Cara Lumen | Sing a Deeper Song

Sing a Deeper Song

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The 50/50 Split

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split heart 2

50/50 is about as even as it gets. Half see it one way, the other half doesn’t. Half want one thing, the other half want something else.

And yet.

Here we are. One world. One country. One outcome.

Here in the US, we have the opportunity to mirror to the rest of the world how to honor diversity.

And none of us knows exactly how to do that.

People who hadn’t been listening or understanding what was going on with half of our country finally hear. They don’t know what to do with it, but it’s very evident that some aid is needed — some change.

People who worked hard to obtain rights for they way they chose to live are in fear that what they have accomplished may be taken away.

And here we are with a 50/50 split.

MAJOR understanding is vital. HUGE compromise is necessary

That means we will not get our own way. There must be compromise in order to honor and include our diversity. It means that we must become really, really earnest in understanding why the other person feels so adamantly, what their fears are and we must try to understand these fears and address them.

That takes huge skill. That takes statesmanship, not political sides. That takes choosing for the highest good for all.

LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN

Before you judge, listen. Before you make a decision, consider it from several viewpoints. And take yourself out of the mix while you do. Put yourself in the shoes of the other person, their fears, their longings, their needs. We are similar but not exactly the same. We each add depth and value to the mix. Cherish and honor that. In each person.

Protect yourself or walk away

I make a conscious choice to walk away from negativity, anger, discrimination, and mean-spiritedness. But there’s a line in the sand where I will turn and fight.

You need to measure carefully before you draw your line in the sand.

A line in the sand, to me, involves certain core values that I will not compromise. Not beliefs, not habits, not wishes and wants, but core values.

Openness to change is high on my list of qualities I value. Life is a constant series of cycles. Change is constant, although it can be uncomfortable to live with.

I don’t relate well to people who refuse to change, or won’t even consider change. Of course, change brings fear. Adapting to change takes determination and willingness. Not everyone can do that. I have to be patient with those who deny change.

Live and let live. The more specifically focused my beliefs and interests become, the more I’m alone on my path. That’s why the idea of leaving lots of room for people to be who they need to be is high on my list. Take care of your own life. Let others do the same. People in a position to make rules and regulations need to weigh carefully the reasons for their decisions. Live and let live if you can.

I value a deepening spiritual practice. That should have been first on this list of core values but I got caught up in living in the outer world. People who spend time in some version of spiritual contemplation and exploration have a strong foundation to stand on and build upon. Your spiritual foundation is uniquely yours. As is theirs. Honor that. Honor the spiritual path of every other person.

Those who build on their spiritual insights work to become mindful and inclusive. We have a variety of practices that deepen our awareness of the core fact that We Are One. The stronger your spiritual base, the more connected you will feel with others — regardless of how different they seem.

How do I honor the 50/50 split?

Begin within. Look at the labels and prejudices you have in your own life. Examine them for the human story, the basic need, the similarities.

Listen to the stories. What is at the core of the other person’s action? Fear, need, belief? Don’t judge. Listen and work to understand. Hear what is not being said.

Question your own beliefs. I’ve already caught myself in two generalized labels that were absolutely wrong. When you find yourself labeling a group of people, look carefully at what that means to you. What do you fear? What don’t you understand? Where did your belief originate? Become more conscious of the beliefs that are driving you, reexamine them and choose again from your more enlightened present consciousness.

Approach everyone with deepening respect

We’re all many variations on the theme of being human. We’re all born and we’ll all die. We all make choices and live with the results. Our choices differ. Our outcomes differ. Our gifts differ. Our passion differs. And yet we begin at the same place — our humanness. Feel that. Know that. Start with our sameness as a place to heal and connect.

Find the balance

No one will get it exactly his or her way. Whether you’re a leader at your work, or the CEO of your home, or a single person trying to figure out life, find the balance between what you believe and what others believe, and work to find a middle ground.

Be inclusive

Don’t dismiss those who disagree with you. Don’t dismiss those from different backgrounds and experience. Don’t dismiss those with different skills and talents. Don’t dismiss anyone. Be inclusive. Be aware of their humanness. Know that they’re doing what they can with the circumstances they have created for themselves. Accept their incredible and beautiful uniqueness.

Change your thinking

As we mindfully move toward acceptance and consideration for “the other half”, know that all of the work begins within each one of us. When you change within, your reflection in the world changes, and others respond differently. Drop your anger. Release your fear. Expand your empathy. Listen. Be inclusive.

We have a great deal of work to do to address our 50/50 split and we can only do it together.

