Cara Lumen | Sing a Deeper Song

Sing a Deeper Song

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Why You Don’t Understand

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by Cara Lumen

To Blog or Not to BlogWe were both frustrated – she didn’t understand and I didn’t understand why she didn’t understand. What a quandary! And I began to wonder why we sometimes simply don’t understand and what we can do about it.

Why you don’t understand

I’ve had two people in my life latently who for one reason or the other are in a place of not-understanding something they need to. And I can’t figure out why.

In one case the topic is finances. My friend managed for herself for ten years. Then she got married and overtime abdicated the financial responsibility to her husband. Now she is getting a divorce and must find a way to understand the rudiments of her finances or she will never be able to claim her own power.

And maybe that’s it. To claim responsibly is to be responsible for the outcome, the success, the failure. Is it easier not to try at all?

The other person’s topic has to do with her web site. What I figured out about her is that she never took responsibility to learn any part of her system – her shopping cart for instance, which I coached her in. There are tutorials, there is simply going in and studying it, and when I assumed she knew how to get the code for a “buy now” button after all these years because it’s basic I found she didn’t and I don’t think she even wanted to know how.

If you don’t help yourself, no one will help you

There is only so much another person can or will do for you. You cannot just stay in your “I don’t understand” phase. Even on the most rudimentary planes we can understand a concept – if we want to – if we are willing.

What don’t you understand and why are you not willing to do so?

My design partner will no longer work with this person. And I have no desire to work with her any more either. She has to take some responsibility. You can only hear “I don’t understand” so many times before you choose to give up. She keeps looking outside herself for the answers. At least that’s how I feel as a person who has tried to help her.

But what I don’t understand is why these two women can’t or won’t understand topics that are important to them.

What to do if you don’t understand

I’d love your comments on this because I don’t know why people can’t understand certain things. I do understand about natural talents like a math mind or a writers mind, but I’m talking how-things-interact concepts. My financial friend didn’t understand the concept that before she can get a loan she has to know what her income will be after her divorce and rather than starting with establishing what that will be, she went off house hunting. I tried to give her a very simple example of how capital produces interest and she refused to read the email, she said it was too much, she didn’t understand. She shut down at the idea of even trying to understand.

What are you refusing to learn? And why?

I have one suggestion for my financial friend – EFT –  Emotional Freedom Technique around her inability to understand her finances. EFT helps unblock emotions like fear of not understanding, or fear of failure. I hope she tries it.

These women are smart. But it’s as if they abdicate their own power and are unable or unwilling to do what needs to be done to take the steps they desire.

Is it low self esteem? My financial friend’s husband certainly put her down. He had no patience with her and got mad when he tried to help her and then of course she was even less capable of getting it.

I’m trying to think what I don’t understand so I can see why I don’t. I’m naturally curious so I know a little bit about a lot of things. Ahh, I just remembered – chemistry. I was in chemistry class for three days in high school and dropped it. I do not relate to numbers well and the chemical abbreviations were an immediate turn off – I could find no way to relate to them and I didn’t want to know about it. I quit the class.

But what could I have done if I absolutely had to learn chemistry? Talk with my instructor until I found a way to relate to the topic. Figure out my own way to remember what I needed to know. Ask other students for analogies until I found the one I could relate to. Keep working till I had a breakthrough. I’m just thinking what I might have done.

I remember when I decided to learn to edit audio. It seemed complicated although I knew nothing about it. I bought Sound Forge and simply needed to take the tutorials. I would have loved to have someone come in for half an hour and show me but I didn’t and I kept putting it off and putting it off. When I did decide to simply start learning I found it easy and things I had learned in Camtasia years ago were relevant. I had put off doing something I wanted to do for nearly a year because I didn’t just sit myself and begin. We all start from a place of not-knowing. We all have to just start from wherever we are and take a step.

The woman with the web problem is jumping from person to person looking for someone to do the details for her when she starts out by saying she wants control of her web site. And yet she makes no effort to learn what she needs to know to do that. It takes time to learn a new program or a new skill set – and practice and focus. You have to carve out time to make it happen.

My financial friend needs self-confidence but she too needs to make an effort, to understand how her own mind works and find a way to help it learn what she needs to know.

