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When the Barrier Seems Bigger Than It Is

April 27, 2017 By Cara Lumen

 

mountain

I put off a final step of a project for ten days simply because it felt like a barrier I had to push through. And, of course, the longer I waited, the bigger the barrier seemed. What do you do when you seem to have hit a barrier? How do you overcome it? How do you work around it?

Barriers often begin small

My perceived barrier was a small technical step I needed to figure out in order to set up a wonderful display of my books on my website along with the way to obtain them. I worked really, really hard for three days getting to this point. Then there was one small step I needed to understand and do and it would be finished. Furthermore, it would then be set up and ready to receive more books.

That one step felt like a major challenge and stopped me in my tracks.

Some barriers are about making a decision

I was given an alternate solution by tech support. One step. One solution. And yet I put off for days even trying to understand that one step. It was because I had to make a decision. I had to figure out one more choice. Are some of your barriers simply about decisions?

I knew that it would probably take me 20 minutes to make this happen — well, maybe an hour — but the reward and relief would be enormous.

What if a barrier became an opportunity?

Once I master this one small step, it’ll be easy to put up the other small books that I seem to be completing at a rather rapid pace — probably becomes it’s more fun to create than to set up the back end of a website. So I have chosen to do what’s easy and pleasurable over what feels like a challenge, a place to push through, a barrier.

I wonder where else I’m doing that in my life?

Where are your stuck places?

I live alone so I can very much do what I want to do — or not do. I make rewarding choices like writing or meditating over mundane things like cleaning and cooking.

But there needs to be balance. I must push myself to walk more, to stretch more often, to even sit and look outside the window to connect with nature.

Once you identify your stuck places, figure out how to get yourself un-stuck

Don’t take the easy way

How hard would it be to walk five more minutes each day? Could I put on some great music and cook for an hour in order to have several special meals for the week? What if I tidy and clean some small area before I do something I regularly do — like watch the news. I bet I could even tidy up during the commercials.

Slip in some discipline

My mother made a point of sharing this story of my grandmother. Of all the daily chores she had, what she disliked the most was cleaning the coal oil lamp chimneys. So she did those first and freed up her day from the dread of doing them.

Smart lady. And smart mother to tell me that story.

Pick a “push through” time

Figure out a time of day when you have the energy to push through another step of the perceived barrier you have before you. If my barrier is physical, my push through time every day will be at 4 p.m., when I go for a walk. I’ll add more movement during that time.

As I reserve the beginning of my work day for writing and creating, early afternoon will be my push through time for mental barriers. It feels good to label it “push through” time.

Look at the reward for your effort

I will love having my books up on my site. I will feel proud to have them up on Amazon (another process I put off). Most of all I will love the feeling of relief and release and completion of the book project.

Just do it

Whatever you’ve been putting off, just do it. Set your timer if you want to — put it to 20 minutes, and see what you can do in that length of time. When the timer goes off, see how close you are to success. Acknowledge how far you’ve come and set the timer for another chunk of time.

Barriers are only opportunities to grow

What will you learn if you move through this barrier? What will it feel like on the other side? Is there another path you should take in order to get around this perceived blockage? What can you modify?

What is the lesson you need to learn in order to move forward?

Every opportunity has a gift. And barriers are opportunities. Look for the gift. For me, once I figure out this one small step, I can share my books in a lot of places. Look for the gift. Look for the reward.

And simply do what needs to be done.

To Sing a Deeper Song consider:
How Choosing the Right Word will Clarify your Choices
What to Do When You Don’t Know What You Need
Why we are Afraid of Change?
When Change is Hard
Be the Story you Want to Tell
VLOG: Insights of a Deeper Song
PODCAST: Reflections of a Deeper Song

Filed Under: Alligned Choices, Positive Change, Self Awareness Tagged With: choice, goal setting, self confidence, self-awareness

Take Time to Explore Your Talents

September 22, 2016 By Cara Lumen

Dancer

There are big “in-your-face” talents that sweep you along with them. And there are gentle, subtle talents that will add great meaning to your life once you uncover them.

What are your in-your-face talents?

I’ve been writing since I was the editor of my high-school newspaper. It was an interest and skill I’ve used in many forms in my life – copywriter for radio and television, a variety of organizational newsletters, ebooks, posts. Writing is how I sort myself out, how I figure out how to apply interesting concepts to my life. It’s how I share my ideas with others. It’s an ingrained part of me.

