done with passion and commitment and a deep sense of being called along a particular path. I have a deeper song to sing and I can only do it if I am free to follow its call.
There are people who don’t approve of me or of my choices. But I answered my own strong calling and continue to deepen my song.
Give people space to answer their own calling.
===HOW TO BE A STRONG CONTRIBUTING MEMBER OF THE CIRCLE OF LIGHT BEARERS===
Expand Your Role in the Rapidly Evolving Universe
What Are Your Priorities?
How do you prioritize the events of your day? How do you prioritize the tasks that you undertake? The fun times you schedule? What is the criteria by which you choose them?
Entertaining my mind is usually my top priority but healing my body from my hip replacement is a close second.
Do you choose the task because it is easy? Because it has a timeline? Because it is more fun? All of those are reasons we give ourselves to prioritize the elements of our day.
You have to decide. Sone people do the hardest things first. Some people do the fun things first. What are the qualities by which you prioritize your day? Give that some thought.
===BROADEN YOUR HORIZON – EXPAND YOUR VIEW===
Raise Your Sights and Your Expectations
The Upper 10%
I’d be willing to bet that everyone who reads this newsletter is in the upper 10 percentile of intelligence. That makes us responsible in this world in a way that others are not.
Sometimes that makes it hard to find friends because we have to find other ten-percenters. Sometimes it makes your choices seem unusual to the other 90%. We have special work to do, unique places of service to fill and high examples to set.
Knowing that you are in the upper 10 percentile is not about being special, it is about being responsible for holding up our light to show others the way. It is about saving our planet, exploring the higher path and marking the trail.
===OUR EVOLVING FUTURE===
Support and Encouragement for our Unfolding Role in the Future
Care For Mother Earth
Our home is Mother Earth. She supplies the air we breathe, she supplies us with water and food and air to sustain us. Because we no longer live close to the land, we sometimes forget that caring for Gaia is our responsibility every day.
What kind of a footprint are you leaving? Are you stomping around cluttering litter on the land? Or are you moving mindfully in nature?
I know what it’s like to live in a city where there is only concrete beneath your feet. I lived only a block away from Central Park but I remember walking five or six blocks to Lincoln Center to be able to see a full moon. But in California I could watch the moon from my front stoop.
I now live in a retirement center where the rooms encircle a garden tended by master gardeners and a Koi pond to meditate by when the weather is warmer. There is a bird feeder outside my window and I can watch the sunrise and feel the sun on my body all morning. A few days ago, I saw a very large raccoon walking up the sidewalk.
Find a way you can communicate with nature every day. That may mean standing at the window to observe the subtle changing of the seasons. It may mean taking a walk in the woods. It may mean taking a few moments before you get in the car to look up at the sky, to look at the trees, to listen to the sounds of nature. And of course, spend a few moments in nature when you return in order to change the rest of your evening.
Are you aware of the footprints you leave on the Earth? You know how to do this. Carry cloth bags to hold your groceries so you don’t use either plastic or paper. Convert to solar power as soon as you possibly can. Consume organic food so you don’t support businesses that used pesticides that harm the environment. Help others to become aware of their role in protecting Gaia. Be a visible protector of Mother Earth.
What percentage of people who you know are consciously and actively caring for the Earth? It is much fewer than those who are mindlessly harming it. See who you can educate today in a way that will help them take better care of Mother Earth. And keep doing the work yourself.
=== ===THE UNFOLDING DIVINE FEMININE=== ===
Explore and Interpret the Guidance and Messages of the Divine Feminine
The Young Women of Today
The news today is that young women of today are depressed. There’s more detail about that but I want to talk about the fact that the Divine Feminine has actively begun to emerge and is this future of our world. There is much work to do and they are depressed. Does their future seem overwhelming? Does it seem impossible? Or does it even seem futile? This is not true of a majority of young women but there are enough that it made the news.
There have been many times in our history where women have stepped forward to take the lead and make major changes to raise our status and influence in the world. This teenage population has many strong women that have already opened the path before them. There are very strong teenaged activists stepping forward – both male and female. What do they know intuitively that perhaps we do not? My belief system is that in between lives we choose exactly how we want to live and what we want to accomplish when we come out of the plant.
I’m still working to help expand the influence of women in our world primarily by writing these messages of encouragement to both men and women who are more active than I am. I see our role as continuing to explore the possibilities. I see us as a growing circle of light workers who are finding each other and are being bolstered by the presence of other light workers that we can recognize. It’s one thing to raise your light and your intention and another thing to go out and do the work and make stuff happen. I’m at the raise-my-intention to insert energy into the world stage of participation.
There’s a lot to overcome. And I’m sure we have more battles to fight and win. But we will win and we will continue to change the world and bring in more of the qualities of the Divine Feminine.
Where are you on this path? What is your role? And are you stepping into it?
===REFLECTIONS OF A DEEPER SONG PODCAST===
Expanding Awareness
Listen to my
Reflections of a Deeper Song Podcast on
Apple / Spotify / Googleand the
Deeper Song Website
===CARA’S CORNER===
Recognize Where You Are Now. Do Not Backtrack.
I was truly excited over the idea for about 48 hours. I was going to turn all my books into audiobooks. Then I found out how complex it is to create an audiobook. It’s not like a podcast that you can edit and post yourself. But I sure had fun for about 24 hours dreaming this possibility.
It’s good to dream. It’s good to dream big. Your imagination is good for you and you need to get carried away with an idea periodically in order to make sure you still can.
But here was the catch – don’t go backward. However much I might like to have some of my books in audio format, that is not where I need to spend my time and energy. I am to continue to move forward and explore new pathways and leave markers for others to follow. My job is to keep exploring and keep sharing what I discover and figure out in the present moment of my evolution. It was a huge realization for me.
How do you choose to use your time – going back over the past or moving steadily towards the future?
I know that I’ve shared this before but when I became a Reiki Master teacher in the 80s, they asked each of us what we wanted to do with the Reiki. The person who spoke before me said “I’m going to help all the poor people by giving them Reiki.” And I knew immediately with my choice was. I said “I’m going to help all the people who are already flying high to fly higher.” And that has been my role for 40 years. I had to keep going and flying higher and inviting others to join me.
Keep your eye on your goal. The overarching core purpose of your life. I am a way-shower and I have to keep exploring.
===SING A DEEPER SONG ===
Don’t Lose Sight Of Your Calling
The idea was so intriguing it pulled me totally off track. I even wandered down the wrong road a bit.
The idea was so intriguing it pulled me totally off track. I even wandered down the wrong road a bit. Until I realized I was going backward not forward.
The idea was so intriguing it pulled me totally off track. I even wandered down the wrong road a bit. Until I realized I was going backward not forward. But I heard the call in time. I took a shortcut back to the main road and started moving forward again.
– Cara Lumen, February 2023
We create our future with every thought we think, every action we take. Move forward mindfully as you sing your Deeper Song.
Namaste,
Cara
Come Sing a Deeper Song
I help adventurers who are ready to explore the new possibilities in the emerging energy of the Divine Feminine to align their dreams and choices with what is emerging as possible today so that they go beyond their own expectations.
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