Make a decision

I discussed this inability to understand with a retired school teacher and he said sometimes it was a matter of not being able to make a choice. We don’t make choices because we are afraid to fail, we don’t think we could possible choose correctly, or we simply have never allowed or encouraged ourselves to learn to make choices. No one can help you if you don’t make a choice. And even if you choose incorrectly you learn that that choice doesn’t work. If your inability to understand comes from simply not making a choice, change that. Make a choice, go exploring till you have enough information to see that it will or won’t work. Then either keep going or make another choice.

Know your mind

Our minds work differently as we grow older but if we have been playing with them all along, we just find different approaches, different methods of remembering and learning. Ask different people to explain the concept you need to know to you. Someone will have the perfect way to explain it so you get it.

You may not want to understand something (like how a car engine works) but if you need to know something then start looking for ways to understand. Ask different people to explain it to you in different ways and keep telling yourself you CAN get it.

©2010 Cara Lumen

 

Are You as Coachable as You Think You Are?

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by Cara Lumen

partnersA coach is a professional guide, an accountability partner, a skilled motivator who can only do her best work if you do yours. Here are some ways that people have sabotaged their own success.

We were both shaking our heads in dismay. “She’s gone back to where she was before we started, she’s shutting down again.” I said to my web designer partner, Judy. “And she doesn’t listen” she added. And she can’t make a decision,” I added, “I have to write an article about how to be coachable,” and we started listing the important qualities you must bring to the mix if you are going to be coachable and reap the results of the knowledge and guidance of the people you hire to coach you.

Trust your coach

First be really clear that you need help. Your business is stuck, you don’t know what steps to take, you want to start a new blog or signature information product and you don’t even know where to start.

Second. Decide that a coach can get you moving forward. Then you go coach hunting. Sometimes that person just shows up on your radar when you most need her. Sometimes she’s someone you’ve been following and knew when you were ready that would be your choice, and sometimes you really go hunting. But you will know your perfect coach when you find her. You will feel a connection. You will choose her because you resonated with what she or he does and how they do it. You are excited to work with that person and ready to learn what they can teach you. You are going to pay good money for this learning experience and motivational jump start. To get the most out of the coaching experience there are several things you must learn to do.

Listen to your coach. Listen to yourself.

You coach is going to listen carefully to you. She is going to ask you questions that help you recognize and make your choices. And then, she is going to set up a program to get you to where you want to go. She can see the overview and knows which steps come first.

But you won’t get there if you don’t listen. If you don’t do what she says, in the order she gives it to you, you are sabotaging yourself.

I know you are filled with ideas, but my job as a coach is to recognize, out of my own experience and training, which are the best ideas for the goals you say you want. If you disagree, do so, but express clearly why you disagree. Sometimes you’ll discover that the barrier or resistance is from another source. Let your coach help you discover what is holding you back. Your coach will help you reevaluate your direction based on those objections. For instance, I always ask my clients if they are willing to do the assignments I give them. If not, we talk about why and adjust it according to what we discover together. It may be a reality check time issue; it may be the suggestion needs to be tweaked to increase the clients’ willingness. You are a partner participant. Let your coach help you in and around and through your stuck places.

Make decisions with confidence

You are the captain of your business ship. You are the decision maker. Be in charge. Make those decisions based on what you feel, what you know about yourself. I had one client take ten days to decide between a web site proposal, working on a Mac in a program she knew nothing about or having a WordPress presence up in ten minutes for very little money. Ten days and two coaching sessions! And she didn’t understand why the process took so long. She was in an indecisive mode partially because she didn’t understand her options. I explained them to her and she made her choices.

When Nancy Hendrickson and I decided to partner on Magnetic Blog Builders we had a site up within 48 hours. Sure we may tweak it, add content, change a few things, but we were open for business in 48 hours. The professionals you work with are fast and capable. Make up your mind. Trust yourself to know what you want.

As a web designer Judy Stewart  is incredibly good at capturing the essence of the person she is designing for. But sometimes the person doesn’t recognize it and suggests small changes and shows her three more sites she likes but can’t tell her why. And inevitably the client comes back to the original design. Begin to look consciously at what you want – what colors do you like, what shapes are you drawn to; what feeling do you want people to have when they arrive.