A major talent often shows up as a skill that’s so easy to use that it doesn’t even seem special. You may have no idea that not everyone can do it or that you are particularly good at it.

Music, art, mathematics, logistics, organizing, leadership, connecting with people, nurturing others, enthusiastic participation in whatever you do – these are some of the ways your major talent is recognizable.

What are your subtle talents?

It was always clear that I’m a good organizer. What took me years to figure out, though, was that I’m also a good organizer of ideas. I can see the overview, the complex, and explain it to others in easy-to-understand terms. That is an obvious talent with a subtle use.

My enthusiasm is a gift. It’s infectious. It’s also inspiriting, because it helps me get a lot done. Who would have thought of enthusiasm as a talent!

You may have a physical attribute that’s a talent

It turns out that people like my speaking voice, so I enjoy using it in videos and podcasts.

Take a moment to look for the subtle gifts and talents that you might find more ways to use.

Make your talent distinctive

Finding how to make my writing distinctive took some time and practice. Now I automatically think in the subhead style for a post. It’s how I organize my thoughts. It’s how I share my ideas. It’s my distinctive version of writing. And it simply evolved.

How many ways can you use your talents? Because I write like I talk, it’s easy to create narrative podcast scripts. My ability to organize ideas allows me to see connections and curate pieces of posts into the backbone of a new ebook. My enthusiasm keeps me exploring new platforms – like videos and audiobooks.

Look at your talents and find other venues where you can use them.

Explore your talents

When you find a little-used talent or desire, go exploring. I’m not a particularly good artist, but in my senior year in college I had space for some electives and I took two art courses – 5-minute sketching and composition. Though I wasn’t very good at composition, I got an A in the sketching class simply because I went from stick figures to a decent quick sketch.

I have taken other art courses along the line – Chinese brush painting being a favorite. There’s something magical about taking a blank space and filing it with your imagination, whether this is through drawing, or writing, or composing music.

Explore different media and see what new experiences, opportunities and insights appear.

Use your talent as a conduit to your soul

When you use your talent enough so it becomes second nature, the next step is to make room for the flow of your unconscious. I used to be surprised at what showed up as I typed. It felt like it was coming from outside myself. Now I know it comes from deep inside, from my thoughts, my interpretations, my soul.

Practice your talent until it becomes only the vehicle for your innermost expression.

What talent would you like to explore?

As long as it’s something creative, as long as I can explore what calls to me and interpret what I discover, the conduit doesn’t really matter. I’ve started to record an audiobook because I know I have the skill set for that. I’ve done lots of courses, but not with as many videos as I want to now. I’m a spiritual philosopher and I want to explore what that means to me and discover new ways to express it. I’m also a mapmaker because I explain to others what I figure out.

Look at what you’re already doing. Look at what talent you’d love to expand, and go exploring. Take some classes. Simply go practice whatever it is. Give thought to how you’ll bring that talent into your life. And just do it.

To Sing a Deeper Song consider:

What to Do When You Are Between Teachers
Lose Your Attachment to the Outcome
The Art of Mastery
Your Art Must Originate Within Yourself
How to Develop Your Distinctive Voice

35—How to Hold the Space for Change.
34- Use Labels to Expand Your Possibilitieses
32 – How to See Your Work As Art

Filed Under: Self Awareness, Self Cultivation, Self Mastery Tagged With: choice, self confidence, Self Mastery, self-awareness

How Being Different Makes You Special

September 20, 2016 By Cara Lumen

3 young animals

If you’re “different”, you have a unique job to do. Being different means you honor your own values, follow your passion, lead the way, and blaze the trail. You are a leader perhaps not in the traditional sense, but in the way you follow your own calling. Being different means you have the courage to explore new venues and push beyond the boundaries you encounter.

Go exploring

For me, being different has meant always being on my own. I love to explore. Currently I’m exploring my own spirituality and deepening my connection with Tao. Being OK with being different has meant not caring what other people think about how I dress or the choices I make in my life.

If you’re exploring deeply on a specific path, you’ll find yourself alone because you’re following your own unique calling.

Leave a Trail

As you explore, you can do two things: you can forge ahead and leave a trail or you can walk beside someone and shine your light where they need it. You’ll do both within your service.

