choice

Our Opinion Requires No Thought

June 13, 2016 By Cara Lumen

Where do our opinions come from? Our opinions come from a hodgepodge of unexamined beliefs and experiences. Opinions require no thought. If opinion is the lowest form of human thought, why do we value it?

We hang on to our opinion because we are afraid

If someone is doing their life differently than we are, we feel uncertain around them. We may feel less than, we may feel more than, we may just feel afraid because their expression of life is outside of our own experience, our own comfort zone.

Opinion requires no accountability or understanding and it leads to violence, discrimination and a narrowing of our own life experience.

We hang on to our opinion because we don’t understand

When I took my final exam in Comparative Religion in college, I wrote at the end – “How do I know my religion is “right?” Up until that point, I had not been aware of the variety of ways that humankind seeks their own spirituality. I hadn’t known about those other religions, therefore I didn’t understand them. I begin to go exploring to find what resonates with me and my particular path and it has been a rich, rewarding and unique journey.

We hang on to our opinion because it’s easier than gaining knowledge

It takes time and energy to get the facts. It’s way too easy to believe what we are told – in the media, by others. If we want to move beyond the shallowness of opinion, we have to be open. We have to be willing to consider our options, to explore several approaches to a solution, to listen with an open heart to the concerns of others.

It’s so much easier to just believe what we fear, what feels uncomfortable, than to examine ourselves to see what we might learn and therefore change about our own feelings and beliefs.

Opinion is scary because it can be harmful

We get attached to our opinions and if they are questioned we hang on even harder. It leads to confrontation. Can you pause for a moment and look closely at your opinions and do some fact-checking, listen to the concerns of other, and be willing to expand your thinking?

The only way to move beyond opinion is to explore

Do some research. Read a variety of viewpoints and recognize that even those “viewpoints” might just be someone’s narrow opinion. Look for the facts and know that even the facts that were selected to share where chosen based on someone’s opinion of what was important. You have to look hard to find what feel like the truth. We fear what we don’t understand. Learn what you need to know in order to broaden your viewpoint.

Question you own values to make certain they are truly what you value today and are not simply the values and beliefs you were taught in your childhood and have never bothered to question. Don’t take on someone else fear. Move yourself into the understanding of the human-ness of what you feel.

The highest form of knowledge is empathy

What if we tried to walk for a bit in the other person’s shoes? What if we truly understood that we are all one – all one energy – all one spirit – all one essence. That you are me and I am you and to harm you is to harm me. What if we embraced that?! The highest form of knowledge is empathy, being able to understand and share the feelings of another.

Can you move beyond yourself?

The first step to compassion and empathy is to feel and see beyond yourself. Each of us is beautifully unique just as we are. We are here to be appreciated and valued and learned from. You are. I am They are. We are. We are one.

Can you empathize enough so that you can feel both the joy and pain of the people you have a negative opinion about? Can you look deeply into the things you hold in common and celebrate their unique value in the world?

A person is a person, whatever their race, nationality, or gender. People love, they share, they teach, they learn, they walk, they rest, they think, they create. We are all the same, whatever we look like or however we express our own individuality.

What is the highest good for all?

A person stepping forth to lead will not “please” everyone. We are too beautifully unique – and unfortunately too opinionated. What if we all found solutions that were for the highest good for all? The highest good, the best for everyone. That would mean compromise, that would mean flexibility, that would mean understanding the feelings and belief and needs of others. Can we do that? Can you?

Appreciate what others offer

A person expressing his or her gifts is simply that, a fellow human following their passion and giving of themselves to the world. You can accept it or not, but feel their heart. Feel their love of what they do. Do not let that be overshadowed by anything superficial that tempts you to bring yourself down to that lowest form of thinking – your opinion. Raise your sites and absorb the gifts others offer.

Think empathy. Think love. Think oneness.

Go beyond yourself and live in the other persons’ world.

Move from the self-serving world of opinion into the world-embracing place of empathy and see how your own world experience changes.

To Sing a Deeper Song consider:
We Are Part of a Larger Spiritual Order
What is Your Truth?
I Am You
Live in the Nowhere That You Came From
28 – How to Walk Beside Someone in Service
35—How to Hold the Space for Change.

When Do You Let Go?

May 24, 2016 By Cara Lumen

You have to let go of places, people, and things. You have to let go of old beliefs that no longer support you, old ideas that you’ve outgrown. Life is a continual process of letting go.

How do you know when to let go?

There are two ways you can move on – you simply decide to let go and move on or you start moving in another direction and the past gradually gets left behind. Both work. Both are freeing.

I re-read posts I wrote a year ago and could see that I was beginning to recognize my need to find a new tribe. I explored the idea of a new tribe from several directions. There was a gradual letting go.

Another time, during the same period of musing, I reached an almost instantaneous decision that turned my path in a remarkable different direction. When life says let go – let go!

You always have to let go

Life is a collection of intertwined cycles. There’s always a cycle beginning and a cycle ending and one you are in the middle of. The catch is to keep letting go – daily – moment to moment so you move forward in all the cycles of your life.

Look over the lessons you learned, the skills you improved, the people you now respond to, and go on from there. Be grateful for not living in the past. Let it go. It’s over. It is no more. What you have is now.

Savor the present

When you live each moment as now, here, in the present, the present becomes alive and magical. It’s full of opportunities and knowledge.

When you stay busy embracing each moment, there’s no room for the past. You are full up of the present. You are full up of life.

You easily let go of every moment when you fully embrace the present.

To Sing a Deeper Song consider:

The No Plan Plan
20 – Why Are You in Service?
21 – How to Share a Piece of Your Soul
05-Do You Have the Courage to Stand Alone
24-How Not Fitting In Helps Your Be Extraordinary
Is it Selfish To Take Care Of Yourself First?
You Are All-That-Is
Unfolding an the Wu Wei of Not-Forcing

The Prime Real Estate of Time and Space

March 30, 2016 By Cara Lumen

The most prime space in my kitchen held things I didn’t use very often. That’s a poor use of prime real estate of space. When I rearranged things and used that space for items I used more often, I was more efficient and it was easier to get things done.

I wondered where else in my life I was misusing prime time and prime space.

What is your prime time?

When an idea starts to emerge, I sit down at my computer to capture it. No email, no stopping. I just create. I create other times of the day, but “first thing” time is prime time for me. I take advantage of it.

My week has some times that feel more productive than others. Mondays are always full of resolve. By Thursdays some of my projects are approached less enthusiastically.

When we know our own rhythm, our own prime time, we can schedule our work accordingly.

What is your prime space?

My desk is prime space. When I keep it clear and uncluttered I feel more in control and more focused. My computer desk has a shelf that is at eye level. What I put there is meant to be inspiring and motivating.

I have a little stone garden scene with a Buddha statue to remind me to pause and focus inward. I also have an etching of an old manual typewriter that’s been in a prime viewing place for 50 years. It’s the celebration of my love of writing.

There’s prime space in the table by the chairs I sit in to read. There’s prime space in the narrow bookshelf that holds my meditation items.

What’s your prime space and what do you have in it?

What does “prime” mean to you?

To me, prime can be two things – the most relevant and the most used. Most relevant is the development of my inner awareness. That makes “prime” my crystals, my meditation chair, and the books I read for my personal growth.

The most used, of course is my computer and the area around it where I spend most of my time.

Most used, handiest, most relevant? Central, foremost, most important? What’s important in your life? What’s important in your work?

How do you define “prime” for yourself?

What is your primary focus?

It helps to know the things that are most important to you. It may be a person or a group of people; it may be your work or just an aspect of your work. It may be the joy of learning, or the serenity of inner work.

Look for the subtle things that are important to you and give them some primary focus. Give them more time and more space.

This year, the primary focus for my outer work is to help more people find the Deeper Song Community. The primary focus for my inner work is to become more mindful and to explore more deeply into my inner life

When you know your primary focus, you can give it more time and space.

To Sing a Deeper Song consider:
Do You Know How Much You Have Going For You?
What Doors Do You Need to Close?
What Shape is Your Footprint?
Are You Living in the Freedom of Now?
Are You in the Right Room?
20 – Why Are You in Service?
27 – Why Have You Been Chosen
28 -How to Walk Beside Someone in Service

The Power of Exploring the Unknown

March 28, 2016 By Cara Lumen

The unknown can be scary. It can also be exciting and inspiring. My project was to self-publish two ebooks. As I pushed my way deeper into the unfamiliar parts of that experience, I recognized apprehension, confusion, and uncertainty, along with determination and the belief in success. That’s a lot to get from a little ebook project.

Go where you have not gone before

There’s great value in tackling something new, in pushing yourself into the unknown in order to accomplish a specific goal.

My goal was to get my ebook up on iTunes and Kindle. Writing the books was easy compared to the technical steps to get them up there – because those steps were unknown. I had put books up before but it was a long time ago. This promised to be a new adventure.

Learn what you did not know before

I decided to use Scrivener, a program that was new to me. So step one of my adventure was to figure out a new software program. I used my “20-minute lesson” technique to take the tutorials and gradually master the program.

But I had to download two new programs to review the book on. And then learn those. Yet another barrier.

I had to make decisions about pricing and the text that explains what the book is about.

The deeper I went, the less I knew.

But I persisted and I learned.

The unfamiliar became the familiar.

Exploration strengthens your determination to succeed

The way to move forward is to put one foot in front of the other. You need to be willing to go where you haven’t gone before. You have to be a bit adventurous. Most of all, you have to be determined to succeed.

I wanted so much to get those books up that I kept learning one new step after another. Even when I found there was yet another step to take, I slogged on. Reaching my destination was important. The journey expanded my personal awareness, my insights and the honing of my skills.

Discover opportunities you never dreamed of

I know that once I complete this journey, I’ll have a whole new vista to consider. I’ll think of many more books to write, many more ways to use the programs I’ve learned. I’ll see connections I hadn’t seen before and know that they are now within my power to make.

What is the next journey you need to take?

This was a physical-plane journey that I needed and wanted to take. But there are personal journeys I want to embark on. I’m an introvert who could expand her socializing skills. Although I’m now 83, I believe I can still learn new ways to keep strong and fit. I am a philosophical explorer who is going deeper.

What’s your next journey? Is it a small hike, a camping trip or a major undertaking?

Whatever the size of your journey, there’s much learning and great power in exploring the unknown.

To Sing a Deeper Song consider:
Unleash the Power of The 20 Minute Lesson
Is Everything You Know Still True
Are you in the Right Room?
Engage in the Power of Trust
Fitting In Is Not What You Do To Be Extraordinary
How to Develop Your Distinctive Voice
31-How to Cultivate The Power of Simplicity
30 – The No Plan Plan

Just Choose

February 29, 2016 By Cara Lumen

Go left, go right, go forward, go back – every moment is filled with decisions. Stay seated, stand up, make a choice. Huge relief comes with making a choice. It’s like releasing a log jam. You can finally move. Just because you finally made a choice.

Not making a choice is a choice

Not making a choice is the most limiting thing you can do. Nothing happens if you don’t put the ball into play, if you don’t pick one direction or another to at least start moving forward. The choice may only be to learn a little more about the change you’re considering. Make certain you aren’t stuck simply because you will not make any choice at all.

A choice helps you go adventuring

You don’t have to continue to go in the direction you chose, but you do have to go exploring in that direction – far enough so that you have enough information for an informed decision. You have to explore far enough that you have knowledge of the skills you will need and an idea how you might acquire them. Making a choice is exciting. It opens new doors and new possibilities.

A choice lets you experience results

I made a choice to set my new Rainmaker site up as a membership site. It took some work and it looked great, and after the initial sign-ups that took place when I first opened my site, it didn’t continue to attract more members. I didn’t have the time or inclination to make a lot of courses and promote them and all the things that go with taking care of a membership group. I tried it. I explored it. I discovered its limitations for how I wanted to work. My informed decision was to take down the membership site.

A choice lets you change directions

In the process of doing my end-of-year reality check, I decided to make another choice, one that would change the call to action for those who come to my site. As it’s easy to change themes in Rainmaker, I found a new theme that felt right for where I am right now. In particular, it had a most lovely opt-in form for people to sign up to be connected. We’ll see what happens, but this new choice allows me to approach people more gently.

Let your “why” determine your choice

Why are you doing what you’re doing? Why will others want what you offer? I bet that since you’ve gotten better at what you do over the past year, you have new ideas and opportunities to offer. For that same reason, your target community has shifted and grown. A close look at your “why” can help you make an informed choice.

For instance, a year ago all I knew was that I wanted to help people sing a deeper song. I had no clear idea what that looked like or felt like, but I went exploring and shared what I discovered.

Recently I rewrote my “why.” It has become more specific and more tangible. I help people who want to sing a deeper song to understand their passion, their gifts and their calling so that they’re confident they’re the only ones who can deliver the message they’re called to share.

Look how specific that is, how rich the results I can help us all achieve. Re-examine your “why” on a regular basis to catch the subtle changes in focus.

Do too many choices feel a bit overwhelming?

Keep your over-arching purpose in mind and, with each choice you consider, measure it against how far it’ll advance your main purpose. My main purpose is to sing a deeper song and help others do the same. As I explore the ways to help people share the message only they can share, it focuses my choices and my work.

Are you serving beginners or advanced?

What degree of expertise do you want the people you serve to have? I like the advanced group myself and I need to know that, because it colors all my choices. Yes, I have to explain some basics, but the choice of companions is determined by the degree of skill it takes to follow a particular path. What level of seeker do you serve?

Keep your personal balance

I have made one video and I loved doing it. I have seven more scripts written and I’m still putting off taking the next step. First, I have to learn the video-editing program. I bet that will only take an hour. That’s the not-knowing-how boulder that sits in front of me!

Once I make the choice to take one step toward learning the program, that big boulder will become smaller boulders that I can step around and thus move forward. Make a small choice if you need to, just to get yourself moving. And don’t forget to applaud the results – that you did, in fact, learn to take a new step.

Allow the timing to unfold

Letting the timing unfold is tricky. Choice takes contemplation. It takes exploration. Before I switched the focus of my web site, I had been thinking about it, looking for the underlying focus I needed to find. A lot of work happened subconsciously because one day I simply did it – change my theme and figured out how to put html in the opt in form Yes, I got stuck. Yes, I read a lot of directions. And YES I DID IT!

How do you make a choice?

Are you a pros and cons list maker? That’s a mental exercise that can help you test your feelings around a particular choice.

Do you make a choice and wander down the path a bit to test it out? When you explore, you broaden your frame of reference whether you continue in that direction or not.

Do you need to learn or strengthen a particular skill? I spend 20 minutes a day on a tutorial that increases my expertise in a program or a topic.

Do you need to re-identify your core purpose before you move forward to see how you have changed? Perhaps your reluctance to move forward is because your wants and needs have changed. Take a moment to see if you’re still going in the direction you want to go.

Whatever the methodology you choose for this, just do it. Don’t stay stuck. Just decide!

To Sing a Deeper Song consider:

04–How to Redefine Yourself and the 30 Year Plan
05-Do You Have the Courage to Stand Alone
07- How to Find and Express Your Distinctive Voice
08- How Willing Are You to Change – And Why Not?
20 – Why Are You in Service?
How to Plan in Unfolding Cycles
Wander Beyond All Paths
What Do You Do in a Losing Situation?
Unfolding and the Big Bouder
Where Do You Find the Support You Need?
What to Do When You Feel Disheartened