Cara Lumen | Sing a Deeper Song

Sing a Deeper Song

self-awareness

How to Fearlessly Follow the Passionate You

By

radioPassionately On Purpose Radio with Cara Lumen, Your Idea Optimizer, who keeps you passionately on purpose while you make a difference in your world. As a Business Coach, Content Developer and Educator she talks about how to uncover your passion, define your purpose, identify your path, make money from what you already know and attract the people you are meant to serve. But most of all, she’ll help you believe you can!!!  Join her Mondays on to stay Passionately On Purpose

 

The Show

How to Fearlessly Follow the Passionate You

When you are at a crossroads, how do you tell which road to take? Kathy Kirk of Applied Spirituality will join me to talk about how to overcome fears and indecision and move in the direction of the Passionate You.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Do You Try To Pass The Buck?

By

by Cara Lumen

You may not do it intentionally, but every time you ask someone to simply tell you what to do, you are abdicating your responsibility.  And since you are the only major team player and decision maker in your personal universe, why on earth would you want to pass the buck?

Are you scared of the outcome?

Sometimes letting someone else make the decision is about being scared of the outcome.  You trust someone who you perceive as knowing more than you or having more experience than you to simply make a choice for you.  It doesn’t work that way.  You have to be responsible for you.  Because no one cares as much about that particular outcome than you do.

Are you too lazy to learn what you need to learn?

It’s a whole lot easier for me not to use my new cell phone even occasionally than to sit down with the instructions and practice till I “own” it or get my daughter to show me yet again how to work it.  Maybe lazy isn’t the word, maybe “a bit out of my element” is better.  There is a confront there. It’s the oh-my-gosh-something-else-technical-to-learn syndrome.  I know that I put off learning how to edit audio for nearly a year because it meant I had to sit down with the tutorials and learn it.  Now that I know at least the basics it’s so easy that I don’t know why I put it off – but I felt a confront about learning something else technical (See How to learn something even if you are full up)  http://caralumen.com/wordpress/planning/learn-feel-full/

Do you really need to know it? Do you really need to know it now?

OK, so editing audio wasn’t a priority at that time, it was a kind-of-like-to-know-how-to-do-this action step.  I’m sitting on another home study course I bought six months ago to help me build my platform better and I haven’t listened to lesson one.  And yet in the meantime I’ve completed a three month course on something I really wanted to know now that I thought seemed more relevant, but in fact it was just simpler for me to do.  If you find yourself making excuses or looking for an easy answer, check out whether you really need to know it and if you really need to know it now.  

If you need support, what kind of support do you need?

Aye, here’s the rub.  We all need support along the road.  We are not in this alone, but what kind of support we seek makes all the difference.  Do I turn my article submission’s over to a VA or do I at least take the initial steps of choosing and signing up for the submission sites best suited for my business?  Do I truly understand the back end of my shopping cart http://www.easywebautomation.com/app/?pr=10&id=74310
so I can take advantage of the new upsell feature?  If I don’t understand it I can’t use it effectively. Do you need a coach to keep you on target and stop you from wandering all over the place following BSNI’s (Bright Shiny New Ideas)? Perhaps you need a coach who has a broader overview of where you are going and what steps are next to get you there?  Maybe it’s a peer mentor you need.  I have two of those.  We share our expertise, listen to each other as we sort out our decision-making process, and call each other on our “stuff.”  But we don’t take the responsibility to do it for each other.  We simply support each other in pressing through our own resistance to discovering and taking the next appropriate step.

Give yourself credit for each tiny step

My sister is going through a divorce and there are so many independent skills she is having to learn.  It’s so different than the life she has led for 33 years that moving into her individual-hood is a huge and challenging experience.  So we’ve taken to acknowledging every small achievement she makes.  She calls herself “awesome!” and those of us supporting her do too.  And we praise her for every tiny step she takes so she can see her own progress and watch her independence develop.

I’m going to have knee replacement surgery at some point.  Talk about taking one step at a time.  I kidded with my daughter about making an appointment to sign up for some pain!  No one can do this process but me.  No one can move the muscles or flex the joints or walk the steps but me.  Sure I’ll take advice and encouragement from a physical therapist, and support from my family, but the bottom line is I’m the only game in town.  It’s all up to me.  There is no one to pass the buck too.  But in the long run, I’m the one who will reap the greatest rewards.

Say “yes” to your next opportunity and acknowledge yourself for every step. Don’t pass the buck – don’t ask someone else to take the responsibility you need to take. You will take excellent care of yourself because you deserve it!

© 2010 Cara Lumen

 

How to Find Your Own Rhythm in the Middle of it All

By

by Cara Lumen

I’m coming to the end of a three month commitment. I’m tired. I have some end-of-the-course leader things to do and I’m about to have time to find my own rhythm again. And I wonder – where did I get out of sync, how did I let it happen, and what do I do to regain it?

Where did I get out of sync with my own rhythm?

I let myself get out of sync with my own personal rhythm gradually. It went unnoticed. I just added more and more things to do, did them and in doing so, pushed aside some of the nourishing things I know to do for myself.

How did I let it happen?

The operative word here is "let." I let myself get out of sync with my own personal rhythm when I made the choices I did. When I stopped reading for pleasure because I was too tense or didn’t have time. When I stopped taking time to exercise or cut my walks short because I had too much to do. When I didn’t take time to connect with a friend. When I didn’t take time to think, to contemplate, to consider what I wanted and needed. Little by little I sabotaged myself and changed my rhythm to accommodate that of other people or the work I chose to do. It is only when a natural pause presents itself that I know that I want to rethink my choices.

What do I do to regain my personal rhythm?

I always go within to see what I really, really want. I make new choices based on what I have recently learned, who I have met, what new ideas I have. And most of all I check within to be sure I am still aligned with my vision and my core values. It may take a few days. When you are ready to regain your personal rhythm, start thinking and journaling. Notice what’s different about you and what is in your life. Rethink your intention, your direction and make some new choices.

Go back to your original purpose

At the core of what I love to do is teaching. I love to learn, I love to create ways to share what I have learned with others, and I love to teach it. That means that for me to be the happiest and most satisfied, all my choices need to be about my original purpose – doing things that allow me to learn, create and teach.

What is your original purpose? Make a list of the things people continually ask you to do and what they compliment you on. Then circle the ones that you love to do, that you do easily and well and eagerly. That’s gives you insight to what you are supposed to be doing.

Then look at your passion

Whether you are starting your own business, selling a product or service, writing an article, or reaching out to a friend, it is your enthusiasm that will work the magic. And your enthusiasm comes from your passion. I love to teach but what exactly do I love to teach, who do I want to teach, how do I want to teach? One of the things I do is help people bring their passion and vision into a tangible, profitable product or service on the internet that other people need and want. It gives me great joy as I help people achieve their goals while nurturing my own need to be creative and teach. Once you find your passion, look for the people who need want you want to offer. And let them know what you have to offer.

Self-contemplate your way to success

I do a quarterly Magnetic Marketing Method Business Alignment in which I examine where I am and where I want to go. I listen to my body for what it needs – more rest, more laughter, more structure. And I redesign my next three months; not with the idea of adhering closely to the plan, but with the idea of recording my observations and intentions based on what I discovered when I take time to do a "reality" check. What I have experienced today is here because I thought about it yesterday – both the good or bad thoughts. What thoughts do I want to hold now in order to create this next quarter, how do I want to honor my own rhythm, how do I want to keep myself in sync?

Take time to pause, to contemplate and then act upon what you discover. That’s how you find your own rhythm in the middle of it all.

© 2008 Cara Lumen

The Leaf at My Feet

By

It lay there as a sign to me—the large green leaf. Larger than any leaf I had seen. “It’s a sign,” I thought. I love signs.

I looked up to find its origin and every tree around me was bare. Not a leaf left. I looked back at my “sign” and asked myself, “What does this mean?”

It’s nearing the end of a year, a time when I look at where I’ve been and where I want to go. I had just journaled the realization that what I needed to do was to shift my consciousness to make my business grow and my life richer. But to what? Always the question.

I think it has to do with my sense of personal value (or lack of it) and my trust that whatever shows up I can do. I get to play with people who are playing much bigger than I am and in the process add value to what they are doing. I get to trust my talent and my skill and believe it when people tell me how good I am at what I do. I get to seek out others and suggest a collaboration. I get to expect more.

“This leaf is telling me to play bigger,” I thought. “This leaf is telling me to drop any fears or apprehension about moving into new venues. This leaf is telling me to have a bigger vision and to believe in it.”

I continued my walk, admiring the leaf in my hand. It was a spring green although I knew it was actually a dying green. And it certainly was big. There was not a tree in sight that could have produced it.

And then I saw them. A half dozen more of these very large green leaves, larger than the one I held in my hand, all scattered in a cluster on the ground. I picked up two of the largest ones and looked around to see where they could have come from. And then I saw it—a tree in the back yard of a neighbor, hidden from view by a tall fence. And I thought, “What tall fence am I hiding behind? If this leaf is a sign of my huge talent, from what have I constructed the fence that hides it from view?”

Fear? Uncertainty? I want to tear down that fence. I want to take my large talents and spread them all over the neighborhood – all over the world, in fact. I want other seekers to find my large green leaf and get the message – everything is possible. We live in a world of infinite possibilities. We are given gifts that only we can give to another. We must get to work. We must play big. We must live our vision.

And so, my friends, this story is my large green leaf to you. In the coming year, let’s both come out from behind the fence and spread our gigantic talents throughout the world.

Have a great Winter Solstice!

Cara Lumen, The Vision Distiller, helps you distill your vision into a specific and profitable course of action. Her specialty is internet marketing, content strategy, and signature product development. Through her Magnetic Marketing Method, Cara offers innovative, inexpensive, and impactful ideas for the pro-active entrepreneur. Learn how you can become a Success Magnet at www.caralumen.com

The Case of the Curled Bark

By

by Cara Lumen

It lay curled on the ground beside the tree it had served, beautiful even as it moved into uselessness. I noticed it on my walk and was drawn to pick it up; looking for the message it might hold for me.

It comes from a Crape Myrtle tree—a tree that blooms late in the summer and grows by adding beautiful flowers in shades of red on the tips of each branch, These flowers then become the branches for next year’s growth. It is also s a tree that gracefully lets go of the old.

The bark was on the ground because the tree had expanded and split if off. It has completed its work. I’m certain it had done its work well, protecting the inner tree, but it no longer fit. If it had stayed in place, the tree could not grow.

What do I have in place that is keeping me from growing? How have I expanded and what do I need to allow to split off? What no longer fits into my vision, my plan, my passion?

It was the message I sought.

I’ve had several opportunities lately to move backward—take up services I used to offer but have outgrown. That’s why the idea of doing them again held no appeal—I had outgrown them. I am in a different mind set. I have new skills I love to use more. I have new ideas I wasn’t to express. Why would I ever entertain the thought of moving backward?

Sometimes we are offered choices in order to fortify our determination to move forward.

What has changed for you? What are you willing to do? What activities and interactions bring you joy? But more importantly, what are you no longer willing to do? What needs to drop away, just as the bark has dropped from the tree it once served.

From moment to moment we are different. We gain new insights with every interaction. We find new adventures that excite us. And we cannot go on the new adventures unless we stop carrying the old stuff around. We cannot move forward as long as we are holding on to old beliefs and habits. We cannot grow without holding new expectations.

The Crape Myrtle tree adds new growth in the form of beautiful flowers, just as add new aspects to your life as you open up to new experiences. But in doing so, the tree outgrows its skin, its bark, and releases and discards what it no longer needs.

What do you need to release?