My writing explores the esoteric concepts that call to me, and my work is to translate what I discover into applicable ways to bring it into your life. I do both – leave a trail of insights, and shine my light with specific steps.

Lead

You may actively lead people forward through teaching and coaching or you may lead by example.

Sometimes your very enthusiasm is contagious. Sometimes the extent of your accomplishment or the difficulties you’ve overcome are enough to inspire others.

You’ll probably use a mix of actively leading and passively leading by example. Find the combination that works best for you.

You are special because of what you have become

When I was in high school 65 years ago, women were expected to get married and have children. That was it. But I was fortunate; my mother made certain I went to college.

I was an independent introvert who liked to think about things. A comparative religion course opened up a world of possibilities for me. And I was a rebel.

All my choices are reflected in each moment of my life today.

Begin different bears a responsibility

There’s still time to do more with your different-ness. I’m 83. I’m going for 114. There’s much work to be done.

Technology is going pretty fast for me but I can record podcasts and videos and put ebooks up on Amazon. Pick the places you want to explore and learn what you need to learn.

Then do your work and leave a trail of strong, empowering ideas to light the paths of those who follow.

To Sing a Deeper Song consider:
The Many Faces of Your Calling
How Do You Nurture “Different”
What Do You Do for People That They Can’t Get Elsewhere?
The Power of Your Personal Path
35—How to Hold the Space for Change.
27 – Why Have You Been Chosen

Filed Under: Positive Change, Self Awareness, Self Mastery Tagged With: positve change, self confidence, self-awareness

Just Because You Can

August 16, 2016 By Cara Lumen

Gol medal

Years ago at a PTA meeting I figured out that just because I could do every job there didn’t mean I should. And it turns out that the same holds true today. The Bright Shiny Objects are much too intriguing and somehow I need to make a choice.

The more you know, the more opportunities there are

I can now efficiently produce a podcast from start to finish. I have the self-publishing process figured out. I’ve been blogging for fifteen years. That alone should keep me busy. And then there are videos. I’ve only done a few, but a recent webinar gave me ideas for how and why I should do a ton more. Learning opened new doors.

Choose to learn

I love to learn. So the mere process of exploring and mastering a new technique is stimulating. But I could also take what I know and get better at using it. It doesn’t always have to be about starting from scratch. If learning is your stimulation of choice, notice how far afield it takes you and then bring yourself back. Make something happen with what you know.

Make a choice because it’s your best way to do the job

A friend is beginning a new business. As we worked our way through the methods, blog posts, networking, courses, coaching, it turns out that writing in a conversational tone is not in her skill set. But she is very comfortable talking. So the choice was obvious, turn to videos to connect with people. Use your unique skills to accomplish what you set out to do.

What is the most fun to do?

We get to have fun in our business. Why else are we doing it if not to grow ourselves along with those we serve. When I did my first video I had a blast and then I remembered – I have two degrees in theater, of course I would like doing that. But I also like a whole lot of other things. And therein lies a problem for me.

What gives you the most return on time invested?

Certain things only you can do. Other things you can hire someone else to do. What is it that only you can do, and are you making time to do it?

There are just so many hours in the day. You have to make some choices about how you spend your time. I block my week off in broad areas of focus – a day to write, a day to do videos, a day to do podcasts. And I still have to be careful not to run out of days!

How can you best focus your time? What does that produce? How effective is it?

Find balance

Learning is great, it opens new doors. Doing is rewarding, it adds to your expertise. Results are the cumulation of your learning and doing. Consciously cut back on what you promised so that you have time to learn, to create and to enjoy the process. Don’t do it just because you can. Pick and choose what’s the most fun and the most effective. Then just do that.

To Sing a Deeper Song Consider:

Balance and the Flow of Living
Two Steps Past Hard
The Many Faces of Your Calling
What Do You Save Space for in Your Life?
42 – The Stuck Place Called Decision
40 – Who Do yo Want to Serve?

Filed Under: Alligned Choices, Positive Change, Self Awareness Tagged With: choice, positve change, self confidence, self-awareness, Unfolding

Lose Your Attachment to the Outcome

May 2, 2016 By Cara Lumen

attachment-9

When you truly don’t care how something turns out, there’s no stress, no pressure, no worry. How freeing! I’m not suggesting we don’t care about our life, but I am suggesting we learn to be more amenable to whatever shape it takes. We can learn to go with the flow, shape things as they come and accept what develops. Surely we can.

