There are holes in our world and their emptiness haunts us. One of the biggest holes is around loneliness, not fitting in, not having like-minded people to share with, not liking who you are very much. That’s the lonesome hole and there are ways to not only patch it up, but also fill it up.
Lonesomeness can sneak up on you
I didn’t realize how lonesome I was in my senior community until people began to respond negatively to who I am. I happen to be smart, so they thought I was acting superior. I am continually interested and excited about new things and that jarred their complacency. My area of interest was so far removed from the people here that I had no one to talk with. I particularly had no one to share my excitement with because they had no frame of reference for the online world I inhabited.
You deserve to be appreciated
You deserve to be nurtured. You deserve to be acknowledged. And you will be when you join the right tribe. You have to be active in filling up the hole of loneliness. I am an introvert, so there is a lot of happiness and fulfillment that comes from being alone and doing my thing. Where I was failing was socially, in interaction with a group of seniors who do not even share my views on the power of aging. One of my responses was to feel I was at fault. That I needed to change. What I really needed was to be more of myself and I had to find the environment that would encourage me to do that.
Identify your new tribe
I knew from experience, that the internet is a great place to find like-minded people from all over the world. I had played hard in that world until I thought I was retired. When I decided I had a great deal more to offer, I got involved again. And the chasm between my experiences and the experiences of the senior population I live with widened.
Let go of where you don’t’ belong!
There was an enormous feeling of freedom when I decided to abandon any effort to nourish myself emotionally in this physical environment. I stopped attending senior events I did not enjoy and went searching for my new tribe.
You are the only own who can fill your hole of loneliness
I took some online courses that had active communities in Google+ and I began to participate. I had a whisper of an idea that kept growing and I founded the Deeper Song Community and began to gather like-minded seekers. I encouraged 1:1 calls with people that joined and suddenly my life was infinity richer.
When you find the right group, it will feel like home
These new friends are changing my life. They are responding to what I write. They are saying kind words about my insights. Their responses encourage me to do better work. However, the real point is there is interaction. I am becoming more involved with people who are on a similar path. Some people are guides, some are encouragers, and some provide inspiration by simply being who they are. And me – I’m participating. I’m adding to the conversation. I’m sharing my ideas. I’m posting posts and making podcasts. I’m putting my voice out there and I’m listening to what comes back. That exchange – the give and take of interaction – is what fills the hole of loneliness.
It begins with you. Go find your new tribe.
To Sing a Deeper Song consider: