Cara Lumen | Sing a Deeper Song

Sing a Deeper Song

choice

The 50/50 Split

By

split heart 2

50/50 is about as even as it gets. Half see it one way, the other half doesn’t. Half want one thing, the other half want something else.

And yet.

Here we are. One world. One country. One outcome.

Here in the US, we have the opportunity to mirror to the rest of the world how to honor diversity.

And none of us knows exactly how to do that.

People who hadn’t been listening or understanding what was going on with half of our country finally hear. They don’t know what to do with it, but it’s very evident that some aid is needed — some change.

People who worked hard to obtain rights for they way they chose to live are in fear that what they have accomplished may be taken away.

And here we are with a 50/50 split.

MAJOR understanding is vital. HUGE compromise is necessary

That means we will not get our own way. There must be compromise in order to honor and include our diversity. It means that we must become really, really earnest in understanding why the other person feels so adamantly, what their fears are and we must try to understand these fears and address them.

That takes huge skill. That takes statesmanship, not political sides. That takes choosing for the highest good for all.

LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN

Before you judge, listen. Before you make a decision, consider it from several viewpoints. And take yourself out of the mix while you do. Put yourself in the shoes of the other person, their fears, their longings, their needs. We are similar but not exactly the same. We each add depth and value to the mix. Cherish and honor that. In each person.

Protect yourself or walk away

I make a conscious choice to walk away from negativity, anger, discrimination, and mean-spiritedness. But there’s a line in the sand where I will turn and fight.

You need to measure carefully before you draw your line in the sand.

A line in the sand, to me, involves certain core values that I will not compromise. Not beliefs, not habits, not wishes and wants, but core values.

Openness to change is high on my list of qualities I value. Life is a constant series of cycles. Change is constant, although it can be uncomfortable to live with.

I don’t relate well to people who refuse to change, or won’t even consider change. Of course, change brings fear. Adapting to change takes determination and willingness. Not everyone can do that. I have to be patient with those who deny change.

Live and let live. The more specifically focused my beliefs and interests become, the more I’m alone on my path. That’s why the idea of leaving lots of room for people to be who they need to be is high on my list. Take care of your own life. Let others do the same. People in a position to make rules and regulations need to weigh carefully the reasons for their decisions. Live and let live if you can.

I value a deepening spiritual practice. That should have been first on this list of core values but I got caught up in living in the outer world. People who spend time in some version of spiritual contemplation and exploration have a strong foundation to stand on and build upon. Your spiritual foundation is uniquely yours. As is theirs. Honor that. Honor the spiritual path of every other person.

Those who build on their spiritual insights work to become mindful and inclusive. We have a variety of practices that deepen our awareness of the core fact that We Are One. The stronger your spiritual base, the more connected you will feel with others — regardless of how different they seem.

How do I honor the 50/50 split?

Begin within. Look at the labels and prejudices you have in your own life. Examine them for the human story, the basic need, the similarities.

Listen to the stories. What is at the core of the other person’s action? Fear, need, belief? Don’t judge. Listen and work to understand. Hear what is not being said.

Question your own beliefs. I’ve already caught myself in two generalized labels that were absolutely wrong. When you find yourself labeling a group of people, look carefully at what that means to you. What do you fear? What don’t you understand? Where did your belief originate? Become more conscious of the beliefs that are driving you, reexamine them and choose again from your more enlightened present consciousness.

Approach everyone with deepening respect

We’re all many variations on the theme of being human. We’re all born and we’ll all die. We all make choices and live with the results. Our choices differ. Our outcomes differ. Our gifts differ. Our passion differs. And yet we begin at the same place — our humanness. Feel that. Know that. Start with our sameness as a place to heal and connect.

Find the balance

No one will get it exactly his or her way. Whether you’re a leader at your work, or the CEO of your home, or a single person trying to figure out life, find the balance between what you believe and what others believe, and work to find a middle ground.

Be inclusive

Don’t dismiss those who disagree with you. Don’t dismiss those from different backgrounds and experience. Don’t dismiss those with different skills and talents. Don’t dismiss anyone. Be inclusive. Be aware of their humanness. Know that they’re doing what they can with the circumstances they have created for themselves. Accept their incredible and beautiful uniqueness.

Change your thinking

As we mindfully move toward acceptance and consideration for “the other half”, know that all of the work begins within each one of us. When you change within, your reflection in the world changes, and others respond differently. Drop your anger. Release your fear. Expand your empathy. Listen. Be inclusive.

We have a great deal of work to do to address our 50/50 split and we can only do it together.

To Sing a Deeper Song consider:
Everyone Walks the Same Path
I Am You
You Are All-That-Is
The Creation of an Armchair Activist
How to Use our Interconnection to Heal the World
How to Activate a Tree Messenger to Send Your Healing Energy Out Into The World
How Labels Dehumanize Us

What Do You Do When You Feel Stuck?

By

cloudy sky depressed

When you’re depressed you feel stuck, unable to find your way out and, most of all, unwilling to even make an effort. You’re unwilling to change, unwilling to try something new, unwilling to look at possibilities. But you can get yourself out of depression simply by looking around.

How stuck are you?

Often the depression part comes when you feel stuck and have absolutely no idea what you want and need to get yourself unstuck. The not-knowing is so huge that you don’t even try. So how can you move out of that?

Remember that life moves in cycles

There’s no way you can stay stuck because the natural flow of life is in cycles. You’re always changing. Sometimes not happily so, but nevertheless you are always changing. So the good news is: however stuck you feel, however depressed you are, life is a moving process and it will change.

Identify the cause of your stuck-ness

Look to find what’s missing in your life. It may be encouragement, it may be a focus for your work, it may be some genuine downtime that you need for recuperation and regrouping.

I certainly have gone through periods of not-doing because my body had been pushed and truly needed to rest. Give yourself permission to goof off. Listen to those natural, organic reasons for feeling stuck, for not being willing to tackle anything new.

Wait for the cycle to change

I’m writing this now because I’m watching myself move through a period of unwillingness to do any of the things I could do. However, because I allow my life to unfold, I’m being patient with the cycle, this whatever-it-is.

And I don’t know what’s missing. I don’t know what steps to take to help myself move forward. What can I do, how shall I move forward when I really want to stand still?

My body will show me the way

I can wait for my inner wisdom to give me a sign as long as I don’t wallow in this whatever-it-is. That means I have to be willing to consider change, to consider next steps. To look closely at what and why I’m resisting.

Fear is not the cause of this stagnation. I just pushed my way through months of learning new programs that would take me to my next step.

Fatigue is not the cause. I’ve just taken it easy for the last few days.

Discouragement is not the cause. I have fabulous projects at various stages of completion. I’m on the right track and it’s working well.

Uncertainty about my direction is not the cause. I’m very clear about what I want to say, who I want to say it to and how I want to offer it to the people I serve.

Something is changing

There is some change happening deep within me and it simply needs some time. Something at my core is changing and it’s too subtle for me to recognize. It could be a need. It could be a new direction that hasn’t yet been made clear. Whatever is changing is still changing and it isn’t time for me yet to know what it is or what to do.

And so I wait.

I could go exploring

Even if I sit here like an owl, turning my head first one way and then the other, it only commits me to looking, not moving. You know how nature moves in cycles. There’s no particular date for a bud to bloom or a leaf to drop. Nature just hangs out in the moment and things happen. Could I be like nature and just be in the moment?

From my owl position I do not want to move. I’m full up of exploring new ideas, or digging deep within myself to find answers that I then share with others. Sitting here looking around is a big enough move for me right now.

What if this inability to move forward is not about what I have, but that it’s about what’s missing? How do I identify what’s missing – how do I start doing that?

The exploration for the missing piece

For me, the missing piece is interaction with more upbeat, interesting people who are passionately moving along their own paths. I already have a few such people in my life. Do I need more or do I simply need to interact more frequently with the ones that I have? Or is it simply time to wait for life to unfold – to evolve – to emerge?

Wait your way out of stuck-ness

I definitely have good stuff going on in my life. I love what I do, I share with people and I know when I make a difference. I’m using my skills and acquiring more.

But in this particular moment there’s stillness.

There’s waiting. There’s patience. There’s unclarity. And most of all there’s no need to do anything except watch.

Feel your way out of stuck-ness

The more I keep tuned into my own feelings, the more easily I’ll recognize the answer when it appears. The more I honor my own inner nudges and make it OK to read, or look out a window, or whatever seems to call to me, the more balanced I become and the more aligned with my passion and purpose.

