by Cara Lumen
Trust is the cornerstone of all relationships. It is a two way street. We have to learn to trust in ourselves, in our judgment, and our choices. And as a friend and business person we have to earn the trust of others.
There are so many powerful synonyms for trust: faith, belief, hope, conviction, confidence, expectation, reliance, and dependence for starters. When I read those I wondered how many of those I had going for me.
How much do you trust others?
The issue of trust is coming up for me because I’m going to have knee replacement surgery in a few weeks and I have to trust a lot of people I have never met before. I’m new in town so I followed my insurance to the orthopedic surgeon. I simply called up the office and said, “Who does knees?” It turns out this surgeon has an exceedingly fine reputation. So I trusted my instincts that had me ask for the one who does knees and trusted that this unknown choice would be the right one. I have faith that I have been guided to the right team of people for this particular moment in my life. And I have the expectation of getting literally “back on my feet” easily and rapidly. Faith and expectation – both elements of trust.
There are a lot of people that I don’t yet know that I now have to rely on. The operating team, the nurses, the physical therapist. I have to trust that these people are well-trained, love their jobs and are doing their best work. I have to expect that – its part of trust.
So I’m sitting here thinking about how we are inspired to do our best work when we are with our ideal client; how they motivate and inspire us. And I wondered, what can I do to be the ideal patient so those people are inspired to do their best work on me? I’ll remember their names, or try to since I think drugs are on my agenda. My daughter who has done orthopedic surgery three times says I’ll hurt but I won’t care. I have to be prepared to do my best work as a patient: do the exercises I am given, send healing thoughts to my body so I recover rapidly. And I’m at a bit of a disadvantage because I’m the recipient, not the giver. How do I become a cheerful, cooperative, appreciated receiver?
I have never before been so aware of how I must trust others and how I can inspire them to do their best work – on me.
Do you trust yourself?
I’ve had a really good life so the idea of signing up for pain with this surgery had me worried. I did some EFT Emotional Freedom Technique) and I can no longer get a rise out of that concept any more. I’m a Reiki Master Teacher so I’m already sending energy ahead to the whole experience. I can’t drive for six weeks so the thought occurred to me that I would be lonely. But I’ve figured out that before I go in I’ll go to the library and get books on the history of the Kansas City area – the Indians, the pioneers, all that took place in this jumping off place for the untamed West. That would be fun. If I read a business book I’ll want to get up and create something, so I want balance there. I have confidence on my inquisitive mind to keep me entertained. Confidence and expectation – both elements of trust.
Why do others trust you?
Now that I’m on the need-to-trust others half of trust I have a better idea of how I can earn trust in my own life and my business.
Have I built a reputation of being really good at what I do (like my surgeon has)? He obviously is skilled, he keeps up with the latest innovations in his field, and he loves what he does. And from the experience I’ve had with his staff so far, he over-delivers.
Can people tell I care about them and what I can do for them? I have seen my surgeon for about 5 minutes so far because I think that’s the norm with surgeons but I have spent 45 minutes with the former surgical nurse who he has selected to orient me to my choices. She was kind, articulate, and thorough and I felt well informed and well cared for.
Does my team reflect competency and caring? The scheduler for my surgeon was warm and efficient. There have been great follow up literature to assure me all is well and will be fine. I have some special class room orientation with a nurse that will give me information on what to expect. Good follow up is an important part of building trust.
Do I offer high quality services and follow up? My sense of the mid-west is that this is the most kind and caring community I have ever met. So yes, I expect to be well cared for.
Being in a position to need to trust others because they have skills I do not have has been revealing. It has given me ideas of how I can build trust. I can anticipate needs, give the best that I’ve got, be reliant in my delivery, and show up consistently so others know they can depend on me. I can help them get great results so they have confidence in me and believe that what I offer will make a difference in their lives.
Think a minute about who you trust and why. What do they do that makes you trust them? Then go forth and do likewise.
© 2010 Cara Lumen