Cara Lumen | Sing a Deeper Song

Sing a Deeper Song

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If The Shoe No Longer Fits

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natural-entrepreneurI’ve lost a lot of weight – 33 pounds. It took a while and there is more to go, but I’m two sizes smaller. I’ve been able to give away many of my clothes because they no longer fit. Here’s what happened when I resolved never to return to that size again.
 

I stopped settling for second best

 
It was so hard for me to buy clothes when I was heavier that I used to buy something just because I could get into it. How often do we accept second best because we don’t have the energy or time or will to hold out until we get the very best? What have you incorporated into your life that no longer serves your highest good?  What has changed that has altered your perception of what you want and need? Expect the best.  Do not settle for second best.
 

I got to rethink how I want to show up in the world

 
Who am I now? What do I represent? How do I feel about myself? What does that look like now?  I replaced only a few clothes because I’m going to lose more weight, but I chose those clothes carefully and consciously. Everything I bought was chosen to help me show up in the world exactly as I meant to – as the authentic me. Are you showing up in your life the way you want and need to? Look at yourself in the mirror of your friends and clients.  Do they see you as you what you want them to see you?
 

I began dressing to please myself

 
Way back when I was raising children I used to dress for disaster – old clothes that would allow me to mop up, pick up or do anything that needed doing. However, I am no longer raising children – they are raising their own – so why do I continue to dress for disaster?  That look translated itself into baggy sweats – old baggy sweats that were frayed around the cuffs. But hey, I’m a deserving person. I like myself. I get to dress for myself.  Maybe I go a whole day with no one seeing me but I see me as I pass by the mirror and I am dressed for success – at home success to be sure – but it’s no longer a dumpy I-don’t- care-about-myself look. It’s a busy home-based entrepreneur look.  What  old patterns are you unconsciously holding on to? What needs to change?
 

I lightened up

 
This was huge. I gave away a mountain of clothes – clothes that should have gone the way of the haven’t-worn-them-in-three-years path. I gave away box after box of stored clothing. My remaining clothes can actually hang without being crammed up against each other. But the lightness I feel personally is indescribable. It’s as if a huge weight has lifted, a chain has been cut, and a path has been cleared. What do you need to release so there is room to expand in the direction you want to go?
 

I passed things forward

 
How lovely to put those clothes back in service – to pass them forward to brighten someone else’s life. Whether I donated to the Battered Women’s Shelter or the Thrift Store that cares for feral cats, these clothes will do what they are meant to do and be with who they are meant to be with. They pass forward into new service. What can you pass forward in your life that will put it back in more active service?
 

I feel free to move forward

 
I can move now. I am no longer held down by my past. And by cutting the ties to what no longer fits or suits me I am free to move forward.  With each bag I hauled to my car to give away, with each empty hanger left in my closet, my sprit got lighter and freer. I feel excited and full of promise. I feel invigorated and energized. I feel free to move forward. When space is cleared, you have more time – more time for thought, more time for action, and more time for growth. 
 

I feel strengthened

 
I have resolved not to every return to that larger size. I simply won’t do it. I have started to smile at myself when I pass the mirror and wink at how healthy and self-confident and yes, attractive I look and feel. And all of this was because I let go of what no longer works for me. I let go of what is no longer needed or wanted in my life.
 
This is not an article about losing weight.  It is an article about making changes and letting go.  What no longer serves you? What have you outgrown? What person or repeated action in your life or your business needs to be released? What old habits are you ready to give up? What shoe no longer fits that you can give away…
 
 

 

The Remarkable Relief of Unsubscribing

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take-it-easyIt took less than four minutes to unsubscribe from 17 mailing lists.  What followed was an immediate sense of relief from the overwhelming demand of reading emails many times during the day. Was it a matter of working up the nerve, or the final one-too-many emails that sent me over the edge?  Whatever the cause, the relief was immediate and the freedom it provides continues to open up new opportunities. 

I kept thinking I would read them

 
I had subscribed to these blogs and newsletters over the years because I thought I wanted or needed the information they provided.  However, because I had no filter system, the number grew and grew. There came a time when I found myself overwhelmed.  I couldn’t possibly read that many emails every day. What did I really want to read?  Who brought the most value through their posts?  Which ones were the most relevant to my current needs and plans?
 
When I realized I was deliberately deleting around 50 emails a day that I had no intention of reading I decided to act. Rather than beat myself up for not reading all those emails I could simply unsubscribe to those that no longer met my needs.  If I’m not reading them, I don’t need them.  If I find I need more information in the future, I can Google what I’m looking for and fresh, current information will show up. 
 
One other important realization appeared.  I had simply outgrown the content.  Either I already knew how to do what they were describing or I had eliminated it from my consideration.
 

What will you read?

The question was, what do I need in my life now and what have I outgrown or no longer holds my interest? I examined my reading habits. At the core were six sources that meet my core needs that I take time to read or at least open and browse daily. 
 
That allows me room to add some special interest blogs that add to my areas of interest.
 

My interests have changed

 
The next level of unsubscribing took some careful thought.  There are some people I will continue to follow because they have developed in new directions that interest me.  However, the basic how-to-blog providers are targeting beginning bloggers.  That’s no longer where I fit in.  I can consider unsubscribing to them. It’s inevitable that you will have outgrown some of the bloggers you follow or you have mastered what they teach.  Even though they are doing good work, you don’t have to keep subscribing to their emails.  Be selective in what you keep and what you add.
 
The bottom line is that interests change. For the most part, I have learned what I need to know from a majority of the blogs I was following.  I did keep one or two blogs that are aligned with my business interest in helping people develop information products. I kept the blogs I had recently added that reflect my current interests and satisfy my insatiable passion for learning.  I kept blogs on vegetarianism (Summer Tomato  and Vegan Coach  ), natural living  , aromatherapy and Zen living . I’m aware that some of these are current interests and they, too, will need to be unsubscribed to at some point.  However, for now I have whittled down my list to emails that interest me and that I have time to read every day.
 
What are your criteria for keeping a blog?  Which ones are you actually reading?  Which authors make you think?  Or get you excited?  Follow those and unsubscribe to the rest.  If you don’t read a newsletter, you don’t need it. 
 

Unsubscribing opens up new learning time

 
I turned my freed-up on-line time into Discovery Time.  I used the extra time I used to spend deleting those unread emails every day to explore more about a specific topic or learn some new skills. Get on Google and start typing in keywords. You may choose to explore what others are doing in your field, you may find yourself moved by a personal development concept you want to add to your life, or you may seek to develop a new skill set.  It’s all there waiting for you. Use your freed up e-mail reading time to go exploring wherever your curiosity leads you.
 

You may feel lonely

 
When the results of unsubscribing to so many RSS feeds first kicked in, I felt a little lonely.  Checking my emails three or four times a day felt like I was connecting with people.  But the truth is, if I didn’t read them there was really no connection. 
 
I realized how often I had been checking my email every day. With the lessened number of in-coming emails I found that when I did check I was no longer overwhelmed by the sheer volume.  I am relieved that I am no longer deluged with sales pitches.  I do not feel guilty when I don’t take time to read a post. What I do subscribe to I enjoy reading. Be patient with yourself. Lowering your email intake is freeing.  See what new connections you have made room for in your life.
 

Give yourself a week

 
Start unsubscribing today.  Watch your emails every day for a week.  Unsubscribe to everything you don’t read.  In two days I had whittled my emails down to a more manageable and comfortable size. I was amazed how much lighter I felt.  There were no more feelings of being overwhelmed, or wasting time reading emails. I am now subscribed only to people who inspire and motive me and give me the specific information I need for my business today.
 

Review your subscriptions quarterly.

 
I know I’m going to build my list again as I go exploring and find new people to follow.  However, I have resolved to review my emails every quarter.  What do I need now?  What have a learned that I no longer need to learn about?  What new interests do I have?  I will go through this same process of unsubscribing every three months.  Emails are meant to inform and entertain and make you think.  Get rid of those that don’t. The process of unsubscribing is incredibly freeing.