Notice your rhythm

Maybe you’ve been pushing yourself too fast or too hard and suddenly you simply need to pause and regroup. The change in rhythm can be misconstrued as stuck-ness, when, in fact, it can simply be self-healing. Small changes in rhythm are absorbable. The large swings are more noticeable and can be misinterpreted as stuck-ness.

I will wait for the change to happen

But I won’t wait too long. There comes a point when a person has to cut bait – let it all go and just move forward. One foot in front of the other, one task completed, another begun.

When I start to move, even with the smallest of steps, I’ll acknowledge that particular victory. Even writing this article is a victory – I’m exploring what I think and feel about being stuck, about being dispirited and trying to figure a way to get myself to move forward. And I’m sharing what I discover with you.

Depressed means gloomy, glum, sad, unhappy, melancholy, dejected. Each one of those words is not something I want to be. And actually, I’m none of those. But I am a little off balance. I’m a little unmotivated. I have a lot of “I-don’t-want-to’s” showing up.

And so I wait

I make mind maps with pencil and paper to uncover my unconscious concerns and capture them in a form I can see. I wrote this post to figure out what I think. And I wait. I’m waiting for me to change just as my life continues to change.

And I trust

I trust the cycles. I trust my own evolution. I trust my perpetual enthusiasm, which seems to be taking a rest. I wait. And I act on whatever willingness comes up.

And let that lead me on to the next step.

And the next.

One step at a time. One small change at a time – back to happiness and fulfillment.

To Sind a Deeper Song Consider:

The Power in a Ceremony of Releasing
Live Like Water
Stoking the Fire Within
What if You Broke the Mold?
How Do You Define Success?
47 – Empower Your Feminine
45-How to Become a Mindful Presence

Three Key Things I learned from Seth Godin

By

Keys three

Sometimes figuring out how to serve and who to serve is a little more complicated that we thought it would be. Not only is it tricky to make the original decision but we also have to keep adjusting because we change, the people we serve change and our personal goals change.

In a recent Seth Godin interview on a Tim Ferris podcast I came away with three major concepts that will immediately help you focus your place of service.

What does success mean to you?

It’s easy to get into numbers, money, lists, or units sold in order to define our success. But Seth says, “a win is to change one person, teach one person, impact one person.”

Wow! That really personalizes the effort. That allows you to feel the length of your own reach, and to understand how you impact others with your work.

One person. Change. Teach. Impact. That’s success.

What’s the change you’re seeking in the world?

This is huge. Have you thought about this? Have you imagined how your work can change the world? What do you want to happen because of what you do or say or offer? What specific people do you want to affect?

I had to work on this one. I know what I want to do – help people sing a Deeper Song. The change I’m seeking for us is a deeper awareness of our inner voice so that our choices fully express our passion and our gifts in unexpected and far-reaching ways.

I want to go exploring in the spiritual realm and share some of the insights, ideas and concepts that call to me and guide me. And I also want to help the people I serve have the confidence and willingness to share their wisdom and uniqueness with others in the world in an impactful manner. I want them to sing their Deeper Song loudly and harmoniously in our world.

Knowing that is the change I want to see in the world, I can now make thoughtful choices about what I write in my posts, what I say in my podcasts, the focus of my videos and the message of my ebooks. But I must keep in mind that my goal is to help one person see the world from a different viewpoint, take one step past the edges she has set for herself, understand and appreciate her value and know that her wisdom and expertise and experience must be shared.

Learning that the Incas believed our lives affect seven generations back and seven generation forward has prompted me to take my own work more seriously. Seven generations forward is a lot of people to change or inspire or teach with the work we do today. That’s a couple of centuries into the future. And that’s a big responsibility. We need to do our work consciously and well. And we need to put our work out there for others to find.

Your story helps others want to learn from you

Seth again: “Your brand is a story you tell that helps people tell themselves a story about you. Your story needs to match what they are telling themselves about what they are doing.”

You might need to read that one again. What are they doing? What do you do for them? How do you let them know that? What story do you tell about yourself so that others know you are exactly who they need to help them?

