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positve change

How You See Yourself, You Are

May 3, 2018 By Cara Lumen

How You See Yourself, You Are

We create our life experience through our beliefs – in what’s possible – in what we deserve.  If you want to change your life, the only place to begin is within.  What do you think is possible?  What do you think you deserve? 

We each need to identify and get rid of our limiting beliefs.

Society helps dictate our views

We’re conditioned to see ourselves the way society sees us.  When I was young, females did not go to college and were expected to get married and care for families.  (I was born in 1932.)  Out of my freshman class at Hollins University, only two of us went on to have careers and mine was only after I had married, had children and been divorced.  The rest got married and managed their families as they were conditioned to do. 

My mother saw to it that I went to college and got my Bachelor’s degree. And as a young mother of four in her forties, I went back to college and got my Master’s degree.  We need to follow our calling and do what we need to do rather than adhere to any pre-existing mold. 

What’s expected of us influences how we see ourselves.  And only we can change that.  

As a young married woman, I happened to find myself in charge of running a tennis tournament at our Country Club.  A friend, a man, a business person, complimented me profusely on how well run it was.  He was truly impressed.  I don’t know whether it was because I proved myself to be a good organizer or because I was a woman who was capable of organizing that surprised him. Perhaps a bit of both.  Men didn’t expect much of women in those days.

I absorbed and cherished that compliment because at the time I thought he knew more than I did just because he was a man and he was in business.  It was only years later that I figured out that being a man in business doesn’t make you smarter or more capable than a woman who is not in business. How influenced we are by the prevailing belief systems of our times!

As my life progressed, I understood that I am a naturally outstanding organizer.  But back then, I didn’t know that about myself. I didn’t believe that about myself.

Look carefully at the gifts you’ve been given.  Look carefully at what you believe you’re capable of accomplishing.  Raise that expectation.  It’ll change your life. 

A barrier has been broken

We had the woman’s movement in the late 60’s.  We’ve had the slow but gradual rise of women to leadership positions formerly held only by men.  We now have more women going into the technical world. We have a movement for equal pay for equal work. And we have a very strong movement with serious consequences for sexual harassment. Things are changing. The bar has been raised and we are meeting it.

Years ago, I worked for a small company and we had a flood that impacted me and others.  My boss commented on how hard it was on one of the drivers, “because he has a family to support.”  I was standing before him, a woman in her forties who was raising her grandchild by herself. He was so blind to the value of women he couldn’t see that I was affected for the same reason.

You see what you look for. You see what you believe. 

The rise of the feminine is in progress and it’s changing the world.  It has only just begun. The more we believe in ourselves, men or women, the more doors will be flung open to welcome us. 

What do you think is possible?

How do you see your life unfolding?  What vision do you hold for your future? Do you see yourself as a CEO if you want to be one?  Can you see yourself as a creative entrepreneur who changes the world?  Do you see yourself earning the same as the male who holds your same position?  Do you see yourself with an equal opportunity to gain a promotion? Do you see yourself as a deserving person who is effective and powerful?  

It’s possible that all of those images you hold of yourself need some work because they haven’t yet been part of your experience.  And deep down, you don’t believe they can happen.  We need to change our expectations – for ourselves, and for others. 

Work around the limitations

Life changes and we need to continuously make adjustments.  There are things I can no longer do physically because I’m old, and there are also things I no longer want to do because I’m old.

For instance, as my eyesight is changing, I now read digital books with enlarged print. I’ve yet to explore audiobooks. I no longer travel but I watch PBS and the Nature Channel and Nova and Ancient Aliens and Mysteries at the Museum.  

I take courses online.  I actively deepen my study of shamanism and have a fellow shamanistic practitioner with whom I speak weekly on Skype. Those exchanges keep us both moving forward on our shared path.  I write daily to figure things out and share a lot of what I discover.  I send wholing energy to the well-being of the world. 

And I sit here in my apartment to do it all.  But from this vantage point, I can learn anything I want to and exchange ideas with anyone in the world. 

There are no longer limitations – except in what we believe is possible for us to accomplish. We can create an alternate version of everything and anything in order to accommodate our changing lives.  

Honor and believe in your own gifts

I have a vision of a woman president and women holding the majority of seats in both houses of Congress. And I’ve given thought to how that will change the interactions in our government.  The timing and extent of the emergence of that vision will depend on how women continue to see themselves. And what actions we take. This transition also has a great deal to do with our age.  Young women of today expect more of themselves.  Nothing is beyond their reach.

But older women are different. 

I have a conservative friend who simply votes the way her husband tells her to.  And she’s half my age. 

There are older women, who because of their upbringing, don’t think women are capable of running things, like our government. They won’t vote for women because of that.  They don’t see themselves as capable, so how can other women be? 

But that’s changing with the new generations.

Our opportunities come from how we see ourselves 

Part of the repositioning process for each of us is simply one of gradually and organically being replaced by younger people with different experiences and expectations.  As the older generation leaves the planet, their male-dominated, woman-demeaning ideas will also leave with them. 

And life as we know it will begin to change – again. Still.  More. 

It already has changed.  The younger generations are defining themselves very differently than we did/do.

What can you do now?

While we wait for natural evolution to take place, we can make powerful changes within ourselves.  How do you see yourself?  As a woman, what do you think is possible for you?  As a man, what do you think is possible for you, your daughters and your wife? 

We all have to question our view of the role of women in the world. And men also need to question how they see their own potential and possibilities. 

Change begins within yourself

Look closely at how you view yourself if you are female, at how you view females if you’re a man. Question the roles you think males and females should hold.  Question the vision you hold for yourself.  Is it big enough?  Broad enough?  Deep enough? Question everything you think.  Where did that belief come from?  Is it truly what you want to believe today?

As we watch women become racing-car drivers and boxers and soldiers, our worldview of the feminine changes.  For the most part, we see women following a masculine image.  What does it look like when women are in charge? How will their approach to problem solving and leadership change our world?

Women are learning to be in charge and have some adjustments to make. 

As women become more prominent in the governing of the world, in business and politics, the arts, we have to learn to do it our way, and not do a “feminine version” of the masculine way. 

I have no real idea of what that would look like but there would be a more inclusive approach to decision making.  There would be a gender-neutral way to look at skills and talents and there would be mutual support – when we stop trying to emulate the male view of needing to compete. 

It’s not my generation that will do this. And perhaps not yours.  But if you know of a young woman who is testing her wings, be the air of support for her.  Encourage her, help her believe in herself.  Make certain she knows she can do whatever she wants to do and make a huge difference in our world with the unique gifts she has to give. 

Can you and I, at our age, do that too? Fly higher? Any shift we make will have an impact on our own lives and in the lives of those around us.  I’m trying to stay self-sufficient in my eighties. I’m defying the accepted view of an old person by studying and learning and writing and participating, and am loving every minute of it. 

Look closely at what you think is possible

No, I’m not going to run any races or even travel, but I sure can use Skype to interact with and learn from people all around the world.  

I also have the conceit to feel that after all these years of living my life and accumulating lessons and wisdom, it’s my responsibility, my calling, my duty, to serve as a wise elder and teach what I know to whoever wants/needs to learn from me. 

I am to pass on my wisdom but in a manner that allows others to take what they need from it and freely adapt it to the circumstances they find themselves in.  It’s not “do it this way.”  It’s “here’s what I’ve learned, take what works best for you.”

And know that the young people of today have a different set of challenges than we did and some of their lessons will be quite different. 

What you believe you deserve and what you believe is possible determine your life experience. 

Question your beliefs, particularly about what’s possible for you.  Know that you deserve the very best.  Don’t settle for second best.  Expect more of yourself.  Work until you achieve it!  

How do you see yourself?

A check in my mirror might reflect an old woman who stoops a bit. But her hair is still brown with only random strands of grey and her eyes are intelligent and inquisitive.   

From here inside myself, I see and feel an intelligent, curious, creative, deeply spiritual explorer who connives to be excited about what she learns and discovers. 

Are you looking at your external reflection or are you looking at what’s inside?

How do you see yourself?  Pay attention to your inner image and live up to all you know you can be. 

Related explorations from Our Luminous Legacy

How to be Nothing

Live in the Center of Your Being

What are the Foundation Stones Upon Which You Build Your Life?

Discover Your Spiritual Heart

Join the Circle of Light Beings 

Filed Under: Our Luminous Legacy, Self Awareness, Self Transformation Tagged With: positve change, self-awareness, transformational thinking

Start Where You Stand

April 10, 2018 By Cara Lumen

Start Where You Stand

“Do not wait; the time will never be ‘just right.’ Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.” – George Herbert, poet and priest

Wherever you are right now is a perfect place to begin.  Take a step.  Followed by another step.  Then look around at the new view.  

When a new idea pops in, explore it.  Let it take you wherever it does.  Do with it whatever it calls on you to do.  Each time you go exploring you learn, your experience is deepened, your skills are sharpened.  

Where are you now and what do you simply need to start doing?

For a Deeper Exploration: 

Follow Your Personal Drumbeat 

Build on the Distance You Have Come 

Does Your Path Have Heart?

What are the Foundations Stones Upon Which Your Build Your Life

Discover Your Spiritual Heart

Filed Under: Deep Listening, Positive Change, Self Awareness, Self Transformation Tagged With: positve change, Spiritual Expansion, transformational thinking

Build on the Distance You Have Come 

March 27, 2018 By Cara Lumen

Build on the Distance You Have Come 

“You can only progress by building on the distance you have come.”
– Everyday Tao, Ding Ming Dao

Where are you?  How far have you come?  Where do you want to go?

Before you move forward, examine where you are. What are your strengths, your gifts, your talents? What have you learned that can become a new foundation to build upon? What recently discovered awareness will open new doors?

Look at what’s missing.  What do you need to acquire before you move forward?  It may be in the form of knowledge, it may be a skill, it may be self-awareness.  To get from here to there, what needs to change within you?

Change that.

More Deep Listening:

What are the Foundations Stones Upon Which Your Build Your Life?

Follow Your Personal Drumbeat

Live in the Center of Your Being 

Hold the Vision of Light 

Join the Circle of Light Beings

Filed Under: Deep Listening, Self Transformation, Unfolding Tagged With: positve change, Spiritual Expansion, transformational thinking

The Things We Tell Ourselves

December 20, 2017 By Cara Lumen

“I’m worried.” “I’m scared.” “It’s not going to happen.”  What we tell ourselves comes true.  So why do we keep saying these things?

To avoid disappointment?

If we don’t expect to get something, then we won’t be disappointed when it doesn’t happen.  So it’s easier to tell ourselves it’ll never happen or we don’t deserve it.

Does not being afraid make us face the unknown and the uncertain?

Fear is a sneaky thing.  It tiptoes in with a few doubts or points out a few new things we need to learn, and the next minute we find ourselves frozen in fear and uncertainty about our ability to proceed.

Has fear become a habit?

I have a friend whose conversation is filled with “I don’t know how.”  “I’m scared to do that.”  “I’m worried.”   One time the statement was even that she was worried that her dog was worried.

And of course, what you tell yourself becomes your life experience.

Your words become a fulfilling affirmation

As this self-doubt increases, her ability to function lessens. She truly cannot learn new things.  She truly cannot figure out things.  She shuts down at the mere idea of learning something new and is so filled with the belief she can’t do something that she truly can’t.

What we tell ourselves becomes our reality

“I’m smart, I’m beautiful, I’m clever, I’m …”  If you feel it, you will be it.  You can change your life by changing your thoughts.  What thoughts are you giving yourself every day?

Your Inner Garden

We grow our life in our inner world, our inner garden.  We can sow ideas of doubt or seeds of encouragement. We can sow seeds of hope and expectations.  We can cultivate crops of anger and hatred or love and empathy. It’s our choice.  Our inner world.  Our crop – to plant, to care for, to feed and to harvest.

Our choice.  Our seeds.  Our harvest.

Begin by noticing

Notice your words. Notice your thoughts.  Are they positive?  Or negative?  Consciously begin to correct your thoughts and words and turn them into positive affirmations.

Notice the results and keep making changes

Notice how worry affects your body – your back, your muscles, your headache.  Physical manifesting begins in your mind, and it can be changed simply by changing what you put in your mind, what beliefs and thoughts you plant in your inner garden.

If you’re not getting the results you want in your life, go work on your inner garden and see what you’ve planted and what crops you’re growing and what weeds you need to pull out.

Do you have a fear of exploring, of trying something new?

Life is one big constantly changing cycle, so the more you learn to adjust and adapt and roll with the changes, the more positive will be your life experience.  Exploring something new is like opening the door to take a breath of fresh air.  It offers a new view, a new perspective, and new opportunities.  Change is super good!

To Sing a Deeper Song Consider:

What Do You Really Want

How to Eliminate Worry

The Mirror of Appreciation

Repurpose Your Thought to Change the Outcome

The Unfolding Vision Board

Filed Under: Positive Change, Self Awareness, Self Cultivation Tagged With: positve change, Self Mastery, self-awareness

How Your Spiritual Life Changes You

November 29, 2017 By Cara Lumen

I’ve been a metaphysician for over half my life.  I keep exploring the different expressions of metaphysics and my spiritual awareness keeps changing.

As it should.

My spiritual exploration gives me powerful experiences

Metaphysics opened up the world to me.  It freed me to explore all versions of spirituality.  And I have. I loved developing the power of affirmative prayer in the Center for Spiritual Living. I love the concepts I learned in Taoism – unfolding, mindfulness.  I love the ideas I get from the Sufi Poet Rumi. I love the concepts of The Village of Nothingness, The Unnerved Block, the Nowhere That I Came From. And now I have shamanism.

When you go exploring in your inner world, you begin to make aware choices that are more aligned with who you want to be in your own life, how you want to shape it.  You go within for guidance and support, and you get answers.

Increase your daily spiritual life

Whatever form your spirituality takes, do more of it.  Every day.  Several times a day.  Do conscious work in your inner realms.  Listen to your inner urges, your inner voices.  Learn to journey and ask questions and learn to interpret the metaphorical guidance of the helping spirits.  Then move back into your life with a raised vibration, a deeper self-awareness, and make more conscious choices about how you show up in the world.

Do deep inner work – daily

Create some sort of daily inner work ritual to begin your day.  To begin mine, I drum and sing and I have a whole sequence of discovery and affirmative steps I find meaningful.

Throughout my day, I work to increase my ability to express a quality – like mindfulness or unfolding, inclusiveness, and empathy, just plain radiating light.

These take practice, a lot of conscious daily practice, to bring them into active involvement in your life. I’m pretty good at unfolding. I am getting better at mindfulness. I journey daily and that expands and deepens my inner awareness. I am progressing.  Because I practice. My spiritual practice is active throughout my day.

Your spiritual life can help you see things differently 

When you cultivate your inner life, the outer world begins to change.  For instance, the more I focus on increasing my own radiance, the more radiance I see in others around me and together we become lighter and more illumined and share that with the world around us.

Shine light.  Be light. That’s an easy place to begin.

Know what you believe and why you believe it

As people in our world become more vocal in expressing their opposing views, we have the opportunity to examine what we think and believe and, more importantly, why we believe what we do.  Does our thinking need to change, to unfold, to become more inclusive?  Probably.  Can we see a situation from several points of view?

Being in light is an incredible common denominator.  If I learn to see others as light, in light, I see our sameness more than our differences.

But it may take some practice.  It’ll take working on my own light so I can see the light in others.  I must learn to resonate with it.  And connect with it.

We have choices

I feel much safer when I work on radiating more light into the world.  I feel that I’m participating for the higher good and that my inner light work is making a difference, raising the consciousness of not only me but those who come across my pulsating, ever increasing, radiating light are also affected.

Your spiritual life will raise your vibration and increase the radiance of your inner life.

Work on it.  Immerse yourself in it.  Be light!

To Sing a Deeper Song Consider:

Unleash the Power of Your Inner Garden

How Your Belief System Dictates Your Choices

Find Your Most Impactful Spiritual Practice

Your Breath is a Doorway to Higher Consciousness

Embrace The Power of Your Inner Life

Filed Under: Self Awareness, Self Transformation, Spiritual Expansion Tagged With: positve change, Spiritual Expansion, transformational thinking

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