 

What Happens If You Lighten Up

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One simple change can become like an echo bouncing off the walls of canyon.  Where do you need to make changes in your life and what will happen if you do?
 
I asked my son-in-law for a start of a schefflera plant.  What he gave me were five small starts in one pot.  Now one schefflera in the house can get up to four feel and outside it can grow into a tree but I took the pot and put it in my collection of houseplants.  It got rather bushy. 
 
One day I transplanted those five starts into separate pots.  Some had grown crooked because of the crowding.  I staked those to help them straighten up.  Others had more growth on one side than the other, again because of having been planted so closely.  The growth of the plants had been hampered by their crowded condition. That’s one outstanding reason for lightening up – creating room for balanced expansion and growth.  However, it’s what happened to the space that was left behind that caught my attention.
 
Once I removed that one big plant and replaced it with just one of the transplanted scheffleras the whole plant corner transformed.  It became more balanced. You could see the other plants.  You could appreciate them for their uniqueness and their individual conformation.  You could admire the planters I had chosen. 
 
All because I modified one area that was overcrowded.
 

What is crowded in your life?

 The perk is not only a more impactful plant corner but now I have four repotted individual plants in other parts of the room to give me  additional pleasure.  I can even give some of the transplants away as gifts.
 
So I looked at my life to see what was crowded and what I could “transplant.”
 
I recently gave away some books and now use the empty bookshelves to display some of the put-abouts that have meaning to me.  With that cleared space, I created small scenarios of items that give me pleasure.  I gave them space to breathe. I gave them space to be seen.
 
My closet now has more room for the clothes I enjoy wearing since I gave away some and packed seasonal items away.  My kitchen has been downsized and now contains only what I need to cook for myself.
 
I’m even looking at my friends to see who I’d like to see more of and which friends are dragging me down. I’m looking for new activities to share with the friends that nourish me.
 

How can you unclutter your business?

 A quarterly reality check is vital to the mental health of your business.  You get to look at what is meaningful for both you and your clients.  You can look at the tasks and situations that are frustrating you and noticing what gives you joy to do.  With planning, you can clear out chunks of time to complete a favorite project.  You can move stuff around and give things away. You can let go of some of your responsibly and hire some help in order to free yourself up for the things only you can do.
 
The serenity that is left when an area is uncluttered is palpable.  Each item that is left can be clearly seen and appreciated.  Each person that you actively choose to be with deepens your experience.
 
A friend who redid her kitchen took everything out and then only brought back in those items that were needed.  What would happen if you let go of everything in your life and only brought back in what was meaningful and relevant to your present yearnings.
 
© 2012 Cara Lumen

  

Where Are You Looking?

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close-lookWhere you look to see how you are doing or where you want to go is very revealing.  How you reference your progress dictates the outcome you will generate. 
 

Are you looking ahead?

Are you caught up in the “what if’s?”  What is the worst that can happen?  How can we be prepared for this situation or that situation?  Do you start looking ahead with fear or apprehension?  Are you not trying things because you fear the outcome?  Looking ahead can stop you in your tracks.
 

Are you looking to the side?

Are you busy comparing yourself to others?  Do you feel unsuccessful because someone you know seems to be doing better? Are you in a constant race with your peers to “get ahead”?  The only race you are running is with yourself.  You might get some ideas from others that you can adapt to your own unique style, but that very uniqueness will always keep you doing it your way, like no one else can. Don’t look for comparisons; enjoy being yourself.
 

Are you looking behind?

We often use how far we have come to measure our progress.  Sometimes that can feel good and other times not so much.  If you haven’t progressed, you will be discouraged.  If you have progressed, you might feel overwhelmed.  Look in the present to see if you are still doing what resonates.
 