Know yourself and trust yourself

Which brings me to the cornerstone of being a good coaching client – know yourself. It’s not about being inflexible, or being unwilling to change direction, it’s about trusting your intuition, listening to the discovery questions offered by your coach and taking time to go within to find your answer and then making a decision. “I’ll know it when I see it” is a bit hard for a designer or a coach to work with. Begin with a vision. Understand your target community. A web presence is not about you, it is about the people you plan to serve – what they like, what they will respond to, what they need. Know yourself and know your clients.

Take responsibility for doing the work

The most disheartening thing to have happen with a client is for that client to disengage, to not do the work,, to not make the decisions. When the client is excited and making decisions and allowing the results to happen we are all feeling productive and successful. But when a client shuts down, puts off making decisions, will not take the responsibility to learn how to do the next step, we are both soon stuck and disheartened.

Commit and give it everything you’ve got

What point is there in taking a class if you never pick up a book? What point is there in hiring a decorator then insisting on ignoring their advice? What point is there in hiring a coach and ignoring her suggestions? If you have the wrong coach, change. But when you have the right coach, commit to doing the homework, making the decisions and go search out new information and ideas to bring into the project.

Hiring a coach in an investment in your success

A coach has developed an area of expertise. She spends a lot of time developing coaching systems and learning more about her field. She offers you’re her expertise, her knowledge and her insights which translate into short-cuts to success.

In Magnetic Blog Builders we focus on creating a web/blog presence in 4 weeks. Nancy will have it physically up for you in one week, but you and I have some decision making to do – branding, community development, marketing and content development. We develop a magnetic web presence.

As a Book Yourself Solid Coach I help you build a strong niche-targeted foundation for your business and help you decide what marketing strategies are best suited for you and your target community.

As a Signature Product Development CoachI help you organize your ideas, develop and create your product, and create the landing page to help people buy your book, or telecourse, or product.

Choose a coach  that has your same values. Choose a person who is supportive, smart, focused and is the guide you want to help you move forward. Then be the most coachable person you can be.

©2010 Cara Lumen

What’s The Trickiest Thing To Figure Out In Your Business?

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by Cara Lumen

The title of your blog or web page is important, but not as important as the power phrase you put next to it. The URL or title is only a word or two that only suggests what you do. You need to have a seven to eight word byline that not only catches the readers’ attention but holds an emotional appeal that keeps them eagerly reading.

You have 7 seconds to convince people to stay on your site. So the first words they see better be emotionally appealing – not a feature (how you do it) but a benefit (what it will do for them.) Finding that short power phrase, that tag line, is one of the most important discoveries you can make. And it takes time.

Today I helped a client  find hers. We brainstormed for half an hour on our coaching call. Because she had created the system she was selling, she was filled with “how it works” phrases – phrases that mean nothing to the newcomer to the site. They don’t care how you do it they just want to know what’s in it for them.

How would you explain what you do to someone who knows nothing about your business? In seven or eight words? As my client talked about what she did I wrote down phrases based on what she was saying and we chose parts of them that resonated and built on those. Over and over we had to stop listing features. At one point we realized we liked positive, hopeful statements rather the ones that emphasized the problem. That was good to know.

This power phrase is an element of your brand. It is not your who and do what statement – I help (who) do (what) , It is an identity, a short statement that lets people really understand what you can do for them.

Adapt the beginner’s mind

Do you know where you will find that statement? When you try to explain what you do so others can understand it. When you search for the meaning of your work in the simplest of terms.

Begin by explaining what you do to your friends, particularly the ones that know nothing about what you do. Get in their beginner’s mind and figure out what they need to know. Eliminate jargon, those words and phrases that may have meaning in your field but mean nothing to the uninitiated. Look for airy fairy phrases like “It will bring you peace and serenity.” Restate those words into recognizable daily experiences that have an emotional appeal. One of my major lessons has been to learn to explain esoteric results in concrete terms. The more you explain what you do to people who know nothing about your work, the easier it is to find that power phrase.