Release your attachment to the timing of things

Timing is one of the trickiest things to let go. Years ago, when I first became a Reiki Master Teacher, I wanted to create some classes, both first and second degree. It was as easy as opening my calendar and writing them in. I decided to have three first-degree classes before I offered one second-degree class since I knew not everyone would move on. That’s it. A logical decision based on expectation and a calendar to set the dates. I made up the timing. I could change the timing.

What timing have you made up that you are attached to? If you let go of that idea, how would you feel? What new space would open up. What new opportunity would appear?

Take a reality check and clear out the impossible

Right now, every week I send out two posts, one podcast and a newsletter. If I want to add videos or work on my books, I may have to alter that delivery promise.

It has taken me a long time to self-publish my two latest ebooks because I had to learn Scrivener and the process for Amazon and Smashwords. If I had made a due date, a delivery date, I would have been stressed beyond all measure.

As it was, I just kept taking small steps, studying a new tutorial every day, and honoring what I felt ready to learn/do next. Clear the space for the next step you need to take.

Release your attachment to the form of things

When I became overwhelmed and stressed out in the self-publishing process, a friend suggested I just focus on creating one form. The relief was immediate. All I had to do was create the pdf for my site. That alone would give me a great sense of accomplishment. Then I could focus on placing them on Amazon. Trying to produce both forms together felt overwhelming. Taking one at a time was very doable. What basic form must your create first? Just do that.

Release your attachment to the need for things

Possessions are a personal choice. A lot. A little. If you decide you want more of something, take time to look at what it will take to get it. Does it mean longer hours, less family time, more stress? Measure what you give up in order to get more things.

The less I have around me, the more I have inside me. The more simply I live my life, the greater the impact. I no longer add material possessions to my home. Instead, I cherish what I have and even look to see which of those I can pass forward.

Possessions can take some sacrifice. Put your needs and wants in balance with the reality check of what it will take to acquire and maintain them.

Release your attachment to the use of things

I used to be an impulse buyer. I got excited about a lot of things. I have better control over that today but I still got a bit carried away when I purchased a juicer based on the enthusiasm of someone who gave a class. I know I am easily influenced by the excitement of others and I have to watch that when it comes to adding things to my life.

It works best when I wait before I buy. Often when I wait I find that I truly do not need or want what I was attached to. Time is a great leveler of what you want versus what you need.

Release your attachment tot the outcome

Attachment to the outcome is a huge creator of stress. There are so many perfect ways a situation can unfold. Wouldn’t it be easier to simply go along with the flow and see what shows up?

When you are attached to the outcome you make plans. You outline, you set deadlines, you move in a specific direction.

When you go with the flow you have a broad objective in mind and with every opportunity that appears, you measure and weigh, consider how you feel and if/how it fits into your objective, or if your objective should be changed because of this new information.

You make your choice based on where you are in the moment, not on where you were weeks ago. You have new information, new insights, new awareness. Choose from the present moment.

In order to be in the moment, become more aware

Respond, don’t react. When I get a new idea, I often stop what I’m doing and write a post about it in order to figure it out. The idea for this post came from an article I noticed about relieving stress. As I looked to see how I managed stress I realized that I’m not stressed because I’m not attached to any outcome.

Yet good things happen in their own good time. For instance, my books will get where they’re supposed to go; I just don’t know exactly when that will be.

I let the ideas change form. Although I explore the idea of attachment to outcome in this article, I already see it expanded into a podcast. Maybe it will even become a course. I don’t know yet. The Universe will surprise me.

And whatever I decide to do, whenever I decide to do it, will be perfect. I just get to trust it to unfold and make myself available when and where I’m needed.

Can you begin to lose your attachment to outcome? How relaxed and free will that make you feel?

To Sing a Deeper Song consider:
Hold the Space for Things To Change
Are You in the Right Room?
Engage in the Power of trust
Fitting In Is Not What You Do To Be Extraordinary
How to Develop Your Distinctive Voice
Unleash the Power of The 20 Minute Lesson
32 – How to See Your Work As Art
31-How to Cultivate The Power of Simplicity
30 – The No Plan Plan

Filed Under: Positive Change, Self Awareness, Self Mastery Tagged With: positve change, self confidence, Self Mastery, self-awareness

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