by Cara Lumen
It takes courage and persistence to learn something that seems hard, or figure out something that has never been easy for you before. But there are times we simply have to push through.
Decide why it is important
A 74 year old friend of mine is getting a divorce after 35 years of marriage and every day is a challenge for her because, as sometimes happens with women in that age group, she relied heavily on her husband to make the decisions and understand the finances. And now he is out of the picture.
Suddenly being on your on can come in a variety of ways, including the sudden loss of a job. You find yourself faced with challenges you never expected to have to meet.
How do you push through that kind of an in-your-face challenge?
First of all you start looking within yourself to find out what is important to you. What do you need in your life right now? What has been missing in the situation that has just changed and how would you like to see this next part of your life be different?
Is it important that you get a new job? Is it important that you find a new place to live? Is it important for you to change your health habits? What is important to you and in what order? Is it health – the stamina and energy to go do the interesting things you want to do? Is it safety – food, shelter, being solvent? Is it love – giving, receiving, and accepting love? Is it feeling worthy – valued, knowing you have made a difference? Or is it something else? What is the most important change you need to make right now?
Explore what you need to know in order to make it happen
My friend suddenly finds herself dealing with real estate agents and loans and setting up her own bank accounts and figuring out her new budget. It has been overwhelming for her since she has never before made an attempt to understand these things. But she is gradually doing it. It’s been stressful but she continues to work to figure out what she needs to know.
In the change you have chosen to make, what do you need to learn in order to make it happen? Do you need to take a course, read a book, or get some coaching? Take that next step that leads you toward your goal.
Get help at the speed you are prepared to accept it
Ask for help. And make the person helping you give you the information at the level and speed that you need in order to own it. Yes, own it. None of this I-sort-of-got-it excuses. If it’s important to you it’s important to understand how to make it happen. Learn what you need to know in order to make it happen.
As I watch my friend work to figure out her options I see that sometimes she doesn’t even understand the basics. She gets swamped and frustrated with the jargon that she has not explored and needs the information to be brought down to its most basic components. Know that might be the case when you are learning something new and make certain you understand what they are saying before you move on. Build a strong foundation for this new information you are gathering. Ask the questions you need to have answered.
Take small steps and acknowledge yourself
Don’t beat yourself up with the I-don’t-understand’s. Pat yourself on the back with the I-got-it’s!!!! Acknowledging yourself is one of the most important things you can do when you are pushing through a perceived obstacle. Create an acknowledgement list and write in at the end of every day. Listen to the encouragement the people around you offer. Thank the people who help you learn what you need to know. Give gratitude for your progress – for each and every step you take.
Stick with it till you’ve got it
Be the little engine who could – I think I can, I think I can. Because you can. Whatever it is you set out to do you can do it. Did you know that when an idea or an opportunity presents itself it will be of the size and shape that you have the ability to handle. Sure it might stretch you a bit. It might make you wonder what you’ve gotten yourself into, but if you had the idea and you decided to make it happen, everything you need to bring it to fruition will show up in the perfect time. So stick with it till you’ve got it.
And then go on the next step!!!
©2010 Cara Lumen
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