To Sing a Deeper Song consider:
Everyone Walks the Same Path
I Am You
You Are All-That-Is
The Creation of an Armchair Activist
How to Use our Interconnection to Heal the World
How to Activate a Tree Messenger to Send Your Healing Energy Out Into The World
How Labels Dehumanize Us

What Do You Save Space for in Your Life?

By

hand in paper

I’ve been on two webinars today, heard lots of tempting ideas, and I have to stop and take stock. What do I actually want to save space for in my life?

What is most important to you?

I have to decide what’s most important to me right now and look closely at how much time and energy it’ll take to do what I want.

Whether you call it being in service or having impact or making a difference, we all want to do work that has value and that contributes to our world. We all want our work to have meaning – to us as we do it and to others as it contributes to their lives.

So what’s important to us? What do we make the most space for in our lives? It may be your job or your business, it may be volunteer work, it may be your family or friends. What brings you the most personal satisfaction?

Start there. Make more space for that.

How can you accomplish your goals in a more simple manner?

I’m a writer. I’m an explorer of esoteric ideas that I figure out how to apply to my life. Then I share what I discover with you. So the questions I face are: how much sharing to do, in what format, what is the most effective use of my time and gifts and what works best for you.

That’s a big one. When you have a lot of ideas, when you know a lot of opportunities to serve, how do you decide your priorities? How do you make time for what you truly want to do?

Look at what’s working now

It may be as simple as looking at what’s working now and doing more of that. What’s giving you the most results, affecting the most lives, and giving you the most rewards?

For me, it might be choosing to make the podcasts shorter, or writing posts in batches, or simply getting better at the technical aspect of making videos. A variety of decisions must be made with every new opportunity you consider. Choose with an eye to both efficiency and effectiveness.

Our space is sacred

If we view your life, our time, our thoughts and our actions as sacred, we’re going to carefully choose what we put into our available space. We’re going to choose only the things that both nourish us and are the biggest gifts to others. What’s it in for us? What’s in it for them? Find a balance.

I begin by considering what’s in it for me because if I’m not happy, if I’m not fulfilled, I won’t do a good job of reaching others. Align your awareness with your passion and make choices that nurture and nourish you.

What do you save space for in your life? Consider your choices. Make every moment count.

To Sing a Deeper Song consider:

Balance and the Flow of Living
Lose Your Attachment to the Outcome
The Prime Real Estate of Time and Space
The Power of the Label You Choose
Hold the Space for Things To Change
41 – How to Make Decisions When Your Let Your Life Unfold
31-How to Cultivate The Power of Simplicity

Our Opinion Requires No Thought

By

puzzle

Where do our opinions come from? Our opinions come from a hodgepodge of unexamined beliefs and experiences. Opinions require no thought. If opinion is the lowest form of human thought, why do we value it?

We hang on to our opinion because we are afraid

If someone is doing their life differently than we are, we feel uncertain around them. We may feel less than, we may feel more than, we may just feel afraid because their expression of life is outside of our own experience, our own comfort zone.

Opinion requires no accountability or understanding and it leads to violence, discrimination and a narrowing of our own life experience.

We hang on to our opinion because we don’t understand

When I took my final exam in Comparative Religion in college, I wrote at the end – “How do I know my religion is “right?” Up until that point, I had not been aware of the variety of ways that humankind seeks their own spirituality. I hadn’t known about those other religions, therefore I didn’t understand them. I begin to go exploring to find what resonates with me and my particular path and it has been a rich, rewarding and unique journey.

We hang on to our opinion because it’s easier than gaining knowledge

It takes time and energy to get the facts. It’s way too easy to believe what we are told – in the media, by others. If we want to move beyond the shallowness of opinion, we have to be open. We have to be willing to consider our options, to explore several approaches to a solution, to listen with an open heart to the concerns of others.

It’s so much easier to just believe what we fear, what feels uncomfortable, than to examine ourselves to see what we might learn and therefore change about our own feelings and beliefs.

Opinion is scary because it can be harmful

We get attached to our opinions and if they are questioned we hang on even harder. It leads to confrontation. Can you pause for a moment and look closely at your opinions and do some fact-checking, listen to the concerns of other, and be willing to expand your thinking?

The only way to move beyond opinion is to explore

Do some research. Read a variety of viewpoints and recognize that even those “viewpoints” might just be someone’s narrow opinion. Look for the facts and know that even the facts that were selected to share where chosen based on someone’s opinion of what was important. You have to look hard to find what feel like the truth. We fear what we don’t understand. Learn what you need to know in order to broaden your viewpoint.

Question you own values to make certain they are truly what you value today and are not simply the values and beliefs you were taught in your childhood and have never bothered to question. Don’t take on someone else fear. Move yourself into the understanding of the human-ness of what you feel.