People have to identify with you. They probably want someone who has similar interests, similar life situations, similar beliefs. And they probably want someone who is a few steps ahead of them in the journey or has experienced the steps they need to take next. They need a teacher or mentor who understands what they need even if they don’t understand that yet. They need someone to light the way.

My story is about my journey. I think other people are on similar versions of their own and in some places I’m a few steps ahead.

It’s partially a story of aging – about staying relevant, having a purpose, and making a difference even when you’re old.

It’s about not giving up. It’s about leaving a legacy. It’s about valuing your own wisdom and experience to the extent that you purposefully and mindfully leave a message for generations to come.

It’s a story of a spiritually inquisitive woman who is drawn to Rumi, to Emerson, to Taoism, and to metaphysics. She explores spiritual philosophy, figures out how to apply the ideas that resonate with her life, and shares what she uncovers.

That makes us explorers together – searching for clues, making discoveries, trying new routes and leaving markers for others along the way.

What’s the change you want to make in the community?

The idea of making change in your community puts what you do into a very large perspective. My community is all over the world. The world needs a lot of help right now. Who do I want to help? How do I want to help them?

Bring it back to one person. How can I, sitting here in my apartment in the middle of the United States, produce one small project or do one small act that’ll help one person change and who’ll then turn and change someone else?

What’s the change I want to make in my world community?

The Long Cut

Rather than taking a short cut, Seth says: “Long cut is the most direct route to get where you want to go. What does this community need? How do I do a kind of work that matters that is identified with only me? That only I can do?’”

The beautiful part is that we are all unique. The tricky part is that we don’t always identify what makes us unique and how we can use it to help others. Know yourself. Recognize your passion and your gifts, and follow them!

Back to changing one person. Who do you want to help? How do you want to help them? What can only you do for them?

Seth suggests we keep our projects small. If you look at every project you undertake as making a change in one person in your community, then it becomes a very precise doable, deliverable project.

Push your boundaries to find your place of service

Identify what you love to do. Decide on the change you want to make in others. Take that idea out to the edges of your consciousness and explore.

How can you, in your infinite uniqueness, define a product or service that some very special people need, that’ll make a difference in their lives?

Go do that.

To Sing a Deeper Song consider:

The Length of Your Reach
The Many Faces of Your Calling
Mindfulness as a Path to Self-Awareness
How Do You Nurture “Different”
What Do You Do for People That They Can’t Get Elsewhere?
40 – Who Do yo Want to Serve?
32 – How to See Your Work As Art

Take Time to Explore Your Talents

By

Dancer

There are big “in-your-face” talents that sweep you along with them. And there are gentle, subtle talents that will add great meaning to your life once you uncover them.

What are your in-your-face talents?

I’ve been writing since I was the editor of my high-school newspaper. It was an interest and skill I’ve used in many forms in my life – copywriter for radio and television, a variety of organizational newsletters, ebooks, posts. Writing is how I sort myself out, how I figure out how to apply interesting concepts to my life. It’s how I share my ideas with others. It’s an ingrained part of me.

A major talent often shows up as a skill that’s so easy to use that it doesn’t even seem special. You may have no idea that not everyone can do it or that you are particularly good at it.

Music, art, mathematics, logistics, organizing, leadership, connecting with people, nurturing others, enthusiastic participation in whatever you do – these are some of the ways your major talent is recognizable.

What are your subtle talents?

It was always clear that I’m a good organizer. What took me years to figure out, though, was that I’m also a good organizer of ideas. I can see the overview, the complex, and explain it to others in easy-to-understand terms. That is an obvious talent with a subtle use.

My enthusiasm is a gift. It’s infectious. It’s also inspiriting, because it helps me get a lot done. Who would have thought of enthusiasm as a talent!

You may have a physical attribute that’s a talent

It turns out that people like my speaking voice, so I enjoy using it in videos and podcasts.

Take a moment to look for the subtle gifts and talents that you might find more ways to use.

Make your talent distinctive

Finding how to make my writing distinctive took some time and practice. Now I automatically think in the subhead style for a post. It’s how I organize my thoughts. It’s how I share my ideas. It’s my distinctive version of writing. And it simply evolved.

How many ways can you use your talents? Because I write like I talk, it’s easy to create narrative podcast scripts. My ability to organize ideas allows me to see connections and curate pieces of posts into the backbone of a new ebook. My enthusiasm keeps me exploring new platforms – like videos and audiobooks.