The present holds the key

The ego wants us to plan.  We want control.  We want to make stuff happen.  But the best place to look for your next step is in the moment.  Keep your mind open and unstructured.  Become more aware of the signs and signals the Universe offers that show you new possibilities. How you feel in the moment, the opportunities and circumstances you find yourself in, the internal changes you have made as you live your life are powerful guidelines to the steps you could take next. See how you feel in the moment.  .  Notice what new ideas and opportunities have appeared. Focus on the problems you can actually impact.  Act on what you are internally urged to do in that moment.  Keep your eye on the qualities you want to have prominent in your life like love, kindness, serenity, contentment and make choices that honor your values like honesty, truthfulness, and service to others.
 
Don’t look ahead in anticipation.  Don’t look beside in comparison. Don’t look behind to measure progress.  Look inside, right now and move forward from there.
 
© 2012 Cara Lumen

  

How to Free the Logjam of Your Ideas

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padlockSometimes the need to make only one decision creates a log jam that holds you firmly in place.  Once that necessary decision is identified and you make your choice, it will free up all the other ideas you have blocked up behind it and you’ll be on your way.

The logjam decision for me was around pricing

I finished my latest ebook several weeks before I offered it because I had to decide on a price.  It’s really hard after months of work to not see your completed project as having great value.  I know the benefits they will receive from using my ideas.  I know how valuable my work is, but do others? I knew the ball park figure I just had to make a choice. Then I could set up my landing page and send the book on its way. With that one decision made and I was good to go.

The log jam was slow to unfold

I had been procrastinating so long over making that one pricing decision that it took me a few days to overcome the next minor log jam, the technical steps I needed to take to put the book online. It’s not hard to put a new ebook up on my web site and blogs; it just takes time and concentration. I had already been sitting on my new book for days trying to make the pricing decision and then I was faced with the technical steps of interconnecting all the parts of the delivery and promotion of the book. Between the time I finished the book and finally faced up to taking the technical steps I took a put-it-off detour.  I wrote the outline for my next book and had a great idea for a brand new book totally off my regular topic. Creating something new was so much more exciting than the mundane task of putting a completed project out the door. However, in the end the satisfaction of finally making that book available to others overcame my putting off tactics.  Give your logjam time to unfold.

Make a choice, any choice

There are all sorts of variations on a decision and the “rightness” of each one depends on where you are at the moment.  I picked a price.  That was the major log jam. I can always change it.  I can always bundle that book with others.  After I broke up that log jam I was free to take my next steps.  The desire to reach the end promised such great fulfillment that I set about putting the book up on my sites.  Make a choice, any choice.  It will free up that log jam and get you going.

Making a decision is freeing

It takes but a heartbeat to make a decision.  It doesn’t take much longer than that to put it into play.  What decisions are you putting off?  Why are you putting them off?  You can’t possibly know the long term repercussions of your decision; all you can know is what you need to do right now in order to move forward.  When I write a new ebook I make the decisions surrounding it based on what I know at the moment and what my target community needs from me at the moment.  Those same choices may not hold true a year from now but by then I’ll have written and published my book.

One decision will eliminate idea clutter

Every time we make a decision that idea clutter falls away and we are left with a clearer picture of what we want to create. I’m writing a series of 12 ebooks in my How to Craft series.  I also am interested in creating a new telecourse.  For a while I considered doing both.  It would mean a lot of work.  It would mean a delay in the completion of the series.  I had to make a choice.  I had to observe the difference between my personal priority and my business priority.  Since having fun and enjoying what I do is a high priority, I chose to let the teleclass show up when I’m ready to focus on it and I will continue to work on completing the ebook series.  It was a relief to let go of that second idea for awhile.  I’m still going to do it I just don’t have a date.  I will keep collecting ideas and resources, of course, and put them in a file so that when I am ready for that project I’ll have a great head start.  But meanwhile I’ll focus on the choice at hand.   Choose the project size that works for here and now and make it happen.
Where is your logjam?  What decision do you need to make that will release those stuck ideas that will set you free to send those ideas off to market?
© 2011 Cara Lumen
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