Look out for features

It’s so easy to get caught up in features – the how you do it. That’s where your mind has been, you’ve been putting your system into place. You are steeped in how you are going to deliver your product or service. But people don’t care how you do it, they care what results you will get for them. Spend your time looking at the essence of what you do for others and then find the words to express it. Part of my power phrase is “I help you believe you can!” I don’t talk about how I do that, I don’t say what I can help you believe you can do, I just indicate that I help people believe in themselves, in their dreams, in their value. Look for that core message that encompasses what you do for others. We could call this your heart phrase – how you are touch the lives of others – heart to heart.

Know your power phrase will change over time

My client is working in Word Press which means she can easily make changes any time she wants. So putting the power phrase we found up on her banner is as easy as typing it in. If it were a web site done in DreamWeaver it would take a web designer to make that change in the banner. So we’re not worried that the phrase we chose might change. I hope it does. We found one that works but as she continues to develop her work she will find that perhaps her emphasis changes or her niche tightens, or she may find her clients are asking for one element she offers more than others. I was “The Vision Distiller” for a few years because I felt I was helping my clients bring their vision to life. Then I realized that I really am “Your Idea Organizer,” whether it’s for planning your web site, developing your initial business, or leveraging your ideas into signature products. It’s about helping you make money from what you already know. And yes, that last sentence has been a tag line along the way.

Allow your power phrase to evolve

Even if you hit on a hot power phrase, be open to letting it change. In helping my client today I realized that our power phrase for Magnetic Blog Builders is actually very weak. It needs to be strengthened. We put that site up in 48 hours so we were moving off of first impressions and making fast decisions. As we begin to define our offerings and write content to explain what we do and set up our packages, another phrase will emerge. And I also realized that what we have there now is a label, not an emotional hook that says what we can do for people. I can’t tell you what that will be right now because I haven’t figured it out. But now that I know I’m looking for a better power phrase, it will show up as I continue to talk and write about what we do.

Be patient with yourself. Keep your eyes open. And let that power phrase find you.

© 2010 Cara Lumen

To Blog or Not to Blog, That is the Question

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To Blog or Not to Blog Everybody’s doing it – or so it seems.  But is blogging for you?  What will it do for you?  How much work is it?  What does it cost? What kind of results can you expect and how soon?  Here are some of those answers.

What will blogging do for you?  

Blogging is an incredible way to self-express.  Blogging is now my favorite things to do.  But then I love to write and I find writing is a great way to sort myself out, to think “out loud” in a way, to make solid my thoughts and ideas.  I write first thing in the morning.  Sometimes it gets posted; sometimes it waits to be reviewed with a fresh viewpoint a few days from then. But I always feel fulfilled after I write.  
 
Blogging helps you meet new people.  When you blog you are putting out your thoughts and ideas, your concerns and your insights, and those who are interested will find you and start hanging out.  They may comment on a post, subscribe to your feed, or write you an email or come buy something from you. One recent comment on my blog was “Another new post with correct points, We have been a lurker here for some time but wish to be a lot more involved from now on.” How great. That person checked me out till I proved my value.  I touched someone, I got someone thinking, or considering, or maybe even finding new choices.  You want people to engage. You want them to start a discussion by adding comments.  You do want to make them think.  And as you do you start to build a community of people who have similar values and interests and needs and desires. And you have found and connected with your target audience.
 
Blogging helps you learn.  If you want to learn something teach it.  If you want to get clear about something blog it.  For instance, one of the first things you want to do with your blog is write your Cornerstone Content, a series of foundational articles that you will refer back to again and again.  Since my target audience is people considering starting an online business, mine starts with "Are you cut out to start an internet business?” and “Are you a natural entrepreneur?”  to help people see if what I have to offer is what they are ready for now. To write those I had to be really clear about my target audience and what they needed.  This post is part of the cornerstone content for Magnetic Blog Builders   to help people know if they want to add blogging to their marketing strategy and if we are the people to help them. By the time I finished writing this post I had ten other topics for cornerstone content – things I know new bloggers will want to know about post length, and keywords, and optimization and editorial calendars.  Writing those will take me deeper into each topic.  I will learn more as I teach – as I make it clear for others I make it crystal clear for myself.
 
