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Why We Need to Feel Needed

September 16, 2014 By Cara Lumen

His face lit up, his voice was excited, he was sharing something he was passionate about. He saw his contribution affecting others and he knew he had changed lives. He felt needed. He’s presence counted!

The smallest action counts

He was a 78-year-old man who had hung his two 3-D pictures on the wall of the library of the senior community where he lived. He was actively inviting people to come see them, making sure they knew how to see the 3-D aspect and interacting in ways he had not done before. He felt he was contributing. He felt relevant.

 When was the last time you were excited by your own actions?

We all need to feel needed. When was the last time you were eager to plunge ahead with an idea or take a step that would lead you on a new journey?  When was the last time you changed someone’s life?

We all need to find a way to serve

When I moved into senior housing, I got involved in my community newsletter. Not only did I write for it but I also took over the formatting and it made quite a difference. This is something I’ve done most of my life but the satisfaction came when the president of the Board of Directors praised the newsletter to the rest of the board in front of our management. My service had touched other lives. I had made a difference.

A simple action can make you feel good

A neighbor borrowed a game to teach us I liked it so much that the day I ordered the game for our group. It is one of our favorite games and brings pleasure whenever we play. The person who taught us the game made a difference by introducing it to us and my action in purchasing our own set provided ongoing fun for others. We both made a contribution and it felt good.

What makes you feel needed?

When you make a difference, however small, you are in service. You know that your presence has added to someone’s life, your action has made it a bit easier for someone else, or your words have offered encouragement. You recognized a need; you stepped in and filled it. You felt useful and affective. You felt you had made a difference. That in turn made a difference to you.

We need to feel needed

Everyone needs to feel relevant. We need to feel our participation is necessary to the overall outcome. We are each strands in the Universal Web. Every strand connects, every strand is vital to the whole, the strength of every link is vital. As Chief Seattle said, “Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect.”  Our actions affect others. Our words and actions can make a difference.

Notice you have contributed

You are probably contributing more than you know but you just haven’t noticed it. Take time to look into the eyes of the person you compliment. Step back and notice the joy on the faces of those playing the game you brought. Listen to the wonder in the voices of those who have an insight because of something you said. You do contribute, all the time. You just have to notice it.

What we do for others we do for ourselves

Our moments of service are gifts to ourselves. When our presence affects others in a positive manner, when our words make faces light up, when we see the joy we have created by our actions, we feel good about ourselves, we feel relevant, and we know we have made a difference.  We all need to feel needed. Go out and do some good today. Go make a difference!

Filed Under: Self Awareness, Self Mastery Tagged With: positve change, self-awareness

Cara Lumen, transformational thinker, shamanist, and founder of the Deeper Song Community helps you uncover the treasures of the inner self.

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