In order to allow change to happen, you have to create space for it to occur. You have to get rid of your fears and reservations about changing. You have to get rid of the negative beliefs that hold you back. Ultimately, you have to clear your life of the nay-sayers, the people who slow you down, stop you cold, and impede your forward progress.
Who is supporting you?
Make a list of the people in your life that feel supportive to you. Beside each name list exactly what they do to that supports you. Write down how that makes you feel. You now have a deeper awareness about how it feels to be around supportive people and have identified exactly what they do for you. Make a list of the qualities you receive from those nourishing friend and keep on the lookout for new people with those same traits.
Who is not supporting you?
The next step is to identify the nay-sayers, the people who do not support you and the changes you are trying to make. Be objective. Be real. Their relationship to you doesn’t matter. You are looking for the people who think you can’t succeed, who can’t share your vision, who subtly or not-so-subtly sabotage your self-esteem, confidence, and forward movement. Make a list of nay-Sayers. Beside each name list exactly how they sabotage your desire for change. Write how that makes you feel. You now have a list of qualities, beliefs and attitudes that you do not want in your life.
How to fire a friend
The good news is that as you change, your vibration changes and people who are not comfortable with the direction you are taking will simply drop away. They see that your values and interests are no longer aligned with theirs, so they seek someone else. If a long-time friend drops away, simply notice how you have changed and how your paths are headed in different directions. Even with an organic exit of some of the nay-sayers, there may be some people you need to actively fire from your life. Begin with simple steps. Don’t call them up, decline their invitations, and actively fill your life with the people that support you and the changes you are choosing to embrace. Be gentle. Be firm. Be honest. But ease out of your life the people who cannot hold your vision with you.
You are a reflection of the five people with whom you spend the most time.
Think about that. Look at the people you hang out with. Do they reflect how you see yourself? Do they reflect how you want to be? It’s very important to update your friends to match the changes you seek. If I’m going vegan I can barely have a conversation with someone who is into processed foods and animal products because our fundamental values are so different. My choice has lessened our compatibility. I need to surround myself with people who are interested in and actively embracing a plant-based diet, people who can share my enthusiasm and exploration. If I learn a new Chi Gong form, I may need to find new friends who share my interest. Follow your passion. Follow you interests. Follow your desire to change, but know that along the way, your friends will change. And that is a good thing. Cultivate friendships with those who support who you are and who you want to be.