Blogging establishes your expert status.  As you blog about what you love, express your passion and enthusiasm for your topic, and share resources and concepts that give value, you will quickly become the go-to person, the expert, the thought leader in your field.  And that is pure gold.  You will become an expert, you will become the go-to person if you consistently put yourself out there through your blog and offer thoughtful, insightful, valuable information on a consistent basis.  

How much work is a blog?  

Like any chosen marketing strategy you have to work it.  You have to be sure its topics are right for the community you want to build and that you keep a consistent flow of posts coming their way.  
 
Like any web presence it has to be well thought out.  For instance, in the package we offer in Magnetic Blog Builders, you start with me, an internet marketing and Book Yourself Solid coach  And the first thing we work on is why you are doing a blog and who you are doing it for.  Sometimes people know, sometimes their niche is way too big.  We sort that out and set the focus. Then we work on personal branding, and how to select topics that will attract the people you are meant to serve, how to write a post and optimize a post, how to use internal and external links, and how to use social marketing to draw people to your blog.  That work will help you aim your marketing arrow at the right target. So yes, there is some very vital foundational work to be done in the beginning.
 
Then you will want to post at least three times a week which can be reveling, enlightening and valuable all at the same time.

What is the difference between a blog and a web site?

None and some.  I see them as having two different uses.  My web site  is where people go to see what I offer – my services as a business coach and curriculum developer and educator, my large collection of signature products and courses, my training and background, my media page. It is a place from which to purchase my services.  My blog Passionately on Purpose  is about who I am, what I think, my insights, my values.  It is a way for people to get to know who I am and what I stand for.  It is a way for us to get to know each other and build relationships.  You can place both those aspects in one place by using static pages on your blog for the “what you offer” part and the blog for the “get to know me” part. 

What does a blog cost?

Nothing and something.  You can get a basic WordPress site up for free.  You can put a free template on it. You may need to pay for a host. Or you can get some professional help and have valuable, time-saving, money-saving guidance on these important first steps.  For instance, Nancy Hendrickson  is our WordPress Wizard. She loves to help people make new blogs.  She spends a great deal of time checking out new plug ins and learning new ways to optimize a blog site.  She explores new resources. When we first partnered I had a list of plug-ins that I knew about from two other sources and she often had a better version of a plug-in that would do what I wanted to do. She knows her stuff.  We recommend a Thesis Theme, and Scribe Optimization and we customize the plug-ins for each client. I don’t want to learn that part, I want to keep learning about being a better blogger, so you can see why we are a great team and offer a great package. We call it “Ready, Set, Blog “because you can be in off and blogging in four weeks. Nancy’s part goes faster than mine.  She’ll have an active blog before you and I have our second meeting. You and I have to help you learn some strong foundational techniques during the four weeks we work together.

What kind of results can I expect and how soon?  

Your success will depend on the value of the content you create,  Like any marketing strategy, you have to work it and let it evolve.  You might write something so meaningful that people flock to sign up to your RSS feed.  Or, you might have lurkers who check you out for awhile before joining in the community.  You have a lot of writing to do. You have to develop your cornerstone content; I’ll help you design a series of posts and a strong editorial calendar.  Then you need to plan to post at least three times a week.  
 
Your success also depends on how you learn to work your social media sites.  We set you up so every time you post your contacts on LinkedIn, FaceBook, Twitter and any other place you’ve signed up for will receive notices of that post.  So you’ll want to work on building your social media connections too. 
 
You blog will add value to your business offerings. My emagazine Passionately on Purpose used to have one article in it.  Now it contains links to everything I’ve written in the two weeks since the last issue.  It contains posts from both blogs and my radio show talks.  It’s a lot of good content.  And now I’m adding links to outside sources that I have discovered to be helpful. So blogging has increased the value of the content of my emagazine and builds my community.
 
People can make money on blogs through affiliate marketing. Sometimes blogs are big enough to attract sponsors.  Some bloggers use ads. But the first thing it’s going to earn you is friends – a community of qualified prospects who take time to get to know you and eventually become those incredible assets – loyal followers.  

Is blogging for you?