Look at your talents and find other venues where you can use them.

Explore your talents

When you find a little-used talent or desire, go exploring. I’m not a particularly good artist, but in my senior year in college I had space for some electives and I took two art courses – 5-minute sketching and composition. Though I wasn’t very good at composition, I got an A in the sketching class simply because I went from stick figures to a decent quick sketch.

I have taken other art courses along the line – Chinese brush painting being a favorite. There’s something magical about taking a blank space and filing it with your imagination, whether this is through drawing, or writing, or composing music.

Explore different media and see what new experiences, opportunities and insights appear.

Use your talent as a conduit to your soul

When you use your talent enough so it becomes second nature, the next step is to make room for the flow of your unconscious. I used to be surprised at what showed up as I typed. It felt like it was coming from outside myself. Now I know it comes from deep inside, from my thoughts, my interpretations, my soul.

Practice your talent until it becomes only the vehicle for your innermost expression.

What talent would you like to explore?

As long as it’s something creative, as long as I can explore what calls to me and interpret what I discover, the conduit doesn’t really matter. I’ve started to record an audiobook because I know I have the skill set for that. I’ve done lots of courses, but not with as many videos as I want to now. I’m a spiritual philosopher and I want to explore what that means to me and discover new ways to express it. I’m also a mapmaker because I explain to others what I figure out.

Look at what you’re already doing. Look at what talent you’d love to expand, and go exploring. Take some classes. Simply go practice whatever it is. Give thought to how you’ll bring that talent into your life. And just do it.

To Sing a Deeper Song consider:

What to Do When You Are Between Teachers
Lose Your Attachment to the Outcome
The Art of Mastery
Your Art Must Originate Within Yourself
How to Develop Your Distinctive Voice

35—How to Hold the Space for Change.
34- Use Labels to Expand Your Possibilitieses
32 – How to See Your Work As Art

Just Because You Can

By

Gol medal

Years ago at a PTA meeting I figured out that just because I could do every job there didn’t mean I should. And it turns out that the same holds true today. The Bright Shiny Objects are much too intriguing and somehow I need to make a choice.

The more you know, the more opportunities there are

I can now efficiently produce a podcast from start to finish. I have the self-publishing process figured out. I’ve been blogging for fifteen years. That alone should keep me busy. And then there are videos. I’ve only done a few, but a recent webinar gave me ideas for how and why I should do a ton more. Learning opened new doors.

Choose to learn

I love to learn. So the mere process of exploring and mastering a new technique is stimulating. But I could also take what I know and get better at using it. It doesn’t always have to be about starting from scratch. If learning is your stimulation of choice, notice how far afield it takes you and then bring yourself back. Make something happen with what you know.

Make a choice because it’s your best way to do the job

A friend is beginning a new business. As we worked our way through the methods, blog posts, networking, courses, coaching, it turns out that writing in a conversational tone is not in her skill set. But she is very comfortable talking. So the choice was obvious, turn to videos to connect with people. Use your unique skills to accomplish what you set out to do.

What is the most fun to do?

We get to have fun in our business. Why else are we doing it if not to grow ourselves along with those we serve. When I did my first video I had a blast and then I remembered – I have two degrees in theater, of course I would like doing that. But I also like a whole lot of other things. And therein lies a problem for me.

What gives you the most return on time invested?

Certain things only you can do. Other things you can hire someone else to do. What is it that only you can do, and are you making time to do it?

There are just so many hours in the day. You have to make some choices about how you spend your time. I block my week off in broad areas of focus – a day to write, a day to do videos, a day to do podcasts. And I still have to be careful not to run out of days!

How can you best focus your time? What does that produce? How effective is it?

Find balance

Learning is great, it opens new doors. Doing is rewarding, it adds to your expertise. Results are the cumulation of your learning and doing. Consciously cut back on what you promised so that you have time to learn, to create and to enjoy the process. Don’t do it just because you can. Pick and choose what’s the most fun and the most effective. Then just do that.

To Sing a Deeper Song Consider:

Balance and the Flow of Living
Two Steps Past Hard
The Many Faces of Your Calling
What Do You Save Space for in Your Life?
42 – The Stuck Place Called Decision
40 – Who Do yo Want to Serve?