The highest form of knowledge is empathy

What if we tried to walk for a bit in the other person’s shoes? What if we truly understood that we are all one – all one energy – all one spirit – all one essence. That you are me and I am you and to harm you is to harm me. What if we embraced that?! The highest form of knowledge is empathy, being able to understand and share the feelings of another.

Can you move beyond yourself?

The first step to compassion and empathy is to feel and see beyond yourself. Each of us is beautifully unique just as we are. We are here to be appreciated and valued and learned from. You are. I am They are. We are. We are one.

Can you empathize enough so that you can feel both the joy and pain of the people you have a negative opinion about? Can you look deeply into the things you hold in common and celebrate their unique value in the world?

A person is a person, whatever their race, nationality, or gender. People love, they share, they teach, they learn, they walk, they rest, they think, they create. We are all the same, whatever we look like or however we express our own individuality.

What is the highest good for all?

A person stepping forth to lead will not “please” everyone. We are too beautifully unique – and unfortunately too opinionated. What if we all found solutions that were for the highest good for all? The highest good, the best for everyone. That would mean compromise, that would mean flexibility, that would mean understanding the feelings and belief and needs of others. Can we do that? Can you?

Appreciate what others offer

A person expressing his or her gifts is simply that, a fellow human following their passion and giving of themselves to the world. You can accept it or not, but feel their heart. Feel their love of what they do. Do not let that be overshadowed by anything superficial that tempts you to bring yourself down to that lowest form of thinking – your opinion. Raise your sites and absorb the gifts others offer.

Think empathy. Think love. Think oneness.

Go beyond yourself and live in the other persons’ world.

Move from the self-serving world of opinion into the world-embracing place of empathy and see how your own world experience changes.

To Sing a Deeper Song consider:
We Are Part of a Larger Spiritual Order
What is Your Truth?
I Am You
Live in the Nowhere That You Came From
28 – How to Walk Beside Someone in Service
35—How to Hold the Space for Change.

What to Do When You Are Between Teachers

By

balance

I’ve outgrown my last teacher. My path has moving away from his. His lessons were profound and life-changing.

I watch for signs. I explore what shows up. I have strong inner urgings that show me where I’m going next.

But for this moment of being between teachers, I walk alone.

Allow time for an internal shift

This shift between teachers is gradual. Barely noticeable. One day you realize that what the teacher you’ve been following is offering is no longer what you need to know next.

It’s because the teacher has changed and you have changed. Your paths no longer merge.

We only walk together for part of our journey

The lovely thing about learning and growing is that everyone and everything changes – constantly. Our part is to be self aware, to observe our growth and figure out what we need next.

Who has come into your life recently? What new ideas are you considering that you hadn’t thought about a week ago? What do you need to learn next?

When you pause to look, you’ll see the fellow travelers you need in your life right now. These recently discovered fellow travelers may have walked beside you for such a short part of your journey you almost didn’t notice them. But they’re there and their impact is profound.

Be patient. Let your teacher emerge

The core books I study have more to share with me. As I read, I pulled out phrases that resonated and called for more in-depth exploration.

Now, each day, I return to those phrases and look at them from my here and now to see what new lesson they hold. Teachers are everywhere when we open ourselves up to their wisdom.

I’m being called to delve deeper into my spirituality, to identify the concepts and figure out how to bring them into my daily life. I have no doubt it’s where I am to go next and that it will be immensely rewarding.

I don’t know exactly what shape it will take but I’m excited about the journey. There’s not just one teacher, there are many. I have to be open and receptive and recognize them.

Trust the perfect guidance will emerge

When you’re between teachers, trust. Trust that you’re indeed ready for a change. Trust that the right teacher will appear at the perfect time. Trust that whatever urges and insights you are getting are exactly what you need to explore and consider right now.

Your teacher may not be a person

Your teacher may be even a circumstance. It may be a situation you find yourself in. It may be a life lesson that only persistence and determination will allow you to learn.

As your own awareness deepens and you become more immersed in your journey, you need to find new people to walk alongside you. You may need an expert who can show you the next steps. You may need someone who could benefit from your help so that you develop your own strength and leadership skills.

How do you find fellow travelers who are going in more or less the same direction you’re going? How can you help them? How will they help you? What is the source of your next lesson?

Follow your intuition

Part of your journey may be about making some decisions and exploring the consequences.

For instance, I’m a metaphysician in the mid-west of the United States. I’m a philosophical explorer in a senior community. I’m an introvert. I need to be careful of isolation and loneliness. I’m pretty certain the only teacher I have for that particular lesson is going to be me – my observations – my choices.

I have to pay attention to the insights and urges that simply show up. A Skype call to a fellow explorer is immensely nourishing. An email exchange offers insights and encouragement for both of us.