It’s inexpensive, it’s effective, and it’s fascinating to do.  If you love to write, then it’s an extremely satisfying place to be as it steadily builds a community of people who see like and trust you. 
 
Give us a call.  We’ll get you blogging like an expert in no time.
 
© 2010 Cara Lumen

5 Ways to Help Your Home Office Keep the Ideas Flowing

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by Cara Lumen

I love working at home. I get to set my own rhythm.  I take a break when I need one, go for a walk or read a bit whenever I need a change.  It’s my call.  And it’s also my call about how well I arrange for my office space to support my creativity, my concentration, and my effectiveness.

1 – Organize your clutter

It is way too easy to put off putting something away.  I even have a basket that I put things in that I want for reference as I write.  It would probably be a good idea for me to put that in some order and maybe next time I go searching for something in it I will, but it is in one place – a basket.  Order is good.  I have a great shelf to put things on at my desk but my cats Sebastian and Sabrina like to lie there, so I’ve made another plan.  Their company is supportive and nurturing and they are an integral part of my home office.  I have labeled folders within reach to place the paid bills.  I bank on line and set up my bill payments the minute I receive a bill.  I have the papers I use during the day handy – all my passwords, a calendar, phone numbers I use a lot.  They are in a pretty napkin holder on my desk and don’t take up much space while staying within easy reach.

But here’s a trick I learned a long time ago when I worked in a regular business office.  Each day before you leave spend the last five minutes organizing yourself for the next day, putting things away, making a short list of what you need to do next. That way when you come in you know exactly where to start and you have a tidy space to get started right away.

2 – Acknowledge your successes

I created an acknowledgement/tracking system for myself in which I write the things I feel good about accomplishing.  I don’t necessarily do it every day but I like to do it at the end of the week and if something really great gets done I’ll write in it at the time.  This Magnetic Momentum Builder is my version of the 5:15 report  also lets me track and acknowledge my forward progress

3 – Bless your work

I used to do temp work so I’d go into a company where I knew no one.  And I would bless the pieces of paper I was preparing. It was fun to wonder how many people would handle that piece of paper and unknowingly receive the positive energy I sent along.

When I am waiting for my radio show Passionately On Purpose to begin, I look out my window and the great nature view I have and bless the words I am about to speak and the intention behind what I am about to present.  I fill my thoughts with loving energy to go with what I offer.

I hadn’t thought to do that with these posts, but I will starting right now.  As you post an article or a blog post or begin to give a telecourse, center yourself and align your thoughts with the people you hope are touched by what you offer.  And they will be.

4 – Listen to your inner wisdom

The beautiful thing about working at home is that when a creative idea shows up you can simply make it happen.  I was thinking up ideas for my radio show when I realized that particular topic would make a good post so I started writing and here it is in post format.  And elements of it will be a future radio show.  Now that I’ve begun to do interviews on my show all sorts of related ideas are showing up and I’m hard pressed to keep track of them all. But the trick is to put your ideas all in one place. I now have a folder called “Idea Bank” in which I keep all those things I think up to do or create. Those ideas you get – they may or may not be  yours to do but if you choose to act on them then you definitely are the chosen one for that idea.

Watch for signs.  Whether it’s an email from a friend with something in that sparks an idea, or you read a phrase in a book that would be translated into what you do, or you’re just sitting there and the idea comes in – those are yours to at least capture and think about doing.

5 – Create meaningful scenarios

Can you look up from your computer and see something you like?  I can look up and see a plant I love doing it’s thing in a corner or a lithograph of an old typewriter I’ve had in my office for years as a symbol of my being a writer, a Treasure Map I made of my intentions years ago that still holds true, and my cats curled up in a nearby chair. Surround yourself with things you like to look at and be with. That’s another reason to keep your working space organized so you have space for your treasures.  Stop and admire the small scenarios of meaningful items you have created.

They don’t call it “home” office for nothing – you spend a lot of time there.  Honor yourself by making it visually pleasing and organized in support of what you do.  Periodically schedule a put-away morning and tidy up every corner of your space.  Love your office.  It reflects who you are and what you are thinking.  It should be nourishing and welcoming.  Fill your home office with inspiration and it will support your creativity, your concentration, and your effectiveness

© 2010 Cara Lumen