Valued exchanges of support, friendship and wisdom unfold in my life. I don’t know what else or who else will show up to teach me, so I simply stay open and aware.

Allow yourself to be pulled in directions you never considered

The awesome part of exploring is that you truly don’t know where you’ll end up. Become aware of the subtle shifts that occur in your life. Explore the ideas that pop into your head. Be open. Try stuff out. Choose.

I recently worked though a life lesson that required much perseverance on my part. The lesson was about how to keep moving forward when the going forward becomes challenging.

It was a simple lesson around my desire to self-publish two books. But at every turn there was something new to learn. It became overwhelming. The lesson was in how I learned to handle that overwhelm, how I moved around the barrier and continued forward.

The end result is that once I own these techniques, once I’m comfortable within these new programs, there’s an abundance of new projects that I can create and offer. My world has expanded because of what I learned – about persistence and taking one small and consistent step at a time.

Explore new teachers

Who inspires you? Who offers insights that make you think? As you grow and change you have to go find new inspiration.

Sometimes that’s as easy as simply wanting a new teacher to show up. Other times you have to acknowledge that you’re looking for a new teacher and pay attention to who and what appears.

Whose blog makes you think? Are there people on TED you should listen to? What podcasts are out there just waiting to motivate and inspire you? Who is making videos you need to see?

Notice who inspires you. Be aware of what you’re learning and from whom. Those are guidelines to your next teacher.

Be open to a variety of teachers

There won’t be just one teacher – there will be several. And these teachers will have different impacts on your life. One teacher may offer a single short, life-changing lesson. Another may walk along beside you for a while. Your part is to recognize that person as a teacher and to be willing to receive the lesson they offer.

Be open. Do a little searching. And when the time is right, the perfect teachers will appear.

To Sing a Deeper Song consider:

How Chris Brogan Changed My Life
Are You Too Old to Change?
Why I Love Being a Freak
How to Make Time to Learn
How Are You Harvesting Your Crop?
5 Ways to Gain Clarity
How to Deepen Your Calling
The Reward is in the Journey
The Power of Exploring the Unknown
34- Use Labels to Expand Your Possibilities
20 – Why Are You in Service?
21 – How to Share a Piece of Your Soul

The Power of Exploring the Unknown

By

space-1

The unknown can be scary. It can also be exciting and inspiring. My project was to self-publish two ebooks. As I pushed my way deeper into the unfamiliar parts of that experience, I recognized apprehension, confusion, and uncertainty, along with determination and the belief in success. That’s a lot to get from a little ebook project.

Go where you have not gone before

There’s great value in tackling something new, in pushing yourself into the unknown in order to accomplish a specific goal.

My goal was to get my ebook up on iTunes and Kindle. Writing the books was easy compared to the technical steps to get them up there – because those steps were unknown. I had put books up before but it was a long time ago. This promised to be a new adventure.

Learn what you did not know before

I decided to use Scrivener, a program that was new to me. So step one of my adventure was to figure out a new software program. I used my “20-minute lesson” technique to take the tutorials and gradually master the program.

But I had to download two new programs to review the book on. And then learn those. Yet another barrier.

I had to make decisions about pricing and the text that explains what the book is about.

The deeper I went, the less I knew.

But I persisted and I learned.

The unfamiliar became the familiar.

Exploration strengthens your determination to succeed

The way to move forward is to put one foot in front of the other. You need to be willing to go where you haven’t gone before. You have to be a bit adventurous. Most of all, you have to be determined to succeed.

I wanted so much to get those books up that I kept learning one new step after another. Even when I found there was yet another step to take, I slogged on. Reaching my destination was important. The journey expanded my personal awareness, my insights and the honing of my skills.

Discover opportunities you never dreamed of

I know that once I complete this journey, I’ll have a whole new vista to consider. I’ll think of many more books to write, many more ways to use the programs I’ve learned. I’ll see connections I hadn’t seen before and know that they are now within my power to make.

What is the next journey you need to take?

This was a physical-plane journey that I needed and wanted to take. But there are personal journeys I want to embark on. I’m an introvert who could expand her socializing skills. Although I’m now 83, I believe I can still learn new ways to keep strong and fit. I am a philosophical explorer who is going deeper.

What’s your next journey? Is it a small hike, a camping trip or a major undertaking?

Whatever the size of your journey, there’s much learning and great power in exploring the unknown.

To Sing a Deeper Song consider:
Unleash the Power of The 20 Minute Lesson
Is Everything You Know Still True
Are you in the Right Room?
Engage in the Power of Trust 
Fitting In Is Not What You Do To Be Extraordinary
How to Develop Your Distinctive Voice
31-How to Cultivate The Power of Simplicity
30 – The